Bawled in front of DD..feel so bad

[Ohdearilostittoday]

Picked her up from school today, she's just started year 2, so was shattered.

We had a slight change of plan and she was disappointed about not seeing a friend after school, and had a full on meltdown..lying on the pavement outside school, with all parents and kids walking past.

I wouldn't mind so much, but she's 6 and I thought we were past that?!
it went on..and on..at one point I just plonked myself down next to her on the pavement, because she couldn't be consoled and I couldnt think what else to do. If I went near her, she lashed out and screamed more..

And then I just snapped. I've been under the weather the last couple of days and I just started crying, big ugly pathetic tears.
In that moment, I felt like the biggest, most abject failure in the world. know that sounds dramatic, but to see all the composed mums walking past, with their smiley children, all happy (most in reception class I might add) just tipped me over the edge.
I had a meltdown and DD was left patting me on the shoulder...telling me to take a deep breath.
Christ. I feel so rubbish. Poor DD.
doesnt help that my period is 4 days late (BFN though), so likely my hormones are screwed, but still. I can't help feeling like I'm fucking her up by being an emotional mess.
I've snapped a couple of times this past week and honestly feel like I'm on the edge..
sorry I don't mean to sound 'poor me', just feel pretty alone right now.

We all have bad days, comes with the territory. Don’t beat yourself up about it.

Just use the weekend to chill, rest and recuperate.

I still shudder at the thought when I went to a playgroup and had a tshirt on inside out .

It might be quite good for her - patting you on the shoulder shows emotional intelligence and this reaction should demonstrate to her that it’s not okay to behave the way she did and it causes upset.

Everyone snaps sometimes- it’s okay xx

That's okay, OP.
It happens to the best of us.
Don't worry about it.

You're human and have emotions. It won't damage DD to know that and her empathy is lovely for six! I hope tomorrow is a better day x

Your daughter saw that Mummy gets upset sometimes but can then pull herself together and recover. And take it as a parenting win that you've taught her how to help someone who is upset - patting and taking deep breaths.

Take care of yourself.

Thanks redtrain and hello, really kind of you both.

oh god Redtrain, I can't think how many times I've worn a top inside out..I'm not the most observant!

will try to rest this weekend, though it's a full on day tomorrow..

I think DD is very emotionally intelligent Hello, I just worry about putting too much on her sometimes..but you're right - I'm some ways it may do her good
x

She must have learned how to comfort you from somewhere and I would make guess that it’s you.
It’s also okay for children to see their parents cry - crying is part of life and healthy expression of emotions and not just for children.
Just talk to her about it and thank her for comforting you and see if you can talk about what might help her the next time her emotions are big and out of control.
Put your feet up tonight and hopefully you can both rest and reset over the weekend.

Thank you the shell, mercurial and dontcry - you all being so kind when I've been beating myself up is honestly helping hugely.

DD is wonderful and is so empathetic, think her meltdown was a mixture of disappointment and tiredness, mine was hormonal.
I guess it is good she sees I'm human and get sad too x

Thank you Baguette we've had little chat earlier and she seems fine now..but that's a good idea to chat to her a bit more about her big emotions ❤

This is good for her. She’s learning that other people have feelings too and her actions have affects on others. Hope you feel better soon

Thank you Mimi, that makes sense. I just felt so rotten at the time not being strong and calm for her. But I can see that in many ways it is good for her..

Deep breath, tomorrow is another day!

I understand mum guilt is strong. I’ve felt guilt for crying/shouting in the past. But we are human with emotions, it’s good for children to learn this and how to navigate relationships

Oh believe me, most, if not all of us have been there on more than one occasion! Our DC is ND so there have been a lot of instances. One of the most difficult was in a park with a friend and they had a meltdown, full on hitting, screaming, throwing on floor. I was already exhausted and and just crumpled on a bench and sobbed and sobbed! I was so beside myself, if anyone had said anything to me I would have gone ballistic, and that's not me, I get embarrassed and don't like confrontation but in that moment I didn't care. Me and DC went home, cried all the way back, when in and DH was 'wtf'! I could barely speak and said just take over and went to cry some more upstairs...

God yes, mum guilt is intense..
I didn't have very helpful role models (dealing with emotions and expressing them) so I second guess myself a lot, and don't always have confidence in my parenting abilities..

But I'm feeling much calmer and relaxed now, and DD seemed much happier, so it's not all bad, not at all
x

This.

I'm impressed that your DD was looking after you.

Oh beautiful, I feel for you, that sounds just like me.
I suspect slight ND with DD (and me actually) and I completely relate to -in that moment- not caring as you cry. That was definitely me this afternoon, big heaving sobs. By that point most parents and kids had gone, but still.
thank you for sharing and for making me feel more 'normal'! ❤

Thank you dizzy, me too

Honestly op I've got a few similar stories to tell up my sleeve (kids are 2 and 6). Only last week I was a weepy mess at toddler group because I'd damaged my car.

Had a memorable night about a year ago when I was all alone and eldest wouldn't get ready for bed and I hid in my room and just cried and cried.

Most of the time I'm a happy, calm, normal mum but we all have our moments don't we. Tomorrow is another day

Thanks bakewell, the emotions catch me off guard sometimes..one minute feeling normalish, the next minute I'm an uncontrollable sobbing mess (in public).
But it sounds like, from all the kind posters, that actually, it's not that unusual! Parenting is tiring..and hard.
I was seriously questioning my sanity and mental stability this afternoon, this thread had reassured me no end that I've not completely lost the plot.

Hope you were alright after toddler group with the car
x

Every mother there has had days like that don't beat yourself up you are doing your best x

Your daughter was behaving like a spoilt brat but then she went into grown up mode when she saw mummy upset. That means that you thought your daughter empathy and kindness despite the tantrum she had the strength to pull herself together for you and to comfort you. Pat yourself on the back for that one, you raised a good one! You are a good mother, and don't get fooled by the composed mothers going past all smiley and happy. I bet my life savings that all of them have been there at least once at some point and can empathise with you.