Apologies in advance for long post! 10 weeks ago my 17 year old and I come to blows, over nothing too major, the usual teen stuff, lazy, no drive, little ambition and lies. He can be very self righteous, I explained to him, If you don’t want to continue with college fine, if you don’t want and apprenticeship fine, however until you know what you want to do you need to contribute you don’t get the option to bum around all day. This didn’t go down well at all. I believe he also has a weed addiction, we stopped some time ago providing him with money, I’m not enabling that habit. He’s become withdrawn, a bit scruffy didn’t give a crap about out boundaries, we offered him every bit of support, understanding And guidance possible. Anyways back to the falling out, he hit the roof and asked for his dads contact details, a man that wasn’t allowed to see him and 9 years had passed, it was the last thing I wanted so yet again with my husband’s support a man he’s called dad since he was 3, said give him the opportunity to come home and talk to us, I did and he rejected it. So off he went, I dropped all his stuff off and he was cold detached and said he didn’t want to see me again! His real dad is abusive, violent drugs taker who has never worked, I was heartbroken, then I was his with a claim from child maintenance ( never had a penny from him) and found out my son was dealing weed and galavanting around with his dad zero boundaries! Well after 5 weeks his dad asked him to leave said he doesn’t want the responsibility, so he’s moved to his nanas, who apparently set some boundaries such as no weed, no coming in late etc, I get this information from another relative! All the while I’ve been sending him very nice messages saying let’s go for a walk, always here for you etc, and we’re face with nothing, it’s like I’m dead to him! I’m so sorry for the lengthy post, I’m just devastated and desperate for advice. I love him with all my heart he’s my only child .