Second hand smoke

[dec20]

My fiancés side of the family all smoke and I'm really apprehensive to have my baby around them when she's here!

I've read you should ask them to change their clothes etc but I feel they would see this as me being ridiculous. Also his mother has smoked with every child and they've been ok... obviously reading stuff online makes me feel more apprehensive. I don't like the idea of my baby being around smoke or having to inhale it, especially when we don't smoke ourselves also been reading that second hand smoke is actually worse for you!

When we announced our pregnancy we were at a family bbq and they were all smoking, no one considered maybe we should smoke in one area etc I'm not sure how to make myself feel comfortable around this and if I even have to. Obviously tried to distance myself.

I also worry when baby girl is here, and my mother in law wants to watch the child if they smoke around her, will wash their hands before touching her etc.

My main rule is not to kiss the baby and I'm hoping they stick to this. But the worry of them smoking has me concerned about baby's health!

Thank you

First of all congratulations!! I would be concerned too, though I can understand your dilemma. Your baby's health and wellbeing comes first, even if it means pissing a few people off. Things that I would have felt uncomfortable asking before my daughter was born (eg changing their clothes) now I wouldn't give a second thought. If they want to smoke that's their choice but you have a responsibility to protect your baby. Don't feel bad. Be polite about it, but make clear boundaries from day 1. Hope all goes well with the birth 👍

I agree my mum smoked and I found it hard to address it.

She smoked outside and would wash her hands. I never went as far as changing clothes though.

I think while baby is young and being carried I would have a blanket rule everyone washes hands. No kisses

In terms of being around people when they are smoking I think you will just have move your baby away . Ask your dh to take a lead on this.

My parents smoke and they would never smoke near my baby. When I go to their house they open the windows in the sitting room and don't smoke it there. They also washed their hands when she was newborn (but everyone did this). When they are in my house they smoke outside, so it's not really an issue.

For me it would come down to how often you see them and whether they smoke indoors.

I hate smoking and it sets off my asthma, but FIL smokes. However he only ever smokes outside, including in his own home, and we only see them ever couple of weeks. So we never felt the need to do anything like asking him to change or wash hands.

Personally, I would just have a very strict no smoking around the baby rule and suck up the third hand smoke risk for the sake of good family relations.