Hi again,
I’ve been simmering on this for a few days, thinking I’d come to some rational idea or at least stop feeling mad, but im not!
just wanted to say first off, from my last post that my boys had a good week with their dad, I video called them every evening as part of our mediated agreement. And they were in different clothes every day, so they had a lot more clothes there than I thought - and yes they were all clothes that I’ve bought so he didn’t buy them anything extra to have at his house.
right now I’m a bit fuming.
I recently signed a new Saturday Sunday contract at work as a split contract with a coworker as she has her kids the opposite weekends to me. Gives us both an extra 28 hours ish a month so was a win win financially.
I get a call from the ex who says he can’t have the boys next week and I’ll need to figure it out.
I specifically stated on the mediation agreement that if we could not care for the boys at anytime during our agreed time with them, that we would need to find our own childcare and not expect the other parent to be able to have them. Which he agreed too.
his reason is that he is attending his aunts funeral about an hours train ride away.
however he has never met this relative, and only knew of her existence 5 years ago (we were together when he found out) she’s also not a direct aunt, but like a step aunt through marriage it’s a bit confusing.
This funeral is also taking place on a Sunday, which is a bit odd? I’ve never known funerals to take place on a Sunday, but this is in Chelmsford so maybe different? If anyone can shed any light on that?
It Is also taking place on the Sunday he has an event running - this is his new self employed buisness running warhammer tournaments and it’s on his ‘company’ facebook page that he has an event happening on this date.
so you can see why I’m questioning if there is indeed a funeral, and why he is wanting to go to a basically strangers funeral.
there’s too many coincidences to be a coincidence? And my intuition is throwing red flags.
I told him to take the children with him if he can’t get childcare, but he said he’s not back until Monday afternoon so he can’t.
this is the third time in 1yr that he has basically cancelled at relatively short notice, so it’s not regular enough to change contact agreement… is it?
but I feel like I can’t change things to make my life better (like my job) if he is not going to be 100% consistent.
my daughters want to go abroad, but I’m constantly worried if I book something he will find a reason to cancel his time with the boys.
i can’t get weekend childcare, so I’m not going to be at work, and honestly it’s just not good enough this soon into a new contract (it will be my second contracted weekend) also if I screw the contract up, it will also affect my coworker.
i know there’s no way around my problem right now, but is there anyway I can protect myself from this going forward?
I can see his event diary on Facebook, and he has 5 events over the next 6 months that fall on his weekends with the boys.
feels a bit better to just have it written down.