Third baby and partners paternity leave ending!

[Lefmry]

Hi everyone, as the title suggests we just had our third baby and I’m feeling super anxious of how I’m going to cope when my partner returns to work later this week.

My eldest is 6 so will be at school the majority of the day but I also have a 20 month old who is a literal whirlwind. I had a c section less than 2 weeks a go and although I’m recovering well, I still have some obvious pain. I don’t really have much family I could ask for company/help as my mum lives 5 hours away and all other family members work full time.

Anybody else felt like this when their partner has returned to work? I have felt like it each time and each time have wondered how I’ll cope but with 3 kids I’m starting to doubt my ability to solo parent for 9-10 hours a day 5 days a week! 🥴 I obviously know I’ll manage but right now it feels very daunting.

Need some positive vibes! 😩

Did he not take equal parent leave? Or do not all workplaces offer this?

Ah I feel you. It's not the same but I have a 4 month old who I have been looking after pretty much solely since she was born and my stitches were VERY painful for 3/4 weeks where I wasn't able to sit properly.

My husband isn't present at the moment so it's just me. I have my mum who can look after her for 20/30 mins but mainly it's me as she's a very difficult baby who cries pretty much all day.

But honestly, you'll be fine - it will defiantly be hard to begin with but you'll get the hang of it. Remember your c section scar will get better and you'll feel a lot better in yourself! He'll be home after his day at work so hopefully he'll be able to look after the little ones for a few hours while you take a rest

Routine, lowering expectations and be prepared anything.
I was a single parent to newborn twins and a 4 year old. How I coped:
Everything was layed out the night before,
No one came downstairs unless they were washed and dressed,
Meal times were set time, meal planned every meal, batch cook for the bad days, accept its OK to have beans on toast for tea,
I'd prep tea when we got back from morning school run so when everyone was tired in an evening it just needed plating up.
Always have a nappy bag packed when it gets too much, pop them in pushchair and go for a walk,
Order a weekly supermarket shop (to include all nappies etc),
Bath alternate nights only,
Keep on top of laundry and cleaning by doing one room a day, or one load of washing every other day,
Pop both little ones down after lunch and go to bed yourself,
Somewhere safe to put dc3 down if you need to see to older dc, a sling for dc3 in house so you can get on with things when they don't want to be put down,
Set bed time and then go to bed yourself if needed,
It's just getting through it at the moment, you know you can do it, I remember feeling so other whelmed at the thought of it but you get through it.

Thank you so much, this really helped.

Today I have gone over in my head what I need to prep the night before ready for the next day. He goes back to work tomorrow! 😩

Nappy bag all stocked up, another basket downstairs with nappies in and wipes just in case there’s a poop emergency and the bag is upstairs. Got some things ready to make me an easy lunch so I can eat as I go. Have told myself to get up and make everybody’s beds, open windows for fresh air etc. tbh I do this anyway. Outfit ready for baby and toddler in the morning.

Fingers crossed all goes well! 😖🤞🏻

@CaptainCabinetsTrappedInCabinets

By law all employers offer shared parental leave however my NHS mat pay is brilliant and DH paternity pay is 0 beyond the statutory pay, so we would loose money by taking shared leave.

It does work for some but not everyone.