Breastfeeding to sleep

[Goldwhisper]

9 m/o is completely reliant on breastfeeding to get to sleep and wakes multiple times a night wanting to be fed back to sleep every time. Has anyone been in this position and managed to change routine without just plain refusing to feed?

Yes, this was my baby between 6-8 months - I was up at least 6-12 times a night and absolutely broken.

I was sleep training during the day, but my guide said don't do it at night (and I was too tired for it!)

When he first woke, I went in and turned on the white noise then would slowly pat his tummy in time with Ewan the Sheep's heartbeat. If he was really upset I'd also shush him gently.

If this didn't help him drift off after a GOOD 5-10 min, I'd pick him up and gently rock him up and down in time with Ewan's heartbeat. Again, given it a good 5-10 minutes.

If that didn't work I'd feed to sleep. Did this at every single wake for like a week, and then he was sleeping through.

Good luck x It's hard work!

It’s totally biologically normal. Breastfeeding back to sleep is likely to be quickest way to help baby and you nod off again too. Breastfeeding at night releases sleepy endorphins in both mother and baby. Would you be open to co-sleeping? You both tend to stay half asleep then.

I think at this age it’s hard because they wake hungry and do need feeds during the night. There will come a time when they don’t and you just cuddle to settle them. Mine stopped feeding to sleep around 15 months and it was no big deal.

I am in exactly this situation. We co-sleep so I am just about managing to survive but it's driving me insane. Some nights I feel like I have to feed him every hour (sometime he just latches on and suckles for a few minutes rather than a proper feed). Also by the time it gets to about 4am he sleeps so lightly that I usually can't get back to sleep after feeding him because if I move he wakes up then we have to get up. So I lie there in bed uncomfortable and awake because at least it's better than being up😩. We usually end up getting up somewhere between 5am and 6:30am.

I haven't been out in the evening for a year (I appreciate this is not unusual) because my OH can't out the baby to sleep (or get him back to sleep if he wakes up, which he sometimes does an hour after I put him down). I think I'll give it a couple more months until he's 1 and then try and wean him off the night feeds.

Sorry I can't help.... you have my solidarity though

You could try breaking the latch before he goes to sleep fully. So he's going to sleep without nipple in mouth. If he fusses, he has it back but then break latch again. Unfortunately this does require you being awake and fairly lucid!

Babies associate feeding with sleep and protest if the boob isn't there as they think they need that to sleep, just like we need a duvet and pillows. You can show them they can sleep a different way, but you need to persevere long enough to break the habit.

At 18 months dd still feeds to sleep but has stopped waking up so often. She wakes up just once a night now and settles quickly.

So glad im/we are not the only ones, my little girl is 8 months and feeds to sleep atleast 8+ times a night, in the day she can/has fallen to sleep without feeding but at night im just too tired, she gets boob she falls back to sleep 9/10 i fall back to sleep, ive moved her cotbed and taken the side off so its right up next to my bed so if i am awake when she comes off i can just slide her over, she has also rolled/crawled over into her cot before too, it definitely helps settle her better being next to my bed, she used to cry every time i put her in her cot but now even if she stirs she just rolls over and goes back to sleep xx

Yes, it was a nightmare. I just did it and often fell asleep myself with her on my lap in the nursery chair (very elegant waking up with one boob out slightly dazed and confused!). I eventually stuck plasters over my nipples and said I’d hurt myself so no milk and after 2 weeks of asking she was weaned! She was about 18m by that point and only had milk at night.
currently expecting baby no2, I aim on breastfeeding for a few weeks before pumping and using bottles. I constant attachment was just draining so I’m avoiding it this time round!

Yes my DD was the same, I thought I had put myself in a neverending cycle of bfeeding to sleep but I continued because it was a) easy and b) wanted to follow her lead. Things have naturally progressed and when she was about 18 months I stopped bfeeding her and she quickly came out of the habit, only took 2-3 days. Seems never ending when you are doing it but it shall pass, don’t worry about creating a habit, they continously change as they grow.
good luck!

Both of mine I used a gradual retreat method. First I added other sleep associations like bum tapping and white noises along with the bf. Then I popped them off the boob shortly before they fell asleep and did less and less breast feeding gradually until I replaced it with just the other associations. My DD had a dummy for a week or so, my DS wouldn't entertain it. I then did gradually less and less until they were falling asleep beside me with no bum tap or shh, then crept across the floor and out the door. As soon as I wasn't in the room my DD went from waking every 45 mins to only once a night. It didn't make a blind bit of difference for DS. He went on waking regardless... but I never followed the same pattern for overnight feeds so that may have been my error. I didn't go back to feeding to sleep but I did tap his bum because I didn't like to leave him distressed to fall asleep when it was making no difference to wakes. He just improved spontaneously overnight at 14 months when he finally learnt how to roll onto his belly. He must have felt like a tortoise on its back.