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What age did you stop giving party bags?

30 replies

TreeAtMyWindow · 17/09/2024 15:02

Daughter is turning 8. We've agreed a fairly low-key celebration this year: 1 hr activity for her and five friends, followed by pizza and cake. It's suddenly struck me people might be expecting party bags. If I'd hired a church hall, I'd definitely be doing them, but this is more in my head as an activity than a party.

I can sort something out if I have to, I'd probably just get everyone a book. If there isn't a social expectation that I should, though, I'd rather save the time and money.

What age did you drop party bags?

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PrincessOfPreschool · 17/09/2024 15:05

I moved from party bags to something like a small box of chocs or a large bar. Just a little thank you for coming. Then once it was just a few kids (4 or so) I dropped a gift completely. The next big birthday with lots of people was 16th and I didn't do anything as it was a fun and expensive activity.

Choosingmiddleschool · 17/09/2024 15:05

All the 8 yrs old birthday parties my DD has been to have had party bags.

LittleGreenDragons · 17/09/2024 15:16

If you are invited to a child's party then the expectation is a party bag and cake in return. No exceptions.

If one or two are invited to help celebrate your child's birthday at a local attraction or sleepover then no party bag is expected in return (because you are paying for their tickets or dinner/multiple snacks ).

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InTheRainOnATrain · 17/09/2024 15:21

DD went to an 8th birthday party recently where they did a selection of chocolate bars in a bowl and got to choose. She thought this was great. Another couple recently they’ve made stuff at the party- tie die t-shirts or decorating denim jackets for example, and took those home with a bag of sweets. So whilst I wouldn’t send them home empty handed but I think they’re old enough to drop the bag of tat.

TreeAtMyWindow · 17/09/2024 15:34

LittleGreenDragons · 17/09/2024 15:16

If you are invited to a child's party then the expectation is a party bag and cake in return. No exceptions.

If one or two are invited to help celebrate your child's birthday at a local attraction or sleepover then no party bag is expected in return (because you are paying for their tickets or dinner/multiple snacks ).

Edited

I'm not sure that I entirely understand the distinction. We are going to a local attraction, and I am paying for their entrance and dinner, but because she's invited five friends instead of two, they need a party bag?

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Button28384738 · 17/09/2024 15:36

My DD is 9 and all the 9th birthday parties she went to last year did have party bags. This year for 10th birthdays maybe not.

Last time I did them for my eldest was her 11th birthday (she really wanted them and had missed out on a party the 2 years before that due to covid)

Lots of parents do "party bags" as in one gift and few sweets now though rather than a bag of plastic junk. I do stuff like pens, notebooks, nice hair bobbles etc

TreeAtMyWindow · 17/09/2024 15:38

Thanks for the help, everyone. Consensus seems to be that they need a party bag.

I hate it when they get a whole load of junk food in a party bag, just after having a whole load of junk food at a party, which makes me a bit reluctant to give them chocolate. Making things would be lovely, but I'm taking them to a climbing centre, so not very practical this time.

I shall order some books for them to choose from, I think, and bags to put them in.

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almondflake · 17/09/2024 15:42

I think if you're taking them climbing and funds allow maybe a chalk bag and a couple of carabiners to use and take home afterwards if you want to .

Jellybeanbag · 17/09/2024 15:42

No books please.

Kids even at 8 want sweets or something a bit more interesting than a book.

mitogoshigg · 17/09/2024 15:51

I did gifts once the numbers were smaller, eg a craft set

Yuckyyuckyuckity · 17/09/2024 15:54

I'd give out something, but not party bags full of tat. A book is an option, but a bit meh.

What about personalised drinks cups with lid and straw? There's loadssss on Etsy for around 4 quid each so that's £20 in total for something that's more useful than the usual junk which parents can't wait to throw away. Or a keyring/pencil case/similar with their initial on. Anything with a personal touch always goes down well, for minimal effort.

FASDE1517 · 17/09/2024 15:55

Most people round here seem to switch to sweet cones after about 7.

