Is it only me?

[Shirazwine]

DS is 2.5 years old. We both work full time. I just feel like it's all very hard. DS is a poor sleeper. Work is relentless. I have no time for myself. We are very fortunate to have help with chores in the house but I'm still constantly exhausted. I sometimes pull 14 hour days at work. I feel like both myself and DH are constantly running around like headless chickens. I don't know what I'm expecting from this post but I guess I just need to vent. How do people do it all???

You lower your standards
it’s really rough - I worked FT my DH did and traveled a lot
some nights it was beans on toast and everyone in bed for 7.30 pm
You have got to sort the sleep out - my youngest was a dreadful sleeper (I won’t even tell you how bad) and I wished I sorted it sooner than I did (she was older than three when I sleep trained)

At that age is does feel relentless, it gets easier as they get older. It’ll be especially hard if they’re not a great sleeper, which I sympathise with. I would try to get that sorted if you can - what is the issue with their sleeping habits?

My DD is almost 2.5y and I am exhausted in the morning if she is restless towards the morning and I keep waking up/falling asleep several times on those early hours. Those nights she'll sleeps well I feel rested in the morning. I think this age is still relentless until they learn to be more independent and are able to do more by themselves.
Whats going on with yours sleep? Maybe it's something that can be worked on to make him sleep better so you get more rest.

I had 2 under 2 but I worked part time. Both were bad sleepers. I made my life as easy as possible so I wasn't chasing my tail. For instance I didn't have a cleaner but working 3 days meant I had enough time to clean. I batch cooked at the weekend and at least one day a week was an easy meal.

Would either of you consider working part time, compressing hours? Would that be affordable? Could you look at reducing your expenditure? As for your child not sleeping well at 2.5years, have you sought any help on this front? Do they still nap, are you consistent with bedtime?

I was like a zombie at that stage. We also moved house. It was so stressful I thought I would collapse.

But I didn't and gradually things got easier.

I got a big promotion and oddly that really helped, as I was more in charge of my diary and was able to delegate more of the doing and do more of the strategy.

I think the key is to accept you are in the trenches and it will all improve. If you can change jobs to an easier one or more flexible hours I would recommend that too.

Can you both do 4 days instead of 5 either by doing compressed hours or taking a pay cut? Nursery fees would reduce.

Don't push on and push on. There are things you can do.

He wakes up 2-3 times at night and it’s usually it’s something along the lines of I want a drink, I want a cuddle with daddy, I want to sleep with you. Funnily enough he slept through the night without any sleep training until he was 18 months old 🤣. I know I probably shouldn’t but I have no willpower or energy to rock a huge toddler back to sleep 3 am in the morning so I bring him to our bed 😕

Agree with pp you need to sort the sleep out. I would dedicate a week of both of you being firm. Put a beaker of water next to his bed and you say no you must go back to sleep in your own bed. The first couple of days will be tough but think long term and you will crack it.

It's horribly hard work. Parts get slightly easier as they age (I have a 3yo and a 7yo) but it's replaced with bits that are more psychologically stressful.

DH works ft and I work 4 days. I'm always exhausted. The weekends are now busy with clubs etc, and I'm often solo due to DH shift work. The hardest bit is holidays are just very tiring too.

When your DC is a little older you need to prioritise being able to get a night away with friends/as a couple every now and then because the lay in/only getting yourself ready in the AM is really rejuvenating, even if it's only one night