When your DC asks you a question

[grouchyoscar]

I have MS and in the past year I have begun to walk with a stick, mostly for security as I can walk like I've just fallen out of a pub.

DS (4.75) asked my 'why do you have a walking stick?'. It's the 1st time he has ever asked about it. I was straight with him, explained I have an illness and sometimes my legs stop working as my brain doesn't talk to them properly and my legs don't talk to my brain properly either. He said 'My brain talks to my legs and that is good'

Bless him. It must be weird for him. I questioned why he asked and he said 'I just wondered.'

I don't want him to see me as an ill person, just someone who needs extra help in some circumstances. Anyone else experienced a simmilar set of circumstances and how did you handle it?

My children often ask me questions about my illness. They see me laid up for days on end and in hospital a lot so ask things like 'why don't your lungs work like a normal mummys?' (breaks my heart when they say stuff like that). I just try to be as honest as I can, telling them that my lungs have scars on them and holes in them that were caused when I was a little baby and had pneumonia, that they don't heal up like normal scars do and that that is why sometimes I get poorly. They have in the past said things like will it happen to them as well, I have said that no, it is not something that is likely to happen to them, only a few people get it. They do get very concerned, my daughter especially (she is 7) and she has asked me if I will die before she is grown up. I have struggled with this one but said that hopefully not, it is likely I will carry on a long time yet!

Not wanting them to see me as an ill person - yes I do so relate. I really struggle with them thinking of me as a mummy who can't do what other mummies can, and yet this is the way it is. I think being honest is the only way - they will see through it if you are not being - and will appreciate it in the end. Also showing them that despite your limitations you have a positive attitude and do what you can do, embracing life anyway. I think this can be a great example to them. I have often worried that I don't do enough with them because of my health, but people have pointed out to me that they know that I love them, they are caring, thoughtful children and that they have a different perspective on life because of the circumstances we face as a family together, that can actually be a really positive thing.