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How do I toilet train a nearly 3yr old who cannot walk?

9 replies

aztecagold · 18/04/2008 12:27

My DS is 3 in Sep and is still not walking. He has problems with low tone and balance and could walk with a frame if he would put the effort in which he won't because he's stubborn. His speech is also behind but his cognotive and social skills, fine motor and understanding are all age appropriate he just has gross motor physical difficulties. He is showing all the signs of wanting to be toilet trained but I really don't know where to start? I'm worried that I'm letting the fact he can't get to the potty/toilet himself put me off trying. He will sit on a potty but he's a big lad so I'm thinking straight to the toilet with a trainer seat? I've asked our physio they haven't got any advice.
Can anyone help or give any tips, ideas?
Thanks
PS - This is my first time on mumsnet so am waffling a bit

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justabouta · 18/04/2008 12:30

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Psychomum5 · 18/04/2008 12:56

welcome to MN

no advice re toilet training, but maybe you should post this in the SN (special needs) section as they will almost certainly have someone there who has either been thro this or can advise how too.

eidsvold · 18/04/2008 13:06

I started with dd1 ( who is now almost 6 and has down syndrome - she was 3 when she walked - but has the low tone issues) with toilet timing. Taking her every hour and making a note on whether she was wet/dry/dirty and then if she produced something. Hoping to find a pattern. have a spreadsheet done up to make recording easy. Unfortunately I think dd1 is not letting her bladder fill and so the messages of full bladder are not getting to her.

I have a friend whose daughter has sn but she had a pattern to her toileting and so was able to toilet train/time as her daughter had a pattern.

I am going to go hard at it with dd1.

So perhaps start with the toilet timing. Taking him - if he has issues with balance - perhaps a seat like this might help:

this is sturdy My dd1 uses this as well as her younger sister - have it in our playroom to facilitate toileting - otherwise they have to run upstairs to the toilet. This seat then folds out to a step and a toilet seat and you still have the handles for support.

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sarah293 · 18/04/2008 13:18

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KITTENSOCKS · 18/04/2008 14:13

A relative of mine's daughter has cerebral palsy and cannot walk, but is mentally very able. She used to have a Safety First potty chair (the sort that looks like a mini toilet) in the lounge so that she didn't need to be carried far! She was able to ask to go and everyone helped her immediately. She was pretty reliable by 3yrs. They had no downstairs loo, so when she reached 5 yrs and was heavy to lift she used to use an Elsan basic camping loo in the hall with a childs seat on it!

I think that sitting on the potty at regular intervals to start with is a good idea, just to get used to it, and especially after meals. You may find that after a big drink, he may need to wee half an hour later, so you could try then.

If your DS can say "pot' or"wee'' or "poo" in time for you to help him, you just drop everything and dash. Some sort of potty chair close to hand at first, and when you know he can hold on for you to get him to the loo, you can use a child seat, and hold onto him, or put a chair in front for him to hold if he feels as though he will fall off!! Or you can buy a frame with arms from Argos p.1058 for £39.49 to put around the loo if you aren't supplied with one from the physio.

I would say that sitting with the knees higher than the hips is physiologically the best position for defaecation, so a foot stool might be a good idea.

I hope this will be of some use to you. Be prpared for lots of accidents to begin with, but you'll know you're both winning when you get more hits in the potty than in pants! Good luck!!

fairy15 · 18/04/2008 14:41

maybe you could teach him the sign for toilet. i take my ds to sing & sign classes & he does the sign for toilet as he is stil young so is'nt saying all words. hope you find a solutin.

Sidge · 18/04/2008 14:52

My DD is 4 and has no speech and although she can walk a bit, has very low tone and can't get on the loo or get her clothes down.

She is just starting to use the toilet or potty - she uses the Makaton sign for toilet then I put her on the loo or potty. I have one potty upstairs, and one downstairs. We are due to see the OT soon to get a step and frame for the toilet. Have you got an OT who can assess him for equipment?

marmadukescarlet · 18/04/2008 14:53

I'm thinking about it for my 3.8 yr old who has SN.

My problem is that although small he is too big for most potties, inc the safety first potty/step/toilet seat combo. If he's far enough back to tuck his willy in he is too far back for poos - so far all attempts have lead to much mopping and cleaning!

Am interested in the one on your link eids if your 6 yr old can sit on it. I don't suppose you could measure the diameter so I caould assess how big it was before I ordered it? Thanks very much.

My only concern with the timing system would be that they do not fill their bladder to capacity and YOU are reminding them to go. So, for my DD anyway, her own 'trigger' took a very long time to establish causing lots of accidents if she wasn't reminded to go.

aztecagold · 18/04/2008 15:18

Thanks so much for all of your advice!

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