Worries of being older mum

[Josiekitty]

I’m an older mum of a 17 year old daughter and I am a good 15 years or so older than mums of her friends. Lately she is getting really upset about my age and worrying that I’ll die while she is young. I’m struggling with this worry too. I just wondered if anyone has been though this and could help me support my daughter but also help me to stop worrying so much myself xx

I don’t know how much help this will be but I had my daughter at 41. Years of fertility treatment that failed when I was younger, then 4 miscarriages in my late 30s. She was the only one that survived. I used to worry too and it used to upset me. My daughter is bit younger than yours but my philosophy is that she’s a gift to me and I try to be the best I can for her. As a mum, as a role model and health wise so I can live as long as I can. Sadly people die when they are young, it’s not all about age and I tell myself to make the most of it and make as many memories as possible, turning the mundane into fun and making sure to the best of my ability she knows how loved she is and to impart as many lessons as I can including resilience and common sense and kindness and acceptance on how to deal with things because I know I don’t have as long as most people to do that so that in my absence, as far as I can, that she will be ok when I’m not around. I advocate to her and do it myself not to stay in the fear zone but to live and operate as though we are brave and fearless. Unstoppable and have as much of a good time whilst doing so. It’s good that she is talking to you about this but try not to feed into the fear but rather the elements of that that you can help her with in equipping her to be able to cope practically with life without you in building skills and confidence in a subtle way so that the fear subsides.

Same same. It's not helped by fact that Grandparents who are in 80s are clearly dying Cancer, dementia, physical issues amongst them which is making DD worry about mortality.

I have made point that's another 30 years away for me - which is nearly two times her life span which is ages. And my mother who is 85 is actually very fit and healthy - still doing Pilates and attending book club.

I think best thing you can do is be conspicuously healthy - put the effort in, join a gym do YouTube yoga show her you are doing what you can. Any of us could be hit by a bus tomorrow but you can lower odds on lifestyle diseases.

Has never crossed my mind, but my kids haven’t noticed yet that I am a bit older. Hope this worry passes quickly xx

How old are you OP?

Same - would be nice to hear positive stories. The greatest pain in my life is worrying my daughter x

Wasn't this posted yesterday?

I had my kids at 38 and 40...
Its kinda stupid but i do sometimes feel sad i might never meet my GC and also that i will probably be too old to be able to do a day or 2 a week childcare

Well what can you do? There's no point dwelling on it. I didn't meet my DH til I was 39 and had my kids at 41 and 43. First school I was older parent, but at last school there were plenty who had kids in their 40s.
My DH died at 51. There's no guarantee no matter what age you have your kids.

Doesn't even occur to me and I had my last dc at 40. I'm fitter in my late 50s than I ever was. My mother lived to 93. I can see me being incapable in my 70s. Of course I could be dead. But so could anyone

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you? I’m a left than some of the parents of dc friends but some of them had children very young. Equally, there are some mums who had children at an older age than I was