Baby will only fall asleep in my arms

[Snowdrops17]

Just wondering how I gently get her to fall asleep by herself it's becoming a real problem as she won't fall asleep anywhere else not the car not her buggy as a result I'm stuck in the house all day every day. She is 12 weeks old , DH just took her out for a walk she was due a nap he walked for an hour with her and she fought her sleep and is now back absolutely exhausted asleep in my arms the minute she got home.

Honestly this was me when my first was born 7 years ago. I was under the impression that I could pop her in a Moses basket and she'd nap nicely whilst I had a cup of tea and watch a bit of shite on the TV.

The simplest answer is 12 weeks is still very little, and it's normal that they will only fall asleep whilst on you. Mine started to self-settle at 9 months and that took some sleep training (hand on her tummy, then stood a bit away where she could see me, further back a bit etc).

There's some tricks you can try, like swaddling and popping a hot water bottle down to warm up the sleeping space before putting them down. I tried and had no joy but things got easier when I accepted this was just my life for a bit and managed my own expectations 😂.

I feel for you, it's really hard but they do get there. I'm pregnant with my second now so have this all to come again. I must be mad.

Thanks but I've tried all the tricks which if I'm at home I can cope with but she won't even sleep In the car I literally can't go anywhere or she ends up extremely over tired

No advice but solidarity OP. My daughter is 5 months old and exactly the same, she’s always been like this. Baby wrap/carrier is a life saver. I just tell myself that one day she’ll be storming upstairs by herself and will think I’m so embarrassing she’ll never want to cuddle me to sleep, so I’m just soaking it up while it lasts! X

The stuck indoors - don't let yourself get tied indoors. This nearly ruined my mental health so I made a point of getting out even just once a day. Just a walk with her or round to a friends for a brew. Shop for a bar of chocolate. Anything but the isolation of being stuck indoors 24/7 with a baby.

I'm getting a sling for this one and I'm planning on strapping baby to me and cracking on with my day to day, including work (I work for myself so that should be interesting).

Do whatever it takes to get through this first year. I feel for you, I was similar. I like my own space so constantly rocking a baby drove me insane. Once I made peace with it id just pop upstairs and watch a film in bed whilst she napped. If I felt tired I would make sure we were in a safe sleeping position and nap away as well. Make sure you get a lie in on the weekends as well and your OH is helping enough .

I would recommend No Cry Sleep Solutions book by Elizabeth Pantley

Oh god I was really hoping she would sleep by herself by 5 months I literally can't leave the house .

I'll have a look thank you

Baby wrap/carrier is a life saver.

This I was luckier DD1 and DD2 would sleep in a moving pushchair or rocking bouncy chair at least occasionally - but getting a sling we both liked was fantastic.

I also had to give in and co-sleep safely and with DD1 even for afternoon naps - DD2 was better with those.

I still leave the house, I just make do! So like this morning we went for a walk and she played with her toys in the pram, then we got in the car and I went for breakfast and to get some shopping, she was ready for a sleep so she slept in my arms in the cafe and then slept on me in the baby wrap while I got my shopping. By the time my shopping was done she was awake again and so we went and met my friend for a coffee.

All you can do is make the best of it and adapt, try not to stay in the house would be my advice because everything feels worse when you’re trapped indoors! X

My now twelve year old was like this for a year. At the time I found it so draining & the house was such a mess. Honestly now though I’d love to go back in time & have those cuddles back. I’d do it in a heartbeat, & wish I could reassure my former self that it all works out in the end. You’ll never regret giving your baby too many cuddles. Find ways to make your life comfortable. If you have other dc then Perhaps buy a decent sling (second hand) & make a flask of tea/ coffee to drink through the day. Watch tv that you wouldn’t normally have a chance to & download audio books. It will pass quickly. There are many years for clean & tidy houses.

Eventually my Dd learnt to sleep in the pram & we walked her for hours. The happiest baby on the block gave good advice for us.

good luck

This was my DD for a long time. I used a sling and she only slept in that (if I was walking) or while breastfeeding for many months. When she was a bit older I could feed her to sleep on the floor bed and roll away.

It was just her temperament. I tried all the tricks and almost drove myself mad doing it. The best thing I did was accept it and work with it rather than against it. Things got easier as she got older and had less naps.

I agree with PP, try and make this time more enjoyable for you. Watch some shite with a nice drink. It's easier said than done but do get out of the house if the thing you dislike the most is staying in - even if its only for a short time.

It's really hard but you're doing it x