Acceptable chores for teen girls

[BySassyEagle]

My (14) year old daughter has protested to the recent addition of cleaning the (2) bathrooms in the house to her chore list.

In my opinion at 14 she is more than old enough to clean a whole bathroom and has not really been doing enough chores around the house as it is, though she has been kicking up a fuss and complaining to friends about it and is saying that none of them have to so she shouldn't.

I just wanted to check that I wasn't being unreasonable as she usually isn't this argumentative, I get that it isn't exactly pleasant (particularly as our bathrooms tend to get quite filthy, though I think that is primarily her doing) and was not expecting her to be jumping with glee, but I didn't expect her to actually argue about it (hence why I am making this post).

She's being a princess. Cleaning bathrooms is totally fine for a teen.

Or maybe you reclassify one bathroom as hers and she is expected to keep that one clean. As a compromise.

Depends what else is on the chore list?

When you say "filthy", what do you mean and who is causing it?
What other chores does she have and what other chores do other family members do?

This,

Tell me there aren't boys making them filthy and she's supposed to clean them.

Boy or girl shouldn’t make a difference.

Everyone who is using the toilets (or supervising younger children on them) should be taking responsibility for ensuring they aren’t filthy.

a teenager helping with jobs like cleaning the bathroom is fine. Them being the only one cleaning everyone’s mess not fine.

Chore list - as in a list of jobs that are shared out each week so now sometimes she'll have to take her turn cleaning the bathrooms or chore list as in her list of jobs she has sole responsibility for?

Why does she have to do all the bathrooms? How many other people are there in the household (and how old are they)? How are the other jobs split between people?

If the bathrooms are “filthy” is no one else cleaning them? My Daughter is 14, and at the moment she is expected to tidy her room everyday (usually a 10 minute job before school) do her own dishes (i don’t expect her to do her dinner dishes as i am doing other dishes anyway) hoover her room once a week (she shares with her younger sister so this is taken in turns so basically once a fortnight she does it) and tidy any general mess she makes eg: if she has left her clothes in the bathroom, left pens out after drawing etc i don’t expect any of my kids to clean up after other people in the household, they will have their entire adult life to clean up after other people lol xx

My first question is what else is on the list, and how does this compare to the list of any siblings?

It may not in itself be inappropriate, but if she's doing a gross task for the whole household, and siblings just have to tidy their rooms, that isn't fair.

Yes I think cleaning the bathroom is an acceptable chore for a 14 year old, especially if you think she's the main reason it gets so dirty.

You say they've been added to the chore list - so I guess it depends what else is on the list as to whether overall it's a reasonable expectation.

One problem with that ... they get to adulthood and can't do normal household chores.

I don't think it's a problem as long as everybody else is doing their share. My two sisters and I did lots of chores from a young age and were all annoyed that our brothers got none....because they were boys! I suppose my mother got her just desserts when we three girls left home at a young age and left her with two spoilt, useless young men.

Does she have siblings? Are there two parents in the house?

Maybe it should be a weekly task that alternates with other family members? Cleaning the bathroom is a big task. But you're not unreasonable to ask her to do it in general.

She does do normal household chores, hoovering, dishes, laundry etc ? I just don’t make them do other household members mess xx

I think it is a big task. Cleaning a toilet (i presume there’s a toilet involved) i think is not really suitable for a 14 year old. I teach my 14 year old to use the brush and don’t leave a mess, but really cleaning it is a bit much. I would worry it wouldn’t be done properly and still be unhygienic.

My 14 year old changes his own bed, cleans his room, fills and empties the dishwasher , cleans the kitchen, empties the dustbin, feeds the cats. That is enough to me.

Hmmm no actually I don’t think cleaning the bathroom is actually okay for a younger teen. They’re dealing with bodily fluids not their own, nah.
Reasonable- own room and own washing to and from laundry area eg putting dirty washing to machine or basket and putting away clean/ironed washing. Keeping own room tidy and dish free. Pet care if applicable. Wiping down kitchen top after making own snack etc. Preparing own school bag or hobby stuff and snack and water bottles.
My teen dd also helps with childcare for my older daughter but is paid when this is prolonged/ expected.

I think the main clean of a bathroom shouldn't be done by a 14 year old but mid week quick clean to keep it from getting too filthy is within what a 14 yo could do. Or start encouraging them to do a quick clean after they have used the bathroom so that it stays in a better condition wouldn't be in appropriate

My parents worked long hours when I was that age and my mum had several periods of long term sick. I did a lot of chores around the house - making lunch for everyone, cooking the evening meal, hoovering through out, cleaning the table after dinner, doing the dishes and washing/ironing. I obviously didn't do all of these chores every day/week. School work came first but the rest of the time it was a "see something that needs doing then you do it" approach. I did more during the holidays compared to during the term time.
The main bathroom clean was still done by my mum but I made sure that during the week it wasn't getting too dirty.

For those wondering she is an only child and I also expect her to hoover the living room and stairs once a week, tidy her room (Obviously), and help make one or two meals a month (Purely so she knows how to cook when she's at university)

She does some normal chores as well and I'm fairly sure she is responsible for the messes in the bathrooms, as the bathrooms have been fairly clean until lately so I don't really think I'm asking her to clean up other family member's mess.

Of course a 14 yo can be taught how to clean a bathroom. I expect mine (both girls and boy) to be able to as a teenagers.

In a few years she is a grown up. But if course she won't do it if she can get out of it.

No siblings, just me and her father although he works until very late so he is practically only at home (excluding sleeping) for an hour maximum in the evenings. I used to clean it and if she starts to leave it in a cleaner state I might start to help her with it.

That was precisely my thinking, thanks for answering!

My children would complain as well. I don't blame them. Modern times - but I still expect them to learn basic skills and help running the house.