Pre school dramas

[testy1997]

My daughter is not settling at pre school. She has always been at a childminder and recently started pre school and isn't happy going. She looks sad and cries every time i leave.

Can anyone help with advice on settling her in and making the adjustment better? Keeping her at home, with the childminder or a nanny isn't an option and we don't really need to make it work.

My mum guilt is eating me up.

Just keep going and spend lots of lovely time with her when you get home. It will take quite awhile to adjust.

Mine were both in nursery from 9 months, but when we started school (at 4), I’d say it took til winter term (after Christmas) for it to get easier. It’s just an adjustment to a new routine. They are much more resilient than we give them credit for, so just keep doing what you’re doing.

Ex preschool teacher here. Be very breezy, talk about the lovely toys, her friends, the teachers, in a very positive way. ALL the time. When you drop her, tell her how much fun she will have, and don't linger. The longer the goodbye takes, the more she will worry. She needs to be absolutely sure that you are happy and excited for her to have fun away from you, and you will see her "after story time" or whatever the last thing on her schedule is. Be one of the first parents to collect at the end, and be excited and happy to see her, not a big dramatic emotional thing, but very upbeat and cheerful. Honestly, in all my years, we never had a child fail to settle very quickly. Even the really dramatic ones, who cried a lot at drop off, invariably were fine within minutes when the parent left, and they were busy and engaged with their play. It's hard on you, but it will be fine!

Thank you both. Both really really helpful
Bits of advice. I hadn't appreciated me running in for a hug and wiping my tears at pick up would be the wrong thing to do so will definitely take the breezy approach.

I agree with the breezy approach. My very shy DD gets a quick bye, have a lovely day. Anything more and the eyes full up and she clings on. She always has the best day once she's in. How many days does she go? I find the more the better in terms of settling in.

She's doing two days to begin and next term up to four days. Not sure if this is a mistake but the pre school were fine with the approach so let's see!

You see this all the time. This week I’ve seen loads of little ones crying at drop off Both mine would cry at drop offs as well. As above you have to be super breezy. I always bring snacks to pick up so I’ll talk about which snacks I’m bringing back. I ask her to do my picture while she’s there and I can’t wait to see it later…

That's really wise, kind advice.

As an experienced Reception class teacher, I'd have said exactly the same thing. Easy & Breezy is the key to success!
"Bye darling! Have a lovely day! See you later!"