Do you have written up 'family rules' or a 'family contract'?

[Mo2]

DH & I both work full-time, so share most of the parenting stuff of our two DSs (aged 5 and 2.5). Over the Christmas break it's become clear to us that at times we are pretty inconsistent between us about some of our 'rules' and behaviour expectations, and also any punishments for naughty behaviour are fairly ad hoc, random and depend on what's going on at the time.

Sort of things we mean are:

• eating at table together - is it OK to leave once you've finished, but not others
• how long is OK for DS1 to spend in the computer/ his gameboy/ watching TV etc
• how much 'playfighting' is OK - when is it time to call time and stop etc.
• how much we allow the kids to 'trash' our living room (building piles of cushions in floor etc)

We've come to the conclusion that it might work better for us & DS1 in particular if we drew up a family 'contract' for both him and us.

I can imagine this might seem a bit formal/ weird to some people, but I've also heard anecdotally that this has worked for some families (especially popular in the US?)

Just wondered if anyone had any experience/ ideas, or had been through any similar evaluation of their 'rules' ?

From what I've read, kids who are involved in drawing up rules, tend to be more draconian in their expectations and sanctions than adults! The adults have to actually temper the kid's Attila-like approach to discipline, with a more realistic list of appropriate behaviour and punishments.

We don't have drawn up rules (yet) but just expectations. I may consider the written ones when they're older (DS is 5.5, DD is 3). It looks like it works for lots of people.

We do have some rules but they are not written down. In generall they are like roisins. But we do have some specific ones like not going on the computer untill homework is done, unless of course they have to use it for homework. We do not expect them to come straight in from school and do home work. That would de awful for my youngest DD as she is dyspraxic and needs to rest. They have a snack watch TV or read.