School bully hasn't stopped

[MeMyCatsAndI]

My ds8 has been bullied by another child in his class for two years on and off.
My son has a disability where he has to where a medical device on his arm to read his blood sugars. This bully constantly punches & pushes my son on his medical device and has left bruising before.

Last year the child was taken into isolation for the rest of the year as I asked them not to leave them alone as it's putting my child at risk (the medical device could break, could break off in his arm and he'd need it surgicaly removed etc)
They put the bully back into my child's class this year... and low and behold three weeks into the new year he's attacked my child during playtime yesterday on his medical device and there was bleeding down to it the bully then said he'd slit my child's throat if he told so my child didn't say anything. He also took my child's money he had for the school tuck shop!

Now I've told the school once already to keep them apart, what do I do now? Is it a formal complaint to the head or to the board of governors?
I'm very stressed and don't really want to send my child to school but he enjoys school and has plenty of friends but I don't want this horrible evil little kid bullying him again.

It's time to seriously lose your shit now. The school are not adequately safeguarding your child. The bully needs to be kept in confinement at break time and as for saying he would slit your child's throat.......I'd probably call the police over that.

Ring the police.

Your son is being repeatedly assaulted and the school aren't doing anything.

Call the governers. Write letters and emails.

Time to go crazy cause you're the only one that can protect him if school aren't.

Do not address this verbally, it needs to be done in writing

As already stated, time to seriously lose your shit. Use words like safeguarding (as in failure to keep your son safe) assault and police.

Can you ring the police on a 8 year old? I thought it was nine upwards?

I thought the age of criminal responsibility was 10

I'd still call anyway for some advice and I'm make damn sure I told the school I was doing so too.

Thanks, I'm going down to the school in a minute and won't be leaving till I've spoke to the head or deputy head.
Little bastard cornered him in one of the blank sight areas and attacked him. in my right mind to tell them he needs to be expelled over this!

Yep I agree. The little shit does need to be expelled. But of course they won't. In these situations the school will usually bend over backwards to support the bully because they have complex needs etc etc and come up with a raft of excuses for them. It's maddening.

I don't say this lightly but yes I really would call the police

Make sure you do a written complaint on paper because it has to be filed and will be seen by Ofsted. Dont do communications verbally. The threats to your child are not ok. I don't know if it's worth asking external agencies for advice. Even a call to NSPCC. I would also take your child to the GP and mention your concerns and get them to document.

The other child may have issues you are unaware of but that doesn't make it ok. They need to have this managed.

I think it's awful when you feel your child isn't safe at school. I remember my child being bullied and I wrote to the school after speaking to them after a number of incidents. I told them categorically the child was not to be left alone unsupervised with mine. They had a duty of care and any further incidents would be reported.

They took it seriously then on and did move the child unfortunately they picked on another child. They did eventually get moved to a specialist school as had underlying issues. This didn't mean the physical assaults were ok.

You need to be firm for your child as the advocate and I really feel for you. It's a horrible situation to be in.

Ask how they will safeguard your child. Don’t ask/talk about the punishment for the bully.

Get a copy of the schools complaints procedure and follow it to the letter - This will almost certainly mean a formal complaint to the head before you can contact the head of governors about it. Also get a copy of the schools behaviour/bulling policy and make sure you read and understand it, so you can question and identify where the school fail to meet thier own policy in regards to keeping your child safe.

Ask for your meeting at school to be minuted

Missing the point somewhat, but do kids still have money for a school tuck shop? I thought this is why schools went online (ParentPay) to stop bullys taking other kids' money.

I have phoned the police about a little kid who was attacking mine. They took it seriously and went to the school. Not a good look for school is it? They are absolutely failing their duty to safeguard your kid.

Agree you have to lose your shit. The school basically need to be more worried about you than the parents of the bully (who are normally spectacularly unpleasant people themselves).

Or you give your kid permission to lose his shit. My DS was bullied and the school were like a wet weekend - until my DS went ballistic and threw bully on a concrete floor and really caused some damage.

No, encouraging retaliation is NOT a good solution. Very often there is a size difference too between bully and victim and encouraging this could place the child at huge physical risk. It also risks labelling the victim as “just as bad”.

I strongly agree with both paragraphs here.

You think telling your child to throw someone else on a concrete floor, “causing real damage” is a good idea?

If my child was bullied for 2 and a half years straight then absolutely I would have given them permission to fight back.

Completely disagree @Nobodywouldknow
Of course some kids aren't going to be able to fight back but if they can it is often the quickest way to put a stop to it.

What's your advice then to the op considering the school have been no use at all?

Don’t ring the police. It is no wonder they are over stretched when you see responses on here to every issue “ring the police”. What is happening is awful but it really is a school matter for now. Ask for a meeting with the Head, they have to keep your child safe in school and that isn’t happening.

I would also speak to him about standing up for himself. I am not saying be violent but teach him how to use his words to be more assertive. Bullies pick on those they perceive to be weak. Teach him how to come across as strong and assertive.

Make a complaint to school governors and head teacher and threaten legal action if necessary. The school has a duty to safeguard a child. Move school if it does not improve.

The advice to fight back literally only works if your child is physically strong enough or so inclined to do it. It has potential to backfire enormously- it could lead to the bully and his mates ramping up the violence. If you do indeed cause “serious damage” your child could end up getting expelled or labelled a trouble maker or if older, could result in a criminal record. If your child is weaker than the bully then it can lead to being laughed at even more.

When it’s adults in abusive relationships, we tell them to leave, not hit back. It solves nothing.

Also the school sets the rules about behaviour. Parents don’t have some “override” where they can permit their child to engage in violence.

Move him to another school.

I had to move my son to another school at the end of year 1. I'd been trying since reception because of a group of 4 hateful, horrible little twats. They physically, verbally and mentally tortured my little boy under the caring glare of multiple 'teachers'. I had meetings, telephone calls, letters to school, governors and ofsted. Nothing changed. I stopped sending him.