Am I the only one finding it hard?

[K824]

Hi, will keep it short, think I’m looking more for validation then anything else!

I have an 8.5 month old little boy, he is a very alert baby who I would probably class as quite ‘high needs’. He would still be attached to me by the umbilical cord if he had the choice. He’s needs constant stimulation/attention, always needs to be close by, sleep is hit and miss (aware of 8 month regression). Can be very whingy a lot of the times but also quite a smiley baby which I know doesn’t make sense. He definitely isn’t a calm, relaxed baby anyway.

Lately, I have been finding it SO HARD. To the point where I’m just hating it. We have just returned from holiday with partner and grandparents and he whinged the whole time and just wanted me, I am mentally exhausted.

He will be starting nursery this week, one afternoon a week, I feel terrible because I genuinely can not wait to have some peace and quiet, all other mums are in tears and I’ve got the party poppers at the ready!

I was due to go back to work this month however extended it as the first few months of his life was just awful to, (CMPA which has now been sorted thank god) I spent a lot of the early days wishing the time away so I guess I’ve extended my leave to make up for time. Now I’m wandering is this the right thing to do? Do I just need a break?

Has anyone else felt this week? I’m quite confident I don’t have post natal D as some days are brilliant, it’s just very dependant on his mood.

I feel like I’m the only person finding parenting so difficult! I’m mentally and physically exhausted most days!

Any advice/thoughts?

Hopefully going back to work will help, a bit of time to be you and not think about baby

Baby phase isn't for everyone it can be very boring and endlessly hard - like you said it's ups and downs

You absolutely aren't the only one - hang in there it gets more fun when they can walk and talk etc, some babies are hard work because they are frustrated they can't do things so they chill out when they can (hopefully)

Also, he only naps for 30-45 minutes at a time, 3 times a day so I don’t get a decent chunk of ‘alone time’ during the day.

am I being unreasonable and should of expected this? I just feel very overstimulated all the time at the moment

I would say you indeed need to get back to work asap and your baby can adjust to existing not attached to your hip constantly. It sounds soul destroying, and no way can you enjoy parenthood (or life) like that!

Of course you aren't unreasonable! It's just how you feel, and it is relentless and hard, even without a higher needs baby sometimes.

Enjoy your afternoon: DD1 originally was booked in for a half day on a Friday and full day on Monday, after two weeks I asked them if they could take her for the full day on Friday too

I just wanted to pop on & say you're not the only one finding parenting hard and overstimulting.

My DD is 7.5 months is quite a high needs baby and gets tired and whingey quite quickly. I feel like she's got a bit harder since she is so eager to start crawling and be on the move! She also only naps for 30-40 mins like you say so I struggle to keep up with housework plus weaning on top now!

I'm bloody knackered by the end of the day and do find it hard some days. Even with help from parents and husband when he gets home from work. I'm not sure I want another one to be honest lol!

It honestly makes me feel so much better hearing this. Mine is nearly there with crawling so I’m hoping maybe once he’s fully on the move, it’ll get easier. I swear though I’ve been saying this since day dot ‘when he can sit up on his own, it’ll get easier’ etc something else just comes along!

It is so so tiring isn’t it, I see some mums just breeze through it and I’m like HOW!?

Im also in two minds about another baby, I’m torn between if it’s another one like my first, il know what to expect but then can I do it all again with a toddler in tow!!!

thank you for commenting though, it does make me feel so much better that I’m not the only one x

God you are definitely not alone, I didn't properly enjoy parenting my first until he was 18 months old it was awful he cried and moaned and didn't sleep and he wouldn't take a bottle and I never got any space. Sounds ridiculous but he just hated being a baby!

It wasn't until 4 years later when I had my second who slept and smiled and gurgled and was just an all round easy baby that I realised why some people actually love the small baby phase.

If it helps though DC1 was an amazing toddler and I loved that phase with him despite everyone saying toddlers are hard I didn't find it hard at all. I think he'd got all of his strops out of the way while he was tiny 🤣 plus easy baby no2 is now an absolute demon toddler...it's swings and roundabouts!

You're doing great. I lasted four and five months each time before mine went to nursery. It was the only break we ever got. I instantly felt 100% better, and 21 years on, we are all bonded just fine and never a single regret.
I am surprised nursery is allowing only one afternoon a week though, for settling purposes. Many stipulate at least two days.

I found 0-3 soul destroying, the sleep deprivation makes everything worse. I was delighted to wave mine off to nursery. I did start crying on the first day tbh, definitely some guilt and feat there. It does get better, the early years are HARD especially if you have one of the non sleeping ones. Go back to work, you will enjoy DC more when you have a break from them.

I'm not sure I believe it gets easier when people say it!

It is so tiring and non stop. I don't feel like I have much time apart from when shes goes to sleep at night to actually sit down and relax which I suppose is the same for most parents. I wonder how people have more than one child sometimes.

They probably are struggling but hide it well. I think I probably hide it well too as people don't like to show they struggle x