Does it really get better?

[msmaisymouse]

Right now it feels pretty bleak … dd turned one in July and while she wasn’t one of those amazing babies sleeping through from 5 weeks she wasn’t bad and I considered myself lucky. I had a lovely year on maternity leave with her going to baby groups but since she turned one it’s just all gone wrong

She doesn’t sleep. She goes down for morning nap fine but then refuses the afternoon one and then is wired and won’t sleep at night. I’m spending two hours getting her to sleep. Leave her in her cot and she just goes mental and she was just sick.

I need some downtime but get none, and I’m so fed up and to be honest resentful of her. I know it’s awful but I wish I hadn’t had her.

Sounds like she needs to move to one nap. She’s probably going down easily for the morning nap because she’s tired from not having a good sleep the night before, because she’s up so late. I’d try shifting it back and seeing how that impacts things.

To answer your original question, though, it definitely gets better. I didn’t have good sleepers but they both sleep pretty well now. They are mostly good company. I can do things I enjoy, with and without them, and get more down time. Bad sleep can make you feel like you’re going insane and it will never end, but honestly it really does

Edit: posted too soon.

I’ve tried that but it doesn’t make any difference. If she wakes at 6 it’s a long time to go until about 11 for one nap. But we have managed it and she wakes around 1/130. So perfect for bed at 7 except it isn’t, she just won’t go down. She’s still up now and I don’t think I’ll get her to sleep until about midnight .

Could she be teething? If two hours getting to sleep sounds like the nap schedule might need a change?

I know, I have tried varying it as much as I can but nothing really seems to make any difference. I can’t believe a baby her age wouldn’t be exhausted after 7 hours awake but she’s not.

Yes 100% all gets easier this period will pass!!! Be kind to yourself xxxx

I hope so; it feels like we’ve got into really poor sleep habits and I’m not sure how. I just don’t understand why she isn’t exhausted, I know wake windows aren’t precise but they’re useful as a rough guide but she seems to go double the ‘recommended’ time and only gives in when she’s got to beyond exhaustion then she wakes up all night. She must be tired. I know I am, and I know I’m very worried about how I’m going to cope at work. It’s also so hard not to feel frustrated with her.

It does get easier, it really does. I think nearly all of us have felt like you do at some point.

I have spent a couple of days when mine were that age just getting them to sleep. Wake up at say 5:30 (and that wasn't an early start!), nap by 10. Lunch, another nap, bedtime a smidgen earlier. Repeat on Sunday if necessary. I had them napping on me and just drank massive mugs of coffee and watched crap TV. Its horrible when you see they are so tired they just can't sleep, I found letting them catch up on sleep really helped.

Mine are 9 and 7 and get up and get their own breakfast now of a weekend. But I remember the neverending lack of sleep.

I've got a 22 month old and a 4.5 year old, both were pretty bad sleepers and I spent many hours in dark rooms trying to get them to sleep. It definitely gets easier, I think you're in a really tricky bit and it is just hard. I found it easier to accept that if they weren't tired they just weren't tired. My youngest dropped her nap at 18 months ish, but now generally sleeps through and difference of not having to get through every day sleep deprived and with the bed dread is amazing. Hang on in there

Thanks, I didn’t mean what I said about wishing I hadn’t had her, but it does seem so hard and exhausting at the moment.

Try a sleep consultant!

But I agree it sounds like you need to move to 1 nap consistently and permanently (takes a while for results) - start pushing back morning nap, make sure you have a consistent bedtime routine (eg bath, teeth, quiet bedroom play, same book every night to signal bedtime).

Join evidence based sleep FB group

Sleep consultant may be needed if things carry on as they are. I will try her with one nap but if she wakes at 5 that will be difficult. Plus it doesn’t seem to make much difference. I am going to change the bedtime routine by putting her straight into her cot though.

Hi OP.

feel for you.
my ds at that age, and even now, needs around 6.5hours of awake time before bed. So maybe you need to try pulling bedtime earlier. Look for the tired cues- if we go past the 6.5 hours he gets crazy, unable to get him to sleep.

does sound like it’s time to transition to one nap. X

Mine was terrible at 1 yr old he was going to sleep at midnight too. I was exhausted but it does get better. He is 2 now and I've gt him to go down mostly at 10. The sleep routine you have may need to be changed. I gt him down to one nap a day and then would start the sleep routine from 10. He'd fight it at first but eventually he gt used to it. Now at nearly three hes losing the daily nap and will go to sleep earlier if he wakes earlier in the morning. Also a car or buggy ride works wonders in the evening. But it will get better.