Crying for no reason - 3 month old

[LuckySalem]

I've heard of controlled crying before but I'm not sure whether at 3 months old she understands but I have a very tempremental 3 month old girl who if she doesn't get her own way she stiffens up and screams, I've tried leaving her to cry for abit but she seems to wind herself up more and sweat like a buggar.

I only do this at times when I know she doesn't need anything and just wants me to pick her up (normally when I'm trying to do something)

Am I being a cruel mother or should she be taught that she doesn't get everything her own way and being left to cry is the best way to show her this? If so, how long do you leave them to cry? Until they stop or a specific time?

Thanks

Also - sorry, should I be out of the room if I'm leaving her to cry?

1 more - when she stops, do I pick her up and congtratulate her?

Um... I am not sure if this is serious or not but babies who are 3 months old do need cuddles and reassurance and are not capable of learning about 'getting their own way'. You really don't need to worry about teaching her anything at this age - just enjoy the cuddles and comfort her when she cries!

Umlellala - def real.

The problem is, if im cooking you can guarantee thats the time she wants picking up, even though ive normally been holding her while doing the washing etc n my arm is dead. is there not a time where she has to realise that mummy cant come running every 5 mins?

or mayb im just being silly. i honestly dont know.

Oh yes of course sometimes you just physically CAN'T but she won't really understand this at 3 months. You could try singing to her while you are cooking or talking to reassure her you are still there. Lots of people use a sling to carry their babies (who have spent 9mths IN you so you can see why they want to still be with you - she loves you!!) while they do other things.

In time, she will start to understand 'mummy is going to make a cup of tea, back in a minute' especially if you talk and warn her lots what you are going to do etc. The more you talk to her (about what you are doing) the quicker she will understand!!

I sympathise - both of my children did the same to me at 3 months! If you have done all the usual checks and can't find anything the matter then for the sake of your sanity leave her to yell (yes, leave the room)for as long as it takes you to feel less stressed. If she quietens down don't rush back - enjoy the peace while you can! You need a bit of space now and then so don't feel guilty - she wil be fine!

Cheers Umlellala - I took her in the kitchen (in her bouncy chair) with me before so I could wash her bottles and as long as I was dancing around like a loony by the sink she was actually giggling at me but just now I tried to do the same and she just screamed at me (I burnt my dinner lol)

I just wondered whether it was evil to leave her to yell while I did things like that.

Thanks as well loobs 2 - I've never felt annoyed with her but I don't want to damage her that's why I wanted to check.

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I would just pick her up and hold her - she just needs the reassurance of your presence. A sling sounds ideal for you.

Thanks peeps - My HV said not to use a door bouncer (as this was my thought to keep her amused as she LOVES being upright) but HV says at least 7 months before doing that.

I have a sling but I think it must be set wrong or something as I had her in a sling the other day while I put the washing in and it did my back in big style.

I'll just have to make do with the fact that I'll have to eat when she sleeps.

Blimey they all do that at 3 months. Get her a bouncy chair so she can watch you and jiggle about. Or put her in a sling. I used to put DD on a blanket in the kitchen so she could see me and kick her toys while I cooked.

Yes it's a pain in the arse, but they are all like that. It's just what they do. You cannot spoil a baby. They are simply not able to understand concepts like manipulation, or training - they just know they want their mummy to cuddle them and mummy seems cross about it but they don't know why.

Definitely agree that the more you pick them up, the less they cry too... Dd was pretty much held the whole time til about 6 mths (and even now at 2, I carry/cuddle her a lot) - she crawled early and was scarily happily independent when she did too. She was, and is, a very happy, secure baby.

I did eat lots of meals with one hand in the early days! Bouncy chair is v useful too. It's bringing it all back - have another one due in 3 mths... Am planning to use sling a lot and hold him whenever he wants to be held - much easier that way.

My daughter cried when put down for at least six months, maybe more. I used a sling to cook with and also ate a lot of sandwiches or pitta bread and dips etc.

You have to remember, she's not really crying for no reason. She's crying because she loves you and can't bear to be apart from you. It's a very good reason to her.

This is the sling I have www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3761456/Trail/searchtext%3EBABY%2C+CARRY.htm

I'd really recommend freedom slings, you can get them off ebay, they do a cheapy version so you can try them out to see what you think. the pouch type is easy peasy to use. having her close to you as much as possible will make her feel happy and secure without you having to do anything else, just get on with your day with much less crying and a generally happier baby

Carry her with you. a 3month old is a very new baby still, and needs reassuring a lot, fusses cuddles, being held close, so I agree a sling/carrier would be good. DD used to go to sleep to me hoovering when she was in her carrier. It was lovely.

If you are cooking, she could still be in the room with you, bouncy chair or similar, lots of talking will reassure you by hearing your voice.

If you cant cope with the crying, take a few minutes out, thats ok, as long as she is safe and you are nearby.

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