New Baby Nonsense Advice ??

[InsideOut91]

Asking all parents, midwives, health care professionals etc…
I had my baby boy 5 days ago, we had our 5 day visit from the midwife today and I can’t stop thinking about some of the things she said which just seem to contradict everything else I’ve known from life and also from having a baby before.

please someone tell me if I’m crazy here or if this is all a bit nonsense and I shouldn’t take it too seriously.

A) baby has lost 8.5% in weight so we’re having another visit in two days to see if it comes up, I know it’s within normal limits but I understand they want to see him gain more. This started a conversation about breastfeeding and she tells me to let him feed and feed for ages even letting him sleep on there for the sake of the few sucks he will take whilst asleep to stop him cluster feeding.
well as far as I’ve always known, cluster feeding is completely normal and no issue whatsoever so I’m not sure why she’s discouraging it in favour of just letting him hang out there for an hour.

B) we stripped baby to weigh him and when I went to cover him with a blanket whilst we waited for her to do more checks she said ‘no no don’t cover him he doesn’t need that he won’t be cold.’ She said ‘my newborn granddaughter is at home and we just have her there in a vest because they CAN regulate their temp’
then she gave me a horrible saying ‘a cold baby will cry, a warm baby will die’
believe me I get the seriousness of a baby overheating but was that really necessary to say? Plus, again as far as I’m aware, babies cannot regulate their temperature and should be in one more layer than we wear, well it certainly wasn’t boiling and I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt and not too hot so surely baby shouldn’t just be there in a nappy?
also when we had our daughter 2 1/2 years ago, we had a lot of weight and feeding issues with her and one night she kicked off her blankets and got dangerously cold, she did not cry or make a sound, so this further contradicts her horrible phrase.

sorry for the long post, I just felt really disheartened by her but can’t stop thinking her advice was bad and I shouldn’t take it.

Honestly, if you've had a baby already I'd just decline future visits. She sounds a bit bonkers.

A. Feeding helps increase milk production so yes if losing weight due to low supply, letting baby hang out on the boob is a good idea.

B. Ignore!

A makes sense. B is just silly.

I kind of understand A, but at the same time I know cluster feeding is totally normal and surely lots of little feeds where he’s actually sucking and swallowing actively is better than/no different than just letting him sleep there?

Sounds like waffle to me. You know what you're doing. Either decline future visits or have her round and just nod and smile. I couldn't be bothered with the disruption to my day and would just decline personally.

A I kinda understand but also cluster feeding is normal too.
B is weird, I was always told they needed one more layer than you, and unless it was very hot I would have covered with a blanket too

If you're trying to increase milk intake and weight gain then swapping breasts frequently, and every time the baby falls asleep or stops actively sucking, is a much better approach than just leaving the baby on one side.

She sounds like an oddball.

A makes sense to me on the grounds of lots of skin to skin/ babies spending time at the breast helps with raising your prolactin levels and stimulating your supply. Though personally (after having bf 2 babies with lots of early issues) I’d disregard her advice but try to find time for skin to skin where ever possible. Nothing abnormal irt cluster feeding though, that sounds like trash!

b - I’d completely ignore

can you call and ask to see someone else?

Cluster feeding helps more with supply.
The stupid saying is horrid and inaccurate.
Babies are less effective than we are at regulating their temperature.

Is it possible she was some kind of support worker rather than a hcp? Shit either way.

She sounds a bit full on but I don't think her advice is necessarily completely wrong...she's just not great at explaining herself/doesn't quite understand her own advice.

Letting the baby hang out on the boob facilitates cluster feeding, it doesn't prevent it.

And as horrible as it is to hear, 'a cold baby will cry a warm baby will die' is probably good advice. When I had my youngest in winter, midwives and health visitors drilled it into me. Apparently SIDS is more common in cold weather when babies are wrapped up warm than in summer. (Though i'm sure the general rule is still one more layer than you and even if not, your baby would have been fine with a blanket on!).

Was it a midwife or a health visitor because HVs are just some random with an opinion?

I vote just ignore her and carry on.
get your baby to birth weight so you can be discharged and then enjoy never seeing them again.
in 2 weeks she will be gone forever.

Congrats on the baby 💐

How rude. Whilst not all HVs are wonderful they are either nurses with a health visiting qualification or have done a health visiting degree. They're absolutely not 'some random with an opinion'.

A is very sensible and good advice.

B is 😳

Hmmm that might be true but
Tbh a random with an opinion was my experience for both children.

With my youngest the HV (who could not have been older than 22) told me more than one factually incorrect thing and also didn’t know what a gastroenterologist was….
it doesn’t exactly fill you with confidence

A is good advice. Helps increase milk supply!

Thanks all.
it was a lot of things that just didn’t sit quite right, she also said to try expressing one side whilst I’m feeding because if I expressed 60ml then that’s proof that the baby is getting enough from the other side.
and again I kind of see where she’s coming from but I know plenty of women can’t get the same amount from expressing as the baby is most effective at drawing milk from the breast and pumping success varies from person to person.
i tried it and got 20ml, but that doesn’t tell me that’s all baby is getting, I have to regularly pump to achieve more than that.

honestly not really sure of her job title and I don’t need to do anything because it’s always someone different you see here so the person we see in two days to check his weight will be different and probably give totally different advice

The midwife has obviously never breastfed! A baby won’t sleep with a breast in his mouth - when he dozes off his mouth flops open, and he releases suction and drops off the breast.

And for those commenting on the phrase ‘a cold baby will cry and a warm baby will die’ - I am in no way dismissing the seriousness of a child dying from overheating. It’s the first part of the statement which is untrue.
a cold baby will not exert the energy to cry and will go still and can just as easily die. Like I said, it happened with my first and luckily I checked on her in time to spend the rest of the night keeping her skin to skin to warm her up, if I hadn’t still been able to rouse her to feed her I’d have probably got immediate medical attention.
I think it’s a dangerous statement which could lead to people underdressing their babies thinking they will automatically let them know if they are cold.

sorry I really just didn’t like this woman and wanted others opinions!

Health visitors are all registered nurses and midwives with additional postgraduate training.

@TemuSpecialBuy how incredibly ageist

She sounds stupid, a baby can't regulate their temperature and in winter a newborn should actually be wearing a woollen singlet under their clothes for that reason.

Op, as others have said, A I could ignore. B is a ridiculous thing to say. What an awful thing to say to new parents, I would never!

It's your baby, in your house, and if you want to cover baby up then cover them up.

I'd firmly ask for another community midwife for your day 10 visit, I simply wouldn't have her back.

Likely won't be her first complaint!

A) really good advice. Keep baby close to boobs to boost supply. Literally boobs out and on demand feeding will encourage production and send signals to make more milk!

B) a bit extra to argue with the blanket, I wouldn't have liked that., but i wonder if she picked up the fact you might feel anxious about keeping baby warm and wrongly assumed you wasn't aware more babies die from overheating than being too cold?

But i agree, HVs are generally an odd bunch.