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Parenting

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I need CMS advice

8 replies

BurningHeat · 17/09/2024 16:04

Hi folks,

I am a Dad, and I look after my child full time. The mother is not in my child's life, as she was abusive towards my child and I, and has even been to prison as a result of this, and other crimes she has committed (including other violent crimes and animal abuse). She is not in prison now, and has not been since May as far as I know. I do not have any contact with her, and nor does my child. Although she is frequently seen begging and harassing people by local shops, so we avoid that area.

I made a claim through the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) in July 2023. They know who the mother is, and have all of her details. They have even set up a deduction to her benefits. However, I have never received anything from her, as according to CMS, the deduction would leave her with less than the minimum amount to live on.

The thing is, the mother is a well known drug addict. She steals and sells what she can to fund her opioid addiction. There is a significant possibility that she has an unofficial cash income, as she always has money for drugs from what I have heard. I have spoken to CMS about this, and of course they are unable to help.

This woman put my child and I through hell (a judge ruled that my child should live with me, and never the mother). I am a normal guy, I do not, and have never done drugs. I work hard for my daughter, and always strive to be the absolute best dad I can. I am always emotionally available, and give my child everything she needs to be well balanced and happy. I just want the mother to pay her part, it is only ~£29 a month. I am not even that bothered about the money, it is more the principle. She was abusive to the point she was in local newspapers, and this is literally the bare minimum she should be doing.

I would be grateful for any advice. Our Citizen's Advice isn't great where I am, and it is very rare that you will be able to speak to someone (I have been on hold for two hours already today).

OP posts:
bottyjet · 17/09/2024 16:06

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Mrsttcno1 · 17/09/2024 16:07

Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do, all they can go off is her income that they have knowledge of. The only way to challenge it would be if you had evidence of her earning extra, working cash in hand etc, but even then they would have to investigate and find that true themselves. I’m sorry OP it sounds like a horrendous situation.

bottyjet · 17/09/2024 16:07

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BurningHeat · 17/09/2024 16:09

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I must emphasize here that I am not, nor ever have been a drug addict. That is the mother. My apologies if that was not clear.

OP posts:
BurningHeat · 17/09/2024 16:10

Mrsttcno1 · 17/09/2024 16:07

Unfortunately there’s nothing you can do, all they can go off is her income that they have knowledge of. The only way to challenge it would be if you had evidence of her earning extra, working cash in hand etc, but even then they would have to investigate and find that true themselves. I’m sorry OP it sounds like a horrendous situation.

Thank you. I did a fair bit of research, and arrived at the same conclusion, but I'm only human, so I thought I would ask in case there was something I missed.

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 17/09/2024 16:12

I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. She won’t ever be the person who wish she was, let go of the money thing, claim anything you’re entitled to in benefits and focus on having her out of your lives.

bottyjet · 17/09/2024 16:26

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AgileGreenSeal · 17/09/2024 23:05

I would let it go. It’s not worth the stress. Focus on being a great dad and meeting your daughter’s needs to the best of your ability.

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