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5 year old being picked on/excluded

7 replies

Jumind · 24/09/2024 20:39

After school a lot of kids go to a park nearby which my son always wants to do as he wants to be with his friends. When there they boys usually play football, most of them 5 years old but a couple of older ones join in and one of the older ones is very vocal and all of the others do what he says.

The vocal boy does not like my son. Has never directly told him he cannot play but is very quick to accuse him of fouls and give him a yellow card and after the first yellow card a red card and then my son can't play any more because those are the rules of football. I am always there watching what is happening and my son very rarely does anything to warrant a yellow card. He basically just has to touch anyone else and he has a yellow card. The others get away with far worse without getting any yellow card. My son will protest that his yellow card is not fair but the others all gang up on him and tell him that he was in the wrong. Then comes the inevitable red card and he is out of the game.
I have also seen others in the group deliberately pushing my son over.

Until now I haven't intervened much or said anything to the other boys as I think the kids should learn to play together without the parents always having to intervene but also because I am wary of telling other people's kids what they should do. I'm not sure how much attention the parents are paying and I think they haven't seen what's happening. I did intervene once when another boy told him he wasn't allowed to play at all.

I try to encourage my son to play with other kids or go to another park but he is having none of it. I have explained why I don't think the football game is a good idea but he just wants to do what his friends do.

What would other parents do in this situation? Should I be speaking to the kids and telling them they are being too harsh on him or should I leave them to it to sort out between themselves but supporting my son to stand up for himself? To be honest I don't see him being able to stand up for himself as he is too outnumbered.

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Flibflobflibflob · 24/09/2024 20:46

Speak up for him, he’s only 5, you need to be one of those shouty parents because your son is getting used to being pushed around. Fix it now before it becomes ore of a thing with other kids seeing him as a soft target. If these are boys it may be more helpful to drag a bloke there (I know it shouldn’t make a difference) and get them to call out every shit decision.

Ozanj · 24/09/2024 20:48

They see him as a soft target because his mum’s right there and says nothing

poppyzbrite4 · 24/09/2024 20:50

Either stick up for him and tell the little shits to stop picking on your son or find something else for him to do as he's being scapegoated and bullied.

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Sologurn · 24/09/2024 20:52

How much older are the older boys? Because this sounds craaaazy for 5 year olds. If they're a lot older then I would probably suggest they don't play together. I know that's not nice and older kids can play with younger ones in the right circumstances but maybe it's an age thing

Soontobe60 · 24/09/2024 20:52

He’s 5! Stop taking him to play with bigger children who likely don’t want younger children spoiling their game.

Jumind · 24/09/2024 20:56

The bigger kids are 6 and 7. There is just two of them in the group.
The rest are all in the same class.

I have heard it loud and clear. From tomorrow I will be sticking up for him and calling the other boys out on the bad behaviour.

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Ifoughthefight · 24/09/2024 20:59

You don't need any of this
Nor you, nor your son

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