Co Parenting with difficulty

[Reeves123]

I lost my 6 year old son a year ago to his Dad after the head mistress came to my front door as was late getting him in, having notified them of difficulties, and since he was returned to his father and court order against me using my metal health and alleged abuse to son and father as reasoning. The allegations of child abuse were untrue and ticked by the school along side abuse to his father, admittedly there was a dysfunctional co parenting dynamic but I have taken the blame and lost entirely. I didn't feel strong enough to fight enough with court proceedings and my ex and I agreed not to raise historic domestic issues to the table. In turn the court have deemed it reasonable for my son to live with his father until 18.
In essence I have lost my motherhood and confidence in my ability to do enough for my dear son. I would appreciate any advice a year down the line

To add a little more detail, I left baby father very early after entering the world due to domestic problems, admittedly have suffered with mental health difficulties but have willingly worked and sought help and advice. Never harmed or neglected my child and found ongoing difficulty to co.parent with his father who always was unwilling to work with services. Social only became involved after head mistress removed my son and never communicated there after other than calling a safe guarding bell, and then supporting melt ex with court.paperwork alleging child abuse concerns which were never found true.