Bedwetting 8 year old.

[Runaway123]

Hi,
I posted here a while ago about my 7 year still wetting the bed at night and also needing to go a lot in the day.
I received some not very nice replies saying I was basically a bad parent for not having taken him to the doctors. Well I took him to the doctor's and they tested his urine-no infection. They said they'd refer him for a hospital appointment, but a few days later I received a message from the doctor saying they're not doing that and they're putting me in touch with a local health/nursing team. Well, all I got from. The health team was a message with a video to watch. Full of info like 'dont punish! your child, it's not their fault (usefull!). I have followed some of the advice such as drinking more in the day, making several trips to the loo before bed. My child wears pull ups to bed, and was still wetting so I followed the next bit of advice which was to remove the pull ups. But nothing has worked. He now just wets the bed and I'm struggling to cope. We both work pretty much full time. I'm having to strips and wash bedding and duvets nearly everyday.
I don't know what else to do. He's 8 now and I see no signs of it stopping. We're having to get him up sooooo early in the week now as he goes to a before school club at 7.30 and we now have to get him up to have a shower, strip his bed etc before we leave for work.
Do I put him back in pull ups and carry on waiting it out in the hope he will get it in the end? Can anyone relate or has been through similar? Just looking for advice from anyone who has experienced this please. Thanks 😊

This must be really hard. I think it would be sensible to go back to the GP and say you've followed all the advice and it hasn't worked. The GP has clearly been advised to follow a step by step approach but they may now be able to refer to the hospital. Maybe they could check his vasopressin levels which could indicate whether just waiting it out is needed, or some further intervention?

We’re going through the same thing. I’m dreading autumn when I can’t get the washing out on the line 🫣 We’re waiting for a doctors referral having gone through months of following the advice from the school nurse team and it having very little impact (also ruled out infection etc). My hunch is that DS is a very deep sleeper, so I think next step is to go down the alarm route. We’ve kept him out of pull ups as we were told this was the best thing to do by the nurse we spoke to. Sorry, I don’t have much advice but I completely get where you’re coming from. I hope you get to the bottom of what’s causing it.

Hi OP, can totally relate to this. My DC was exactly the same, never been dry at night and such a heavy sleeper. I contacted the charity ERIC who gave some really useful advice (I emailed them and they sent some very detailed replies). I decided to try an alarm, I was very sceptical but within a month or two DC was pretty much dry at night. I do remember feeling like nothing was going to work, but think some just need a little more time. Should say that before this we just used pull ups just for practical reasons. Good luck!

My sister wet the bed at that age and so did my daughter, when my sister was wetting the bed my mum took her to doctors and they said her muscles that hold pee in were underdeveloped and told her to do pelvic floor exercises (boys can do pelvic floor exercises too) and that once she matured- hit puberty- the bed wetting would stop- and it did, my daughter was the same wet bed until puberty (10) my younger daughter never wet the bed 🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes it just takes some kids a bit longer, i would use pull ups for convenience, if peeing the bed doesn’t wake him then no point in using that approach to get him to wake when he feels himself going, unfortunately it probably is a wait it out situation as frustrating as it can be xx

Put him back in pull ups. My very nearly 12yo has only been seen in our area in the last year (unfortunately nothing has helped so far). Previous to this we lived in a different area and they wouldn't see a child until 12 years. We also have a deep sleeper!

Are you still in contact with the health team? I was advised by my local Continence Champions service to try all the ‘simple measures’ (same as you). We then tried getting rid of pull-ups, but still wet most nights. Once I’d shown we’d tried that for a period we then discussed other options (alarms and medicine). Based on the timings of my child’s wetting, they recommended Desmopressin, and sent a request to the GP who then prescribed it. It’s a tablet (melt) that is dissolved under the tongue before bedtime. It’s been pretty successful for my child. But you do have to take a weeks break every couple of month to see if the body has figured things out for itself yet.

because my child is still wetting (on the weeks break) having just turned 8, she has now been referred to the incontinence at hospital, but this has a few months wait.

And, I asked about getting my youngest referred to the same Continence Champions service, but they don’t take before 7 years old!

Check out Hygge sheets. They are a game changer for changing wet beds at night! I’ve gone for plain white, and my child is really happy with them.

