How do self employed parents manage getting back to work?

[nizo1245]

Probably something I should have planned a bit better for, but keen to hear any and all recommendations!

I'm self employed and baby is 8 months.

I need to start earning more money, cost of living crisis and all that...

We started Nursery at 7 months but after a bump to the head on day 2 and a sickness bug on week 2, we've decided we maybe jumped the gun a bit sending him too early and we're not continuing with our nursery place.
I know it's the only option for some people, but all my research tells me that it's not an ideal childcare setting for such a young baby so now I've got major mum guilt and I don't think I'd be comfortable trying another nursery until he's at least a year old. Obviously only a few months away, but I've got a lot of client work to fulfil in that time that I'm really struggling to get done now.

Childminder could be an option but I worry about car seat safety - it's the minefield I didn't know existed until recently, but we're dead set on keeping him rear facing for as long as possible and I worry he would end up in a forward facing seat for car journeys.

Grandparents still work so that's not an option.

Am I resigned to DH and I living separate lives for a while so I can do my work at weekends, or does anybody have any amazing suggestions that I haven't thought of?

Thanks in advance!

Honestly, you find childcare and you get back to work, no different from employed parents, except you have the benefit of flexibility in managing your time and workload.

Financially, it could be advantageous to stagger your working times to save on childcare costs. But a minor injury and a tummy bug aren’t unusual with a baby/toddler in childcare, so it may be more a matter of managing your anxiety about it (it won’t get easier at 12 months really).

Does your dh have some AL or parental leave he could use to allow you some time to start back to work? I think it’s fine to use evenings and weekends, but it gets tiring quickly as you never get time to yourself or family time together.

I'm self employed and went back at 11 months with my child in nursery. As the previous poster said the first bit of nursery is rough whenever you do it - sickness bugs seem part of the deal. It was hard at first but I enjoy the balance in the end.

To be honest, if you've given up your nursery place and you need something now, you may not have many options – in many places, childminders and nurseries are booked up months in advance.

Have you still got the nursery spot for when he's one? If not, you may need to get his name down pretty quickly.

In terms of other options to muddle through for a few months – DH takes some annual leave, use a baby sitter to get a couple of blocks of time during the week, maybe a college student looking for experience.

A nanny?

Someone I know who was SE went back at 2 weeks. Juggled between DPs and In-laws until the DC was 6 weeks and could go to nursery.

I'm self employed. I worked in the evenings before DD went to nursery at 2, then in evenings and nursery time as she wasn't doing many hours at first. It's knackering and you don't spend much time with your partner, but it's an option.

The childminder/ car seat thing is odd and just sounds like an excuse. Just ask when you go to visit? I am a cm and rear face my little ones.

The start of nursery is rough for sickness, I don’t know if it’s the same for CM. It makes the transition to school easier though as they’ve already built their immunity.
My CM didn’t even drive anyway. Some don’t drive their children about depending who they have where they go, I see a lot round me walking their kids to and from playgroups.

Thanks. You're probably right, I do need to manage my anxiety around it but we just decided that 7 months was probably a bit too early to be putting him in a position of getting minor injuries and tummy bugs.

He used up a fair bit of annual leave at the start of the year when DS was born and has time off booked for November so is a little limited on time off available.

I think I just need to suck up the fact that I'll have to work evenings and weekends and just find a way to be productive.

Thanks, glad to hear it's going well for you now!
It might be that we try Nursery again when he's a few months older. We're lucky that we're in a relatively rural area so we don't need to be on waiting lists for months to get a place.

We're lucky that we're not in a city or over populated area so could get back to nursery quite quickly when we decide the time is right.

Thanks for the suggestions though, babysitter could be a good shout. Hadn't thought of that.

Hire a mother's help. They come to the house and keep an eye on the child why you are there. They aren't qualified to care for the child in your absence, as a nanny would be, but they might take him for a turn around the park like a babysitter might.

Work out what his nap times are and book a mother's help for his liveliest hours, so you can work through those and then work again while he naps. And don't try to go back full time. 15-20 hours a week is realistic at first.

I think that's what I'm going to need to do.

I'm not the most productive in the evenings but need to find a way to switch into work mode.

Thanks for responding, it's good to know other people have made it work that way.

Yeah, I have heard that about the school transition. I'm totally on board with the fact that he'll pick up sickness bugs etc. I know it's part of the whole process.
I just think maybe 7-8 months is maybe a bit too young to be putting his immune system under that kind of pressure. Should have probably thought of that before we went ahead with his nursery place in the first instance but we live and learn.

Good point about CMs though, I think I'll start making contact with some local CMs.

Thanks, it's definitely a question on the list for discussions with childminders if that's the route we go down.

I'm not sure what you mean by excuse though? It's just a worry I have in the back of my mind. Of the childminders I know friends/family have used they generally forward face all kids as soon as they can.
Obviously a discussion to have with potential CMs when the time comes.

Thanks for your input.

I didn't even know this was a thing! Thanks, I'll look into it.