Why did you have more than one child ?

[Snowdrops17]

Just that really , I just had my first baby she is 14 weeks. I always thought I would have 2 children mainly because I'm an only child and didn't want that for mine, personally I think it's fine when your a child but it's very lonely and hard the older you get and the older your parents get. We don't have any family close and she will have no cousins her age and although I really don't fancy doing this all over again as it's been so much harder than I could of ever imagined we also tried to conceive for 2 years before getting pregnant. we will try for a second for her sake maybe in a years time. Just curious really .

My father was an only child and hated it - he was lonely as a child, felt he carried the burden of too much parental expectation as this wasn't shared with a sibling, and all the caring for his parents when old fell on him. When I was first pregnant he made me promise I'd have more than one.

I was inclined to have two but watching what a friend who is the only child of two only children has gone through since her parents died cemented that intention. I was one of three so would never have three myself, only two or four.

Because the first one was so delightful that by the time she was 9 months old we decided to make another delight. And we did. But that was enough- two children, two parents, no-one outnumbered.

I wanted to do it all again and for the reason you're finding being an only hard. My siblings are a huge support with my parents. I can see benefits in childhood of being an only child though and in adulthood of your parents help you.

My first was a difficult baby, I barely got any sleep, she had colic and screamed for hours and parenthood was a shock. At 14 weeks I would have told you she'd be an only child! My second is a completely different character and was a delightfully easy baby who slept well and was easy to settle.

I wasn't too bothered about having a second dc but financially we had a lucky break and it meant we could afford a big house, lots of childcare support and I could be a sahm, so it was a pretty easy decision.

I had twins the first time round and was over the moon as had always wanted multiple but we still wanted children of different ages so I actually think that was a big factor. That's why we chose to have a 3rd. And then we realised we loved having a big family and felt that we wanted a 4th and could cope and support another one hence DC4!! Then DC5 was a complete surprise but she has been an absolute blessing.

I think I have always just been made to have a large family and I really do love it. Being a mother is the most important thing to me

Ha, same.

I was never maternal. Never coo'd over a baby in my life... then I became a mum and loved it! Had 3. Remarried, had another. The very best part of my life.

• for fun
• wanted multiple grown up children
• wanted the lifestyle - busy household, loads to do
• helping out the birth rate 😉 (obviously not but I can tell myself that if ever feeling guilty. Vast majority of my friends have zero or 1 child so I can just think I had one of their second ones)
• the first child was excellent and the second one was too and who wouldn’t want more of that (third one is excellent but we’re done)
• selfishness (but apparently people tell child free people they’re selfish too 🤷🏻‍♀️)

DS 2 wasn't planned but straight away when we found out we were so excited to give DS 1 a sibling. We would have tried eventually. They are very close and couldn't imagine it any other way.

Well, I grew up with one sibling myself (who i did not like one bit!!) As a child, i never wished to be an only but i actually wished for another sibling so i had a choice. All my pals seemed to be in families where there were 3 or 4 and i was a bit envious.

So - my early ideas probably started then

However, after my first was born, i got severe postnatal psychosis. I had to have ECT and was on the psychiatric ward totally psychotic!

The chances of that re occuring is 50%.

So - me and DH did a bit of researching. DHs parents are BOTH only children that married each other. I got a book about only children full of only children's experiences growing up and i have to say some things fitted DH's parents to a tee. Especially fear of confrontation.

My parents were both one of five and i decided growing up in a family with siblings and cousins and aunts and uncles (not all under one roof of course) seemed to be the way to go.

Once i had recovered from DD1, I had DS1. And i wasn't ill at all. In fact, i was a real Mother Earth. I just loved it. So we had another. And then i switched my career to childminding and we had 2 more!

I was never ill again, fortunately. All my kids are grown up now but they seem to get on great and keep in touch.

We love our big family!

I was an only and absolutely loathed and detested it. Wanted four but DH also an only wasn't quite on board with that, so we compromised on three!

I was broody for my next within weeks of my first being born!

Second due any day and I can't wait. I am incredibly close to my sister - i can't imagine life without her.

I always felt quite sad for only kids ... christmasses, holidays etc...

For the same reasons as you

I didn't intend to have two. But I did- and watching their relationship grow has been the absolute joy of my life. They are young adults now and the supportive bond they have is so important and wonderful.

I'm an only child and hated it.

Dp has a sister whose an absolute witch, currently no children but won't be exactly be close cousins if she does.

Got a 2 and 4yo and pregnant with no.3.

Surprisingly it's sometimes easier with the 2 than with 1. It's lovely they always have someone to play with at the park/ days out/ holidays. I was very lonely for much of my childhood.

I had a wonderful childhood with two sisters and a brother.

We have always been close and my younger sister is my best friend.

I didn't want an only child to miss out on the closeness that I have with my siblings.

I am one of three. I love babies, I love being pregnant. We stopped at 2 for finacial and pratical reasons.

I had twins. I wouldn’t get pregnant again. They are a delight and adults now.

I am one of three, DH is one of three. We had three, it felt right for us. When we had the two it felt like someone was missing to me.

Because I desperately wanted another baby. siblings can help or be terrible, hard to predict. Pros and cons. I’d focus more on what you want and can cope with.

Why would 4 be better than 3?

I hadn’t even held my first born (being checked over after meconium) when I said “I have GOT to do that again”.

which is an interesting reaction to the most terrifying painful experience of my life. Eh. Hormones.

I wanted a second because I wanted to parent again. I imagine practice would make perfect, how little I knew!!!

This made me laugh as I was staunchly one and done till DD1 became 2 and was super funny and cute and great fun, so then we decided to have another. DD2 is now that fun age herself, but I won't be tricked again

When my eldest was about 18 mths my hormones went crazy for a second run round the track!

Needless to say they didn't go crazy for a third go 🤣