Post natal anxiety- only realising now

[Justcouldntseeit]

My child is 3. I only understand now that I battled through post natal anxiety by myself. Of course my husband has been amazing. But, none the wiser, we just thought life with a baby, then toddler, now young child is hard. I didn't see it at the time. I think I'm still struggling with the aftermath of PNA.

Does anyone else feel this. We'd like another. I'm not sure I'd cope. Maybe I'm not cut out for it.

The funny thing is our child is amazing. Sleeps well, well behaved, eats well, joy to be around. But it's still hard and like nothing we experienced before. We're quiet, introverted people. I like things just-so, to maintain a feeling of control. I'm already anxious by nature but had it under control myself. A child throws it all up in the air.

I'm fine, I think. Sometimes it's hard to see what might be post natal anxiety and what's simply life with a young child.

Does anyone relate?

Yes. It took me over a year to even realise I was anxious. I had a year of psychotherapy which helped immensely. I also have a supportive partner, and a second child. I relate to a lot of what you write.

How did you find the decision to have a second after going through that?

I haven't done anything about it so far other than battle on and try to get through it myself with my husband's help.

I also struggle with overwhelming PMT which I didn't before having a child as I was on the pill. I no longer want to take the pill but struggling with PMT like I've never known before. Get very angry, stressed, and down.

I was in a good place after a year of therapy and felt fine about conceiving and having a second child. The anxiety crept back around 3 months postpartum with my second and like you I have been “managing” it by myself.