Regretting Primary School Choice, will I always feel this way?

[Ameliaanna]

DS is in his second year of Primary school, it is walkable to our house, medium sized and he seems to be enjoying it. We were choosing nursery schools during covid so missed out on open days etc so iust chose the one we felt would be a good fit. Now I know of two other schools in the area with better inspection reports, outcomes for tests and seem to have a better budget - newer equipment and facilities. They also after much more variety in terms of after school clubs and groups. I'm feeling annoyed at myself for not researching more and massively regretting my choice of school. Im keen to move my son to one of the othet schools but my DP is set against this and feels it'll be too disruptive to DS who has friends and is settled. I feel kids move all the time and he's only started his second year so the sooner he moves the more time he'll have to adjust. Will I grow to accept the current school or should I push to move him now? Anyone been in a similar situation?

If he's happy then leave him. I have had a child unhappy at school and it brings the whole family down.

Question is have you been to the other school? How many parents there you chat with? What’s their actual views and experiences? If all positive, take your boy there to have a look, file in application form. Kids move all the time. Better to move to better school.

Everyone wants the best for their kids. He's happy, so you've done the best for him. Why worry about what he could have had? You can provide the extra curricular activities yourself if you think he could benefit. As an example, most kids don't learn to be great swimmers with school lessons, those that excel have consistent out of school lessons. Pretty sure it's the same with music, art etc.

We moved our child half way through reception year. This was during covid times as well and we couldn't visit any of the schools when we put our preferences in. You know if your child is unhappy at school, ours changed before our eyes. She was so miserable there, we moved her and in a week she was back to her old self. You say he is happy, to me that's 90% of what school should be about. A happy, thriving child.

He has friends is settled and enjoys it what more do you want

the other school may look better it doesn’t mean it is for him

DS is going to a high school that if you asked me 5 years ago would I send him to I would have laughed and gone no of course not but it is absolutely the right one for him

Yes this is what I am trying to focus on, he is definitely happy and settled, I'd massively regret moving him if he ended up not settling in a new school and missing his friends. I suppose I would like him to get more out of the school and his academic experience, its hard to put it into words but id like him to get every opportunity from a school not just the basic academic experience

But a big part of that is friends. I know my two (now years 7 and 11) their friends are what see them through. DS has been put in high school with 2 friends from primary and it has made the experience for him
Some access clubs and some don’t

I wouldn’t base any decisions on an ofsted report. They are not always accurate or a reflection of life at the school for most children who attend. A child can be taught by different day to day supply staff and/or have a very unstable learning experience at an ‘outstanding’ school and another child could have a great consistent teacher at a school rated RI. Staff and schools can change quickly for various reasons and almost 90% of schools are graded good or outstanding atm - it’s pretty meaningless. The fact your child is happy means they are able to learn and thrive. The data outcomes for reading and writing are more worthwhile and might make be reconsider though…

It might make you feel better to visit the other schools or attend their open days to see you if you feel any different.

He'll be fine - happy child = happy home.

If you have ever had to drag a miserable child to school you would read your OP aghast!

If you are set on moving him it’s worth a phone call to the heads of the other schools to see if there is space for him to move. If they say no, you won’t be able to move your DS to those schools.

Stability and friendships make a really big difference at that age. No matter how good a school report is, you have no control over which kids happen to be in his year group. Something as small as having one bully in the class could make the difference between a good and bad school experience and it's not controlled by school reports.

If he's already in school and happy then I think it's a safer bet to leave him there than to move his school and potentially to somewhere he doesn't make as good friends or feels like an outsider having to make friends again and is more unhappy for it.

Thanks everyone, ive chatted to my DH we agree moving him right now may not be the best option. I did contact one school, who said they had a waiting list he could join so I might do this and then if a space opens up we can see how he is, in a year or two he may not be enjoying the school or maybe ill like the current school more

You can supplement his school education with outside activities. Think carefully about what you feel he's missing out on at his current school and then seek those opportunities at outside classes or groups.

Don't move him if he's happy!