How to get three DC to different schools - logistics

[Whatnowhelp]

Returning to UK imminently after living abroad. Schools have been allocated. Problem is they are 6, 9 and 11 and have been put in different schools.

6 year old is closest, around 0.5 mile away, 9 year old, 0.5 miles further. 11 year old around 1 mile further. All schools start and end at the same time. No car, but even if I had one I can't see how it would help much as the traffic is terrible.

No partner or family nearby.

Seriously confused... how is this going to work? I've asked for them to be put together but the council say they must take the places allocated and can't be moved. They say I have the right to appeal but location is not normally considered grounds for appeal.

So, two oldest will be late most mornings and youngest will be collected late every evening? Can I collect oldest and middle before home time to make sure i'm at youngest on time?!

The oldest will walk alone in time - but it's a long way in a new country - he will not know literally which way to walk to get there for a few weeks at least!

I have no income currently so wrap around care is not a viable option - it is literally not an option for the oldest two whose school does not have any provision, the youngest's school has only some availability.

That sounds tricky. Is biking an option? You will need to push the 11yo heavily to start walking alone as quickly as possible. Phone, map, practice at weekends.

Thanks for replying GreenTea. It's the bloody middle of the night and I can't sleep with worry/confusion over this.

He's only just 11 and we are moving from a very different situation so he is completely inexperienced. He's a very good walker in general so it won't be a problem in time. It's the first 2-3 months, especially as it'll be dark (scotland) most the time, that I just can't work out.

The eldest will just have to get confident with walking on his own as soon as possible, within a week or so. I suppose he's old enough to hang around outside the school on his own, so you could walk with him there early (early enough so you have time to walk back to the other 2 schools) and then he just waits nearby until the gates open. But it's a bit hard on the younger ones to have to do that round trip.
You could drop the 9yo outside his school 10 mins early too, although the school might not approve.
Collection time will be trickier, I'd say prioritise collecting your youngest on time and your eldest will be let out on his own and can wait for you. Your 9yo will have to wait for you. There may be entichment clubs after school even if there is no wraparound care. I don't think the schools would allow you to collect early.

Oh gosh.

I know you say money is tight, but could you do something like this until you find your feet:

leave house with all three v early

drop eldest at school or near school in a safe place (maybe school can find a spot, or Starbucks or something) 20 mins early

take middle one to school for opening time

take youngest to school to be on time

for pick up:

put youngest in after school

tell eldest to wait in same Starbucks

pick up middle one on time

pick up eldest

pick up youngest

Basically, keep the youngest in supervised and safe care (yours or wrap around) at all times. Entrust eldest with independence but also in as safe a space as possible. Middle one gets to be on time at all times, youngest one is always supervised albeit late, eldest is always at school on time albeit with a bit of hanging around before/after school. In time, eldest can walk independently to meet you somewhere.

What a ballache. You’ll need to tell all this to all three schools; is actually send one email to them all, copying them all, so they know you’re not making it up!

I really feel for you, and I have had the same problem with 3 in different schools, I at least had a car but with almost simultaneous start times and work start times too. Appealing, in my opinion won't work. Went through the rigmarole of it all, was begging, please don't make do this, and it was pointless. They have their systems and that was that. The walk in my case was over 2 miles for the oldest two. So we set about on the "walks" and they had to do it, whilst the youngest got the benefit of me collecting and dropping. It wasn't that bad most of the time, they were sometimes late, but they met some friends along the way that also walked. I used to walk 2 miles to my school in the old days (admittedly I was 11, not 9) and it was hard at times but it was the way it was then. It is not great, but it can be done. I didn't mind the walk home, but god I hated the walk there. x

Thanks all, I just find in unbelievable that this is the case. I appreciate in time it will become easier - they will make walking friends, become familiar with the area etc. But I don't know how to get from here to there. I don't think I can get UC as I am married and my (horrible) h has an ok income (abroad). I have a job to go to, low paid. Been out of my area of work for 10 years. I've been working in another field but will need to take about a year to do refresher courses for my own area.

I won't earn enough even to eat to be honest. This means cutting down my hours by about .5 or 1 hour a day - very significant financial hit to us. Also, not to be morbid or anything but all the extra walking requires more food. I literally don't know what to do. I'm surprised that the 11 year old after school club (only one day a week) finishes at 4.15! How do people work enough to live?!

If you're separating from your husband (like, ending your relationship) or will be living apart more than six months then his income won't be taken into account for your UC claim. However, as a returning British citizen it can be hard to get UC paid until youve been in the UK at least three months. Citizens advice should be able to give you more help on this, but it's possible you may be able to get some help through UC. Do you have a job lined up from when you come back? If so, you'd then be able to get help with childcare costs through UC.

It is by possible.

There’s usually registration first thing so the kids won’t miss out on anything.

.5 mile isn’t that far -

Walk the eldest to school and drop him off 15 mins earlier - they are usually allowed in school particularly in wet wether and can hang out in the hall.

Same for the middle one, kids play in the play ground or in the hall.

Drip the youngest last so they are with you for a while.

Also check out the buses, there may be a school bus, which will make things easier - you may qualify for a free bus pass for him especially if you are on benefits.

I know Council have said you have to accept the places available but I would also ask about going on waiting lists for each school so that if a spot comes up you can move one of the kids. Not ideal but neither is your current situation.

Bikes or fold up scooters might also be a good idea.

Also try to get to know people. Even if you can't afford formal care, you might find a student or retired person who would be willing to help you out for a fee.

The entire route is 3.5 miles - 1.5 hour walk according to the map. A fairly small section of it can be done on a bike. I can only hope there is a breakfast club at the youngest ones school as a 3.5 mild walk before school has even started for a 6 year old is a lot. Looking at google they tend to be around £3.50 per day, which will add up!

I do have a job lined up. Is it possible to get childcare cost help through UC if I'm not eligible for UC? My understanding was that you have to be eligible first and then can apply for various aspects? My h is not coming with us and has no plans to in future as far as i know.

For the eldest, it's annoying but it's the very final section before arriving as school which is th most challenging, so unfortunately we will have to walk all the way there together at the start. It should get easier over time as there is an OK 'drop off' point (simialr to starbucks) a bit closer we can use over time.

Get on the waiting list for all three schools for your other children. Then if a spot opens up you'll be down to two schools at least.

11 year old is most able to supervise himself so he can be dropped off early and picked up last.

Schools are used to this sort of situation and you might be able to negotiate late start/early pick up with at least one of them.

I'm not in Scotland, but in England at least once a school realises this is happening they will try and help you out.

Ask the schools if they can approach a family who live near you. The 11 year old would be fine walking with another child from the school.

Due to data protection they can't give you names but they can (with your permission) give out your details.

Also check with your council if they can provide transport. They should for a distance of 2 miles under 7 years of age and 3 miles for older children.

They might tell you that they only provide transport to the nearest school, but you cannot get your children in to the nearest school.

Good luck with it all.