Someone please stop me walking out on my children (v long & ranty)

[Twominutes]

I have flu dp has gone to work I have basically locked myself in the living room with our youngest who is asleep

We have 5 dc eldest is almost 11 and youngest is 2 and they eldest two hate each other all they have do every weekend is argue and hurt each other I have tried everything and I really think I am going to lose it today .
DS (the eldest) is so sulky and agresive towards the others he is the perfect child if everything is going his own way but turns into a monster if not he is top of his class at school and behaves so well there but he thinks he is another adult in the house who gets a say over the girls and it's not like he is cooped up all day he has been out with his friends until 2pm playing football.

DD has dyspraxia and is very confrontational and wears you down with sniping and saying awful things to you she lashes out a lot too.

The three LO's 7 ,5 and 2 are good but get caught up in the older ones fights and then are crying or fighting back

I know I have just made myself like an awful mother but feel liek crap and I keep seeing myself just getting up and getting on a train I had really big hopes of been a good mum and now I feel like a faliure ,I just feel as though I am in a big pit and can't get out .

Somebody please tell me what to do to
just make them stop before I completley lose it

Sorry- I only have 1, teeny too.

Just don't want you to feel alone.

Oh you poor thing. You are not a crap Mum, you're doing a great job. Mybe get some earplugs??? good luck

what age are the two oldest?
time for a grown up chat around table and announce pocket money will now be 'earned' in line with good behaviour/chores done to help you?

you're not a crap mum, we all have times where we feel overwhelmed and speaking personally just having the flu would have done it for me never mind the 5 kids and arguments

You have flu and you're dealing with 5 kids on your own? Firstly congratulate yourself for staying sane, and stop beating yourself up for struggling to cope with what sounds like a nightmare. No-one else in the world would be coping with the day you're having well. I have 4 and that can be hard enough with the constant demands, but mine are older - seems to me you're doing incredibly well.

I think you need to think about whether you're depressed or whether you're just having a shit few days because of the flu etc. But you can't do that until you've GOT BETTER so focus on that over the next couple of days. So just indulge the kids - put a DVD on, or watch Dr WHo again on demand or whatever, sit together, tell them firmly that you are ILL and you expect them to look after you for a bit. Tomorrow get DP home and explain to him exactly how you're feeling - sometimes they need the blindingly obvious pointing out to them.

PS - Your DS1 sounds just like my DD. SHe's 18 now and has started to be nice again a couple of years ago- there is light at the end of the tunnel, I promise - it's just a maturity thing.

Can you call in any favours with friends/neighbours/relatives just to get you through the weekend whilst you're feeling ill? Phone someone and ask if they can have 1 or more of your children for a few hours (divide and conquer!)

Then, when you're feeling better sit down and plan the way forward along the lines of what dizzydixies said. Make sure your DP is involved -they're his kids too.

Thankyou everyone ,the eldest two are 10 and 8 but my 8 year old has the maturity of a 5 year old ,and my ds finds it hard that soemtimes she seems to get away with more then him, It's not that though she just soemtimes genuinley can not control herself.

I have been feeling down for a coupleof months now and have started hibernating and stopped looking in the mirror and just basically feeling detached I know it's probably depression starting I had it a few years ago and was on ad for a while-

Dp has been great but we can not afford for him to take a day off I think I am just going to put some crap on TV and feed them all biscuits .

Thanks again everyone

Our families are rubbish Betty my dad has rung up to see how I am but him and my mum are sat in their house less then ten minutes away and wouldn't even consider helping and if I asked I would never hear the end of it .

My mil has just got off the phone to me after telling me how shocking I sound but didn't ask if I needed any help.

twominutes it sounds as if this goes a bit deeper than them being a PITA today and you being ill, if you realise you're feeling down then maybe its time to take something for you? a trip to gp or wee pamper/new hair do etc

Twomins. Sorry, can't say anything to help. But I know sort of how you feel. I only have three, but ds1 (9) is stroppy and confrontational and ds2 (6) has dyspraxia and the two of them together are a nightmare. Now the holidays are coming to an end I am going to spend the next 8 wks dreading the 8 wks after that. I don't know what the answer is, or even if there is one, but it's shite, isn't it?

It is shite my dd with dyspraxia just gets so venemous sometimes .

They have calmed down now and are building a tent

My dp wants me to mention about how down I am feeling to the gp but it's making that step I know I need to I just feel crappy about it though

am glad to her you have a supportive dp through all this too

Can I ask you... has your dd had any treatment at all for her dyspraxia? My ds2 has justs started a course of OT but I really can't see how it will help things. The thing that stands out about him is that, although his assessment showed all the "physical" problems (you know, the balance and the sensory stuff, all that) you don't notice that in his day to day life in the way that many people assume you do. People think that they're slow walking/clumsy/ physically inept somehow, but in fact ds' problems manifest themselves solely in his behaviour - ADL (aspects of daily living). I think it's basically because he completely avoids all areas where he feels inadequate, so you just don't notice the inadequacies. It's very, very difficult to deal with, but undoubtedly the source of his frustration and in particular his anger with his brother for being so able, physically. I just don't see how we can move forwards at all and I wonder if you have, at any point, moved forwards.

My dd has had her OT assesment and we are waiting for her therapist to go into school to "observe" but these things take so long.
School have been of the opinion that she was just a naughty child and it has been a long battle for me to get dr's and teachers to realise that something was wrong.
I do feel as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel as it is just so hard especially when she sees her two younger sisters doing beter then her at things .
She is very clumsy but has obsessive things like constantly tidying her bedroom .

A day dosen't go by where we don't have a battle she has me in tears most days but then she can be so loving to me she hits out at me the most but shows me the most affection too.

I don't think enough is done for children with dyspraxia it's just so hard .
I too don't know what to do next every day just keeps getting harder

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