Advice needed

[SHEENA1]

Hi I have 2 dc dd age 2 and ds age 8 weeks
my health visitor has told me i should be takin my dd to toddler group my my confidence is so low i dont think i could walk in a room full of people i dont know and there is no one that can come with me cause my friends lve miles away can anyone suggest how i go about how i could overcome this I also hve just been diagnosed with PND for the 2nd time . hv says i should grab the bull by the horns and just go but i am too scared

please help i dont want my dd missing out just because her mummy is a big scardy cat

Don't be scared of toddler groups. You won't be put on the spot- in fact you may just find that you chase after your DD most of the time and bump into some other alright mums at the same time. Most people will be doing just what you are.

I'm sorry that your confidence is low but you may feel better for accomplishing something new. It sounds like the HV was a bit abrupt. I hope you are getting good treatment for PND. I have friends who have suffered and I know it's a big thing to overcome but you will. And don't blame yourself!

what is the worst thing that could happen? how bad is that? it's a toddler group, the worst is that DD hates it in which case you can just go home. What is it you are really scared could happen? if it did, how could you cope with it?

DD might just LOVE it! how cool and good would that be? and you might meet someone you like there, how doubly cool would that be too?

first time, just plan to go for 15 minutes - give yourself permission to leave if you want to. It's OK!

and nobody HAS to go to toddler group - it's not a law - they mostly do it for fun and because they like it, so you may be missing something really good

when i had pnd i had an offer from my health visitor to take me to a toddler group ,so why dont you ask her if she wouldnt mind,it is daunting the first time but you have one big thing in common with these poeole and thats that you all have kids,so it gives you a starting point from which you could create a conversation,start like this "hi ,how old is your baby" is usually a good ice breaker.
i also had pnd and literally dragged my behind to the toddler group each week .it provided me with that adult company i so badly needed.
let us know if you manage to go.good luck

Hi Sheena1. When I had DS1, I didn't have any friends with children, so for a year I was pretty isolated at home. When he was 15 months I gathered all my courage and went to a toddler group on my own. Best thing I ever did. I have more friends now than I have ever had in my life, both from this group and others I attended subsequently. Despite both my DC's now being at school , I still see many of the mums I met, on a regular basis.

Points I would make are

1. Don't worry about your DD missing out. IMO the main benefit of toddler groups is to get the mums out of the house. Esp helpful when PND involved. Toddlers don't usually play "with" one-another, although they do like to play alongside each other. 2)Going on your own is actually a benefit. All the friends I made were other mums who had also gone one their own. Those that went with friends tended to stay with their little clique and not mix that much. 3)Phone the leader before hand and explain how you feel. They know, they probably set up the group because they saw a need, having felt exactly the same way you do .She will then make sure you are introduced to a few friendly faces on your first visit, which goes a long way. 4)If you don't enjoy your first time, have another go. If you still don't like it try another group, the level of friendliness does vary a lot.
2. You might like to try an activity group, rather than a straight toddler group e.g messy play, music. That way you are occupied with your DC's, so you don;t feel so out of it if you're not constantly chatting with other mums. 6)I eventually gave myself a stern talking to and said right what's the worst thing that can happen and decided, I would simply leave, or not go back if it was that bad.

I hope this helps. Going the first time on my own was one of the bravest things I've ever done, but I am so glad. I did I'm not sure I would have survived the first year of DS2's life without it.

Don't feel silly. When I had my daughter I was a recluse for a long time. Too scared to leave the house. For a period of several months all my daughter and I did was sit in the front room watching re-runs of Sabrina the Teenaged Witch on the Nickelodeon channel.

I'll second, third and fourth what others have said. When you make the step (in your own time) you will probably be absolutely fine and if you're anything like I was you'll find it something of a lifesaver.

Good luck!

Hi thankyou all for ur advice i was talking to a girl along the road with dc same age as my dd so i think she is going to go with me on wednesday plus was told yesterday my dd has been accepted to get into nursery in a few weeks so its all good

THankyou all again ur advice has helped so much i relise i have no need to be scared think its a confidence thing as i dont really have any