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Parenting

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chronic early riser - anyone else?

9 replies

Beansandneedles · 02/09/2024 06:20

DS (5.5) has always been an early riser. I'm talking pre 5.30, since he was a tiny baby. He usually needs a #2 which wakes him, and then can't go back to sleep.

He looks exhausted, and I'm really sick of my day beginning at 4.45am like it did today. Also means he becomes a tired gremlin by about 4pm.

Bedtime is usually lights out by 7. It's a bit flexible depending on activities etc. I've tried different things over the years to see if bedtime affects the mornings, i.e. having a strict bedtime schedule and routine, later nights, earlier nights. Later nights seem to = earlier mornings. The best success we had for a time was getting him bed at the first time of tiredness, even if that was at 5.30pm. But it wasn't sustainable and didn't always work.

We have very little screen time (max twice a week, sometimes not at all in a week) and are outside a lot. Part of me thinks not enough as when we were camping over the summer we had some absolutely miraculous 8am lie ins. But how the hell do you mimic that amount of fresh air in every day life?! I'd say we get 5 or 6 hours outside a day at least 4 days a week. Makes no difference.

He has a very healthy diet. Happiest with raw carrots, peppers, tomatoes, cucumber etc. My DH cooks from scratch most days of the week and is the king of hidden veg.

DD (3) on the other hand is a night owl who doesn't want to sleep before 8.30, so we have it the other way with her, she's also in bed by 630/7 but not asleep for an hour or so. They're like bookends!!

Has anyone else dealt with a serial early riser who can lend us any tips? He goes back to bed and lies down and is telling me he's trying to get back to sleep with such ernest, but I know he's actually awake in there for 2 hours waiting till it's okay to get up. Have made him a little chart to show that once it's 6am he can look at a book or listen to his yoto but before that he needs to be trying to sleep.

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Sandyankles · 02/09/2024 06:27

Yes, but it only lasted until they were 12 - normal teenage lie ins now. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear. late nights etc made no difference. We also had a little clock that changed colour once it was time to wake up and it does get easier once they can occupy themselves quietly.

Sandyankles · 02/09/2024 06:28

I used to say ‘you don’t have to be asleep, but you do have to be resting with your eyes closed’ to take the pressure off a bit.

Simonjt · 02/09/2024 06:32

Yes, but she’s only two so it could change, she normally wakes between 4:30-5:00 most days, in bed and asleep by 7:30pm.

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Beansandneedles · 02/09/2024 06:33

Sandyankles · 02/09/2024 06:27

Yes, but it only lasted until they were 12 - normal teenage lie ins now. Sorry, probably not what you wanted to hear. late nights etc made no difference. We also had a little clock that changed colour once it was time to wake up and it does get easier once they can occupy themselves quietly.

Ha I said to his godmother that he's probably going to perfectly segway from waking ridiculously early to me not being able to get him out of his bed for love nor money! Only 6.5 years to go....

We do have a groclock set to 7 in the holidays and 630 on school days. I'd have it at 7 all year round but I feel bad that he's in there for 2+ hours just waiting for us all to get up so we compromise. This morning he's woken the little one (not purposefully) so today's going to be tough. She falls asleep so late she really needs the mornings.

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Beansandneedles · 02/09/2024 06:35

Simonjt · 02/09/2024 06:32

Yes, but she’s only two so it could change, she normally wakes between 4:30-5:00 most days, in bed and asleep by 7:30pm.

Solidarity, it's tough starting the day that early. When he was small he'd get in with me and we'd read books (I can recommend a yoto player, means you can lie with your eyes closed and they're happily listening to a story in bed, gets you a bit more zzzz) which was lovely and cosy, but I can't pretend I wouldn't swap it for an extra hours rest now and again. I'm usually in bed by 9 in preparation for an early start. I miss having long evenings!!

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AlarminglyAwful · 02/09/2024 06:40

Can he not just go downstairs on his own? Mine is just turning 6 and has been doing this for over a year. He’s left a drink and a snack, and he draws, does Lego or (horror of horrors) watches something on the tablet. DH is usually up around 5.30 anyway, but he’s often going out to train or work.

Rorpethy · 02/09/2024 06:43

I feel you op. 4 year old ds is the same. Through the summer holidays I've been keeping him up late but it makes no difference so decided i might as well keep the early bedtime (7pm).

I also have a 13 year old dd who was always the same, and still is, but obviously doesn't need looking after, so it doesn't matter anymore. A lie in for her is 8am.

My 11 year old is the opposite and can sleep for England. 10am has been his average wake up time this holiday!

Sorry I don't have much advice but at least he will be able to get up by themselves in the not too distant future. Could you put a drink and snack by their bed and just tell them to play in their room for an hour when they wake up?

Beansandneedles · 02/09/2024 06:51

AlarminglyAwful · 02/09/2024 06:40

Can he not just go downstairs on his own? Mine is just turning 6 and has been doing this for over a year. He’s left a drink and a snack, and he draws, does Lego or (horror of horrors) watches something on the tablet. DH is usually up around 5.30 anyway, but he’s often going out to train or work.

Nothing horrible about tablets if it works for you. Screens make him really overstimulated. He used to loose all ability to control his impulses and would get aggressive. Nursery had him on a SEN list, but we cut out screens and everything got better. Slowly trying to reintroduce it a bit in a controlled way but we're mostly used to living without it now. Not here to judge anyone else's choices that work for their family. You do you!

I have said he can go downstairs, but he's just so blooming boisterous and energetic. Totally forgets the rest of the house is asleep and gets lost in some game of his own creation where he's chatting away to himself or practicing jumping and handstands and stuff. So loud!!! 😂

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Beansandneedles · 02/09/2024 06:56

Rorpethy · 02/09/2024 06:43

I feel you op. 4 year old ds is the same. Through the summer holidays I've been keeping him up late but it makes no difference so decided i might as well keep the early bedtime (7pm).

I also have a 13 year old dd who was always the same, and still is, but obviously doesn't need looking after, so it doesn't matter anymore. A lie in for her is 8am.

My 11 year old is the opposite and can sleep for England. 10am has been his average wake up time this holiday!

Sorry I don't have much advice but at least he will be able to get up by themselves in the not too distant future. Could you put a drink and snack by their bed and just tell them to play in their room for an hour when they wake up?

Thanks! That sounds like it could be a tricky balance between the 3 of them you've got!!

Yes I have made him a poster that sits by the clock to say what time he can do things. So if the clock says up until a certain time he needs to be trying to sleep, then after that he can look at a book in bed but needs to be quiet, then he can play in his room, then the owl wakes and we all get up. This has helped a bit, but it's the tail end of the day when he's then knackered and loses all ability to emotionally regulate.

He shares with his sister so trying not to let him up too early, and as mentioned to a pp if he goes downstairs he gets noisy. He's full of beans and gets lost in his own world so if he was up playing early it would be loud. Sometimes he's even on the loo just chatting away to himself lost in a play world. Strong imagination! <3

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