Autism? Or age appropriate

[Sprinklerainbows]

My 4Y/O is a very sensitive child. He is very particular and gets easily upset if things aren’t how he likes them. He relies on a good routine and really really struggled over the summer holidays.

some things that concern me are:

1. extreme reaction to hurting himself/ noticing a graze, scab even if it’s really old. He will SCREAM and cry for hours on end if we hurts himself. He pinched his finger between 2 duplo blocks and the meltdown lasted on and off for 10 hours. He managed to hold his finger in the air for the entire day and was pretty much impossible to communicate with- this is a regular occurrence.
2. very low sensory tolerance e.g. certain sounds will really bother him (his sister screaming, hairdryers, hoover, fire alarm etc), labels in clothes, anything on his hands, food textures, hates haircuts and nails being cut- screaming and crying as a result
3. Regular meltdowns over many different things but is very very hard to distract or help him calm down
4. still wakes frequently in the night

but! He’s very sociable, confident, makes friends easily, loves other kids, very bright and inquisitive, settles easily at nursery, can do imaginative play etc.

Is this an age related issue or could it be autism? His old nursery said they didn’t think he has SEN but their reasoning was that he can play with others and is very social… I don’t know how much sen training they had or how clued up they are and he saves his meltdowns mainly for me and the min issues are at home.

I should add, 3 of my nephews have autism and both me and my partner have adhd and I have dyslexia too.
would love to hear peoples opinions

Could absolutely still be autism. Look up masking if you haven’t already. Private nurseries are especially bad at noticing in my experience. Is he starting school?

I think a lot of it may be linked to poor sleep.
May be focus on improving that as a first step. I know easier said than done...

Also with the sleep, check sleep apnea.

Yes, I would say those are potential autistic traits.

My DD was very similar at that age but very hyperactive too. ADHD was her first diagnosis followed by autism when she was older.

She was/is sociable too. It was only when she got older that it became clear her method of socialising doesn't fit neurotypical norms. At age 4 you wouldn't have picked up the differences so much.

You obviously have a strong neurodiverse presence in your family and are aware of things to look out for. As he starts school it would be worth discussing what you've observed with the Senco to see if extra support might be needed.

1. Not normal at all
2. It depends on his reaction but sensory issues don’t always equal autism
3. How regular? Occasional, as in a couple of times a week is more average at this age
4. Normal for some children who are NT

This rings very true to my 4 year old who is currently awaiting assessment for autism, referral process started just before he turned 3 and was initiated by our GP. His nursery was very clued up on Sen and the manager and his key worker both said they'd be surprised if his assessment doesn't result in a diagnosis.

@Newsenmum i definitely think it’s possible his difference in tolerance between nursery vs home could be masking!
he’s only just turned 4 so he will be one of the oldest at his school next year when he starts reception (I’m hoping that would be a potential advantage if he IS autistic)

@H34th im really not sure how to help him! He will come into our room 3x a night unless we sleep with him. He is very very sensitive

@Lindy2 thats very interesting to know, he is also quite hyper (veryyyyy strongly affected by sugar- even juice! )

@Changeiscomingthisyear so the extreme meltdowns (as in the ones that last hours) happen every week, more mild meltdowns are daily (crying, hitting, screaming, throwing, kicking) these usually last 10-30 mins

@Fivebyfive2 that’s really interesting. I think I will take him to the gp. I’m concerned his new nursery won’t be able to give any options as he’s literally JUST started. I know it can be an important part of diagnosis

Not ‘normal’ possibly ASD but that’s fine too. In terms of helping him, accept that he is the way he is and just let him get on with it, rather than trying to expect something different.

We had to accept that my son ate a very limited diet. We always offered options. He’s 22 now and ready to experiment with food and textures.

Sorry, just seen you said ‘age appropriate’ not ‘normal’

You can have the sensory aspect without other aspects of autism. It’s called sensory processing disorder. Perhaps take him to an OT who specialises in sensory assessments. There are exercises which can help.

Well, I would (and did) co sleep until he's ready for a full night sleep on his own.
I know, it's controversial but dc's good sleep was a priority for me.