TreeAtMyWindow · 17/09/2024 16:01

Yuckyyuckyuckity · 17/09/2024 15:54

I'd give out something, but not party bags full of tat. A book is an option, but a bit meh.

What about personalised drinks cups with lid and straw? There's loadssss on Etsy for around 4 quid each so that's £20 in total for something that's more useful than the usual junk which parents can't wait to throw away. Or a keyring/pencil case/similar with their initial on. Anything with a personal touch always goes down well, for minimal effort.

I had actually been thinking about initial keyrings, but that didn't seem like enough. I'll have a look at some personalised stuff, that's a good idea.

Interesting that everyone is so anti-book. For me, the only thing better than a book is a better book!

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TeamPolin · 17/09/2024 17:45

Am fortunate in the sense that the Mum's in my son's class are fairly down to earth and don't ramp up the pressure for this sort of thing. We give out a piece of birthday cake and a paper sweet cone. Less aggro than a party bag and no bits of plastic tut....

WhyDoesItAlways · 17/09/2024 17:51

DS is turning 8 and having a small party with 5 friends. I've bought each a personalised cup and straw from etsy as mentioned above to use at the party and will rinse out and stick some sweets in for them to take home. I did similar last year when he had a sleepover with 2 friends, I got them all a personalised drinks bottle and popcorn cup. Now there are fewer guests i'd rather spend more per person but get something useful rather than party bag tat.

For a climbing party maybe a drink bottle for the kids to use while climbing or a keyring with caribener on may be good.

Flibflobflibflob · 17/09/2024 17:54

I’m looking forward to the end of party bags tbh, I think there will probably be some parents who will happy to see the back of them too. The personalised cups etc are a nice idea, or a chocolate bar.

coodawoodashooda · 17/09/2024 17:55

It's not a party bag, it's actually a fk off bag. It indicates to everyone that they should leave. I'd do a bottle of bubble bath or hot chocolate and a mug.

rzb · 17/09/2024 18:05

The 7th birthday is the last party bags birthday amongst my kids' friendship circles. The general consensus seems to be that once in junior school, they're big kids. Big kids get a slice of cake in a paper napkin to go home with, and get £10-£15 quid cash or gift card as a present.

Wonderfulstuff · 17/09/2024 18:07

Whilst I'd love a book, it is a party bag for a 7/8 year old child so maybe sweets or something a little bit more fun might do the trick.

Although I note I seem to be the odd one out here as I love doing party bags and love seeing the kids excited to receive one.

MizzMarple · 17/09/2024 18:09

My son is in year 4 and has been to a few 9th birthdays already. All of them had party bags. He’d definitely expect them but it might vary by school.

Riapia · 17/09/2024 18:55

Jellybeanbag · 17/09/2024 15:42

No books please.

Kids even at 8 want sweets or something a bit more interesting than a book.

Sounds like you’ll be rated on the contents of the party bag.
Possibility of being down rated by a poor choice. Some kids will want to know what they’ll get before agreeing to attend.
😉😁😁.

sleepyscientist · 17/09/2024 19:32

We stopped doing tat bags at around 5/6 moved into sweet-cones. DS will be 11 this year and I will still do them a sweet-cone to take home.

thesai · 17/09/2024 20:07

Party bags here all through primary years, they stop at secondary. They get more grown up gifts though - lip balms, bath bombs and necklaces.

PMAmostofthetime · 17/09/2024 20:17

@TreeAtMyWindow

The cotton friendship bracelets on a card with a charm on are around £2.50-£3 each on Amazon and will go down well. No need for bags then either.

MillshakePickle · 17/09/2024 20:19

I still do a little bag of sorts for dc year 5. But more age appropriate and not plastic tat something that fits the party theme. Last one, we gave 6 boys a large chocolate bar and a £5 roblox gift card. It sounds expensive but was actually cheaper than making up bags for them. We stuck the card to the chocolate, and it was lovely seeing how surprised and happy they all were.

Last party dc went to he was given a full sized bag of haribo and a bottle of Prime. Not the caffinated one, but I was less than impressed. One party gave out chocolate bars and pokemon cards which the kids were over the moon with.