50/50 custody

[Wildpants]

Hi there,

My husband and I are in a bit of a predicament. I have a child who currently resides with us as primary carer. His biological father, who had little involvement in his life to start with due to cocaine addiction ( which he has been in rehab for twice) has asked us for 50/50 care.

We currently live around 30 minutes away from his bio dad, we’re currently in the process of looking to move around 5 minutes away from him, mainly for my husbands work, our parents and family all live up there and we really could use the extra support as I am currently pregnant. We agreed around 6-8 months ago that bio dad could have more time and agreed that he has the following:

Fri night, Saturday, Sunday to drop to school on the Monday one week. Pickup the following Monday to drop to school on the Tuesday the week after. He then resides with us for the remainder of the time and he also visits his cousins every other Friday when all the kids spend the night round his nan and grandads house. He is currently very stable in his routine.

When bio dad has asked us for additional nights here or there, or holiday dates etc we have been very accommodating and never said no unless we’ve had plans.

Bio dad is very high conflict at times, flips off the lid one minute and then is a completely different person the next. He has taken my son on multiple occasions and refused to give him back, has attempted to take us to court to take full custody of him earlier in the year and we’re very very careful with how we deal with him and how we approach things.

We want my son to see his dad of course, we think it’s beneficial for him to have both parents in his life and we’re never going to stop that. A new school, a new sibling on the way and a new house is going to be a lot for him being 5 years old. Bio dad has said that unless we agree to 50/50 , he will not authorise his school move, even though his current journey time would reduce from 30 minutes to 5 just out of pettiness.

Are we able to move him schools without his permission as it is not viable for him to continue school miles away from where his mum and dad reside?

also, if he was to take this to court, where would we stand?

Hey, you cannot move them schools without consent from everyone who holds parental responsibility, that said if you did move him schools he would need to apply to the court for the move to be stopped or changed back, do you think he would do that?
does he have PR?
i would assume he would need to make a case to the court reasons why the change of schools would be bad for the child/ his relationship with the child but as it would make the relationship better as he would be closer i doubt he could block the move via court order anyway xx

I would only be agreeing to him spending more time with your son if he agrees to regular drug testing.

OP has already agreed to child spending time with dad for last 8 months.

We spoke to the school today and they said we can move him schools with only one signature , so that’s what we will be doing. If he wants to take us to court over moving his son closer to him then so be it.

We are going to stick with our current agreement regarding him seeing him the amount he does, if he wants to change this then I guess it will be the courts decision.