Toileting at nursery

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My DD goes to nursery 2 days a week, she’s 3 soon to be 4 so will start school next September. Currently in Pre school and has been at the same nursery since she was 9 months old.

In general they’re great but we are having an issue with toileting while she’s there. She’s come home on quite a few occasions with dirty poo stained knickers, the gist I’m getting is no one is there to help her and no one is keeping an eye on them while their in the bathrooms. She is fully toilet trained but just isn’t interested in wiping her own bum, it is something I am trying to work on but at the same time it isn’t something I want to push to hard on until she’s ready as she’s quite head strong so just point blank refuses to entertain it.

Am I right to be annoyed with this? Or is this something she should be doing? I have complained to nursery and raised this now on at least 4 different occasions and keep getting told they will have a word with the room staff but it doesn’t seem like they are doing anything before I push further on this I just want opinions and to know how much help there pre school children get.

I would focus on getting her to wipe herself.

ideally they should be able to check every time she goes but realistically the ratios make that very difficult.

She should be learning to wipe herself by now, or at least trying. We’re in exactly the same boat with DS and we sent those flushable wet wipes in with him to keep in the nursery loo and he’s just about managing ok. We also try to encourage telling a teacher he’s going but he doesn’t always. At home he wipes then we wipe to check. The ratios in the preschool class are usually 1:8 with nursery staff or 1:13 with a qualified teacher which doesn’t really allow for accompanying every child to the toilet every time so if she’s reluctant then you’re going to need to push it until she’s able to manage better independently.

Your attitude of not encouraging her because she isn’t interested in wiping her own bum isn’t going to be acceptable when she starts school in less than a year.

you need to be getting her to do it herself at home therefore meaning she’ll be doing it at nursery too.

Sorry, but I disagree with the PPs. Yes, you should encourage wiping at this age, but a 3 year old needing help is not unreasonable, and being left in dirty knickers is a red line for me. School is a year away, which is a third of her life again, so a long time developmentally.

OP, I would speak to the nursery and agree a strategy where they help support your efforts to teach wiping, but make clear she needs help. My DD has some toileting issues and will be 4 in March, so a similar age. Her nursery has been nothing but supportive

@DaisyChain505 i get what your saying, I have no intention of sending her to school without being able to. However she was the same when we began potty training, she point blank refused and then one day decided to give it a go of her own accord and smashed it in a week. I was just hoping if she keeps being given the option she’d choose to by herself.

My daughter has loose poos and can often struggle get her bottom properly cleaned. Nursery always checked she was clean / helped her clean. She's just turned 4 and started school. They have said for the first few weeks they make sure all the students are cleaning properly and if required for select pupils with problems they will continue to do so. My daughters relates to delayed food allergies and toddler diarrhoea that she has mostly outgrown but not completely. Thankfully she's moved she schedule and seems to be waiting until she's home. I would absolutely be expecting that they do a quick check to make sure the bottom is clean even if the child has done the cleaning

They have one adult to every five kids now, right? If one child toddles off to the loo, should they abandon the other four and wait to supervise?

I get what you're saying but I think you need to adjust your expectations a bit. And start teaching her to wipe herself, whether she's interested or not.

My 5yo still struggles with this in year 1, tbh kids are just gross creatures and lots won't care about skiddy pants through primary and beyond. It's minging but a fact of life.

Ths child is 3yo.
3
years
old.
Many in reception dont wipe their own bums, nevermind a 3 year old.