I'd appreciate advice from any family law specialists. Abusive ExH and I separated nearly a decade ago. We've never had a contact arrangements order - we've figured things out together, and that's mostly worked, though ExH has often used childcare to try to control me, e.g. insisting on more, then dropping it; threatening to withdraw care etc. I've bitten my tongue a lot over the last ten years and it's been somehow managable.
ExH has now said he's not committed to any of the childcare he's previously agreed to. This makes things difficult, because I also have elderly parents (who live a few hours away), and I need to plan times to see them etc.
I've contacted my solicitor, but - in the meantime - wonder if it's ok to say: "these are the dates I'm making the DC available for contact" and listing out the dates we've previously agreed. I think ExH will want to see DC, but it's going to be really tricky if this is just on his whim (there are other complicating factors re carer schedules etc). Does this seems like a reasonable approach - to try to nudge ExH towards existing arrangements?
NB: a side issue is that ExH has also never paid the right level of child support, and he's threatened at times to withdraw that too. The DC are now with me a lot more, ExH earns more, and nothing has changed in 10 years.