Help me! Night weaning.

[Eqei]

My 22mo DS is a complete comfort feeder.
im due to have a baby in less than 3 months too.

We’ve managed to avoid daytime feeds for a few months but he will not sleep without me at night. Tears..leading to sickness… it’s hell.

we feed to sleep and he really is just using me as a comforter. Sometimes mid feed he’ll ask for water or milk to which we give it but he will go straight back to boob to get to sleep.
if he’s not well he’s waking multiple times in the night.
tried cuddling
tried not being around (all hell breaks loose)
he gets so hysterical and upset it’s just not worth it - gets so upset he makes himself sick.

im just so stuck!!
any advice?

Have a look at Lyndsey hookways page on IG, she has some good advice. It's a hard age though! You could still feed at night but cut the duration of the feed shorter every few days. You could say that your nipples are 'poorly' and put a plaster on them. You could try 'habit stacking' but not sure how useful that will be at 22 months. You could also go cold turkey but obviously you'll have to deal with the upset.

How good is his language?

Weaning a toddler goes much smoother if they understand the process so they dontfeel rejected. I suspect that's most important if there are other big changes in tgeir life.

For my older 3 (still feeding DC4) I night weaned around 2nd birthday. We read stories about it for a week before we started and I used a lot of the words from the book to help them make the link. Sally weans from night nursing, mammas milk is all gone and nursiws when the sun shines were favourites.

We also did habit stacking in the lead up. Iron clad bedtime routine with no deviation for a week, then switch the feed slightly earlier. So feed with rocking and cuddling and certain music playing, then next week you unlatch before they are quite off and keep rocking. Look up the pantley pull off.

It always seems totally impossible before you do it. I'm sure I'll feel that way when the time comes for DC4

I weaned my second around that age because I was due my 3rd. It was rough, I tried leaving him with my partner at night but he was so upset so I just slept beside him and hugged him to sleep. He did cry but after a few nights he was fine.

I've just weaned mine, same age. Started by delaying, so no milk to sleep until after midnight, did that for a few days then pushed to 1, then 2 etc. Offered a cuddle with mummy, a cuddle with daddy or a drink of water instead. Hysterical tears for the first 3 or 4 nights, gradually got used to it, by week 2 he just went straight for the cuddle and actually started sleeping for longer stretches. Finally dropped the last feed (which I kept up for a good while) usually around 5am after about 7 weeks. Now he doesn't even ask for milk apart from a beaker of cows milk after nursery (was an EBF bottle refuser so this is amazing!!). Still wakes of course but now one of us just lies next to him and holds his hand and he drops back off! Still can't believe it tbh, he was such a milk monster