My DS wet the bed nearly every night until around his 9th birthday. He just stopped one night and has not had a repeat in over a year.
Try not to panic. I’m sure you’ve heard this all before but the hormone that keeps them dry at night takes longer to kick in for some children.
If it’s causing so much difficulty for you to manage the wet sheets etc I would put him back in pull ups - they do them up to teen sizes.
There are lots of threads on here about DCs getting dry overnight as they get a bit older - I spent plenty of time reading through these. You are not alone!

8 year old here the same too. We have a waterproof duvet cover which saves the duvet itself being washed and two waterproof sheets in top of each other. Most mornings it's a wash going on of the normal duvet cover, sheet and 2 x waterproof ones as it goes through, I think tumble drying then has reduced their effectiveness.

We're just waiting it out.

My daughter also wets the bed. You need to go through the health visitor team initially who will try behavioural techniques e.g. cutting out blackcurrant squash, drinking more during day. You need to persist with these and make sure you have follow up with them. If these things don't work, they should then refer you to the hospital continence team who can prescribe desmopressin - we have found this very effective at the higher dose.

I know that my daughter was lazy when she was wearing pull ups - she knew she had them on so would use them rather than get up, so I do think you need to get out of these. We had a spare change of pyjamas, and a inco sheet and extra sheet on the bed, so that when she wet the bed, I could just pull these off and she could get back in.

We tried everything with my son, alarms, not drinking past 6.30, waking him in the night etc but nothing worked. I think we were very lucky by the sound of the rest of the replies on here. I just messaged the GP on the Patches system the surgery uses, explained everything and she prescribed the desmopressin melts straight away which worked like a dream. We didnt have to be referred anywhere. He was 11 by this point.

It's a shame you weren't referred to a bladder clinic. When you say you followed some of the advice, was there something you didn't do? Eg we were told to cut out squash and all fizzy drinks and only give water - which is hard sometimes but does help. Also constipation can make things worse so you have to make sure they have nice soft poo otherwise the hard stool can put pressure on the bladder.

medication could really help. Desmomelt can make a huge difference. Plus using it with a bed wetting alarm. We did this. It's exhausting but it did work when used with the meds (around the same age as your child).

Also we used a mattress protector strip on top of the sheets and under sheet mattress protector so we could sometimes get away with just taking that off rather than changing the whole bed.

It's very hard and I sympathetise. Don't be afraid to go back to the Gp and insist on a referral to the bladder clinic to see a paediatrician.

If it's all too much you can go back to pull-ups and it may just get better in time. It just depends on the social impact in terms of school residential trips and sleepovers etc.

Good luck.

Thanks all for the advice, it's nice to have some friendly words and know I'm not alone this time 😊
We've pretty much followed the rules, apart from little things like he does still have some fizzy drinks as a one off sometimes (like on a Saturday when we have McDonald's for dinner). The rest of the time he has water or weak squash.
I feel like might have to go back to pull ups again as we can't go on like this.
I think I'll go back to the gp and see if they can offer any more help now given things aren't improving. Maybe they will listen this time.
I'm guessing he will start having residentials at school this year and that's going to be really difficult. And his grandparents are looking after him at home this weekend as me and my husband are going away. I can't expect them to be changing all his bedding and washing it. They are nearly 70, and plus he has a high sleeper bed so it's really tricky to sort and change. Just feel like there's so many obstacles to contend with!

You are not alone. We recently tried the alarm with our 7yo and gave up as it was exhausting getting up multiple times a night.

The ability not to wet the bed is partly hormonal, I believe. Put him back in pull ups for now, or try the wee alarm. Poor boy can't help it, and it's actually quite common. Look at the ERIC website for further details.

I can hear how exhausted you are. Managing daily laundry while working full time is not easy, and the fact that you kept trying different strategies shows how committed you are.
When a child has persistent nighttime wetting together with daytime frequency, this usually reflects delayed maturation of the bladder-brain communication system. During deep sleep, the brain does not wake in response to bladder signals, and during the day regulation may still be inefficient. This is developmental, not a discipline issue.
Removing pull-ups does not treat the problem. It only removes protection. Dryness does not develop because a child experiences discomfort; it develops when the nervous system matures or is properly trained.
Fluid adjustments and pre-bed toilet trips are reasonable but they do not address the core sleep-depth mechanism. What helps most is structured intervention, not isolated tips. A properly guided alarm program or systematic behavioral approach can actively train the brain rather than waiting passively.
If daytime frequency is significant, also ensure bowel patterns are truly normal. With the right structure, improvement is absolutely possible.

Dr. Tal Sagie
Bedwetting Expert and Co-Creator of the TheraPee Program