Baby won’t sleep unless held

[Hann376]

our newborn (5 days) won’t sleep unless she is being held / leant up against one of us.

everytime I try putting her in her moses basket she cries pretty quickly or even if I wait until after a feed and she’s asleep as soon as I put her down she’ll wake up after a couple of minutes and screams.

is this normal?? I knew lack of sleep would be difficult but I assumed baby would at least sleep in their cot until they needed feeding / nappy change.

does anyone have advice for getting them to sleep in a crib ?? How long does this normally last? I’m terrified she’ll never be able to sleep unless held

Oh OP, I feel for you. This stage is really hard! Yes, this does sound normal to me. Just keep trying to put her down and eventually it will work. In the meantime, is your partner off work on paternity leave? Take turns to sleep.

Completely normal.

Swaddle.

15 minutes of walking her - until asleep, then 8 to 10 minutes sitting with her then basket, if you're already going from sitting to bed and she's waking from that, I'd reccomend a bouncer to soothe her.

Either way - yes it will improve

I've been there with both my kids. 1st son we had to bed share for the first 6 months and with my second son the first 3 months before they'd sleep in there next to me. It's the only way any of us got some sleep.
Here's a link to the lullaby trust website that has all the ways to co sleep safely if your interested.
Good luck and congratulations :)
https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

Completely normal - your baby has excellent survival instincts and knows she needs to stay close to mum or another safe adult!

Also completely exhausting - I remember those days and really feel for you.

It will get better but for now she's ensuring her survival in the most fundamental way, by pure instinct. This is one of those 'takes a village' times that people talk about because when babies were born in tight knit little communities, everyone could share the carrying of the sleeping baby.

Agree with trying to wait longer to put her down so she's in a deeper stage of sleep. Or see if she'll nap in a moving bouncer with your hand resting on her fairly heavily so she knows you're still there. Or see if you can rope in a friend or family member to hold her for a nap as often as possible so you can lie down and have a sleep too.

Normal for little ones. If you need a break, you can transition them from arms to crib without them noticing when they're drifting off. You pat their bum and rock them in a rhythmic motion and then as they drift off you slowly put them down. Keep patting their bum when they're down and gradually ease off when they're asleep. You have to practise a bit but it works.

Totally normal! And totally get how hard this is. We spent months figuring out ways.
the next to me crib was a huge space too for a little baby.
try different swaddles? We eventually managed with sleeping bags but we would have to hold for a good 20-30 mins for him to really fall asleep. Then lean into the crib for a few seconds.. slowly move away. But this was weeks and months into it. It’s so hard but it will get better

💯 this. I realised after having a baby why people lived in caves and villages, it all suddenly made sense. I used to sleep with the baby while DH watched TV it gave us both a solid stint

Agree with previous posters that this is totally normal and also not something people tend to warn you about before you have your baby! My baby was exactly the same. The first few weeks I hate to say I barely slept (baby is EBF) my partner had to go downstairs with baby early morning just so I could get an hour or two of sleep until the next feed. A couple of weeks in we bought a love to dream swaddle bag and it was a complete game changer and the best money we spent 😅 not cheap but you can pick them up on Vinted for around £20. The tommee tippee ones we also used. She still wouldn’t really go down to sleep in the day for naps to be honest, but would at least sleep in her crib during the night so I could get (some!) rest too. Now we co sleep for most of the night following the lullaby trust safe sleep guidelines ☺️

This

You're baby is boxfresh.

Swaddling can help.

When you can, i would start "training" your baby to sleep in the pram - its not really training but its means you can get out and what not rather than be uncomfortably trapped under the baby for hours

I did this with my second and it made things easier

This is normal. She slept for 9 months curled up in a ball on a surface that wasn’t flat or as cold as a cot.

She’s currently in her fourth trimester and trying to adjust from the womb to the outside world. The outside world is loud, bright and cold compared to the world that she was used to in your womb and you can help her by trying to recreate that womb feeling by swaddling or using slings during daytime like women in developing countries who have a million and one jobs to get on with while looking after baby.

How are you getting on @Hann376? DS is four days old and sounds very similar.

A little better we keep trying to put her down in her crib when she is in a deep sleep (waiting 30 mins after a feed) and sometimes she will stay down for an hour or so but sometimes realises after 10 mins and wakes up and cries ! We bought some swaddle sacks for nightime off Amazon and that seems to help settle her for a bit longer sometimes so you could try those :) good luck!