2.5yr Age Gap - Am I gonna die?

[anxietymum0]

Im 7 weeks pregnant with a 19month old son, so when new baby here there will be 27 months between then (just short of 2.5yrs)

my anxieties with this is that

1. current my son cannot talk, he can babble and points/pulls us for things he wants but he doesn’t understand much and he can’t explain his feelings etc because of the no speech.
2. I live on the 3rd floor of a flat block and the only way up and down is steps, I would struggle get out alone with a double pram & 2 kiddies
3. my son currently gets so jealous when I hold other kids a similar age to him, he also doesn’t like it much when a adult would sit between my legs as to put french braids within hair.

the positives from the situation is that my son plays super independently at the moment, he is more than happy with the cars movie on telly and playing with his 50 odd hot wheels. He is semi independent at going to bed on a night, we just lay him in his toddler bed with his bottle of milk, dummy and blankets and he will put himself to sleep. My son is a super good walker and for a 1 year old he can walk a distance that his 6 year old uncle struggles with, but he does have listening issues (I never knew a child to be so ignorant until him lol)

Does anyone have any experience in similar situations?? My big worry is my son feeling replaced and being unable to communicate with him. A lot can change in 9 months

I have a 22 month gap and for the first 6 months we were on the 2nd floor with no lift.

We were able to store the pram in a cupboard downstairs which made all the difference. We had a good double, the Mountain Buggy Duet. On days when DS was refusing to walk up and down the stairs I used to take DD in the carrycot attachment to first landing, go back for DS, run up two flights with him, go back to middle for DD.

Apart from that it was fine really. As you say loads can change before the baby arrives. You don't mention a partner
If you have one he is hopefully a good one. Once DD was born everything at night for DS was DH's job. I was bfing the baby so all the toddler night wakings weren't anything I got involved in.

Congratulations! I have exactly the same age gap.

Firstly you will be amazed at how quickly their speech and understanding explodes between now and 2.5 so don't worry about that. Start preparing him as early as you're comfortable about the new baby. Closer to babys arrival start talking about what will happen when the baby comes. I.e baby will drink lots of milk from (mummy's boobies or bottle) and I'll have to hold the baby lots but when baby is sleeping we can have cuddles/play games etc.

DD1 also screamed blue murder when I held her baby cousin. As baby cousin got older we practiced sharing my lap, and let her hold baby cousin as well and she quickly got used to 'sharing' me. So keep up the exposure to you get babies! We also had a baby doll at home that we practiced with.

I'm not going to lie, it's been very difficult at times. 2.5 is a difficult age anyway without a new baby being thrown into the mix but you'll get through and seeing them grow up and love each other is the best thing. (Mine are 10 months and just over 3 now so still very much in the thick of it)

Other than the 3rd floor bit you're describing a pretty normal situation, what makes you think you'll die? Do you have health anxiety?

You will be fine! I have 2 years, 3 months between mine. Slings are a godsend - can pop baby in and still have hands free to deal with toddler. I never did a double buggy - at start had baby in sling and older one in buggy then once baby got bigger, older one could walk/ride on buggy board. Mine are 14 and 12 now and are still close.

Younger one is also entertained by older so could often pop him in a bouncer chair or similar while I played with the older and he was quite happy.

I think by 2.5 he will be so much more grown up than 19 months & can really be included in looking after the new baby! You can spoil him with what a good big brother he is and how much baby loves cuddles with him etc. Defo prepare him as much as possible but in a really positive way (rather than "mummy won't cuddle you as much when baby gets here", something like "when the baby gets here, he or she will need lots of cuddles and bottles. will you be able to be very grown up and help with that?").
Best of luck OP. It'll be wonderful x

It's quite a fashionable age gap now and most people manage just fine. The stairs sound like a bit of a nightmare but you'll work out a solution. I lived in 3rd floor flat when mine were small but we had a lift, and it was a real struggle when it broke down. I suppose you might have to avoid a double buggy as they're very heavy to life and could be difficult to get around the landings. Maybe use a carrier instead. I know mine at 2.5 wouldn't have been great on a buggy board as she liked to run off, I really needed to strap her down to stop running into the road.