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Parenting

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Original poster

Yes, I know I'm being a bit silly but......OMG!!!

19 replies

ForeverBlowingBubbles · 18/04/2008 02:14

Yesterday, as my DD was getting out of the bath, I was shocked to notice she has started getting pubic hair!! She is only 9 years old!

I'm not sure why I'm so shocked. I can't actually remember how old I was when it happened to me, but didn't start periods until 13 and can't imagine it will have been long before then.

We have had fairly frank discussions about periods and puberty in recent months, but yesterday when she realised I had noticed, she started crying, saying she doesn't want to become a woman yet and doesn't want periods.

I'm a first timer going through this so I don't really know what to do next. Should I be getting her a book about growing up? Should I stock up on pads and if so, what kind?? When I started at 13 they were the size of housebricks, lol Should she be carrying pads round with her everywhere just in case?? I just don't know how soon periods tend to start after pubic hair appears

I need advice from mums who have been through this please, I really wasn't expecting to have to help DD deal with this just yet!

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thornrose · 18/04/2008 02:17

Oh I'm so sorry for you, my dd is 8 and she has been complaining of sore nipples lately and I'm sure they look slightly swollen, I'm terrified she's growing breasts, for god's sake, she's 8 yo. I hope you get some good advice from people who have been there!

Dottydot · 18/04/2008 02:21

oh bless her Sorry I've got no experience of this but I can imagine how you and her are feeling.

Maybe you need to think about what you could do to 'celebrate' her periods coming, if they do start soon. Some kind of special day out just for her, or a present she wants?

Doesn't seem right - they're only children.

Hope you get some replies from Mums of older girls.

UnderRated · 18/04/2008 02:22

I have not been through this with my own DC but worked in a residential school so had similar situations with the girls there.

I think you just need to reassure her. That she is just getting older - she will still be your DD and you will still love her. That having periods is not so terrible but changes are often unsettling and take time to get used to. A book could help but I can't recommend anything. I'm sure others will.

A supply of pads may be a good idea, just in case. You can keep them in a drawer - your DD doesn't need to know they are there, if she's not ready.

Good luck.

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UnderRated · 18/04/2008 02:25

I know it seems young, but lots of girls start developing at 8 or 9 these days. When I was teaching, I was always shocked at the conversations the girls would have when the boys left to get changed. They sounded like little teenagers - all talk of bras, leg hair and periods

I am sure other girls in your DDs class are going through the same thing.

egypt · 18/04/2008 05:28

I was about 8 or 9 and I was horrified (periods at 11). I was in complete denial and HATED HATED it. My mum was in denial too, although once said to me in the bath 'you're growing hair' to which I replied 'NO I'M NOT' and that was it, case closed. I wish she had said, 'it's ok, all the girls will soon'.

I asked a girl at school if she had any and she laughed and splurted 'pfft, no!' to which i felt worse.

Sorry, not much help, but just do reassure her that it's normal and nothing to worry about, and she won't be alone...

windygalestoday · 18/04/2008 07:19

its no easy ride with boys either both my eldest 2 boys sit down quickly on a school morning with a cushion on theor laps 'supposedly chilling' this is since ds3 insisted they were hiding things in their pj bottoms-i just try and be open but not too much iyswim

cory · 18/04/2008 10:13

There may yet be a while before periods start. Just reassure her- and reassure yourself. Periods at 10 are not at all unusual (I started at 11 and that was over 30 years ago). In a couple of years' time noone will remember who had their periods first.

Dd had hers at 10, but we did have to go through the explaining earlier than that (8?) as she had bleeding (bladder problems) which I thought might be early onset puberty.

Pads come in all sorts of sizes these days, really not a problem. Plus first periods are often light and irregular. Have a quiet word with the person in charge of the medical room at her school; they probably keep extra pads in there for an emergency, I know dd's school does.

Just make sure dd knows where she can turn if periods start suddenly. She may want to carry a spare pad (suitably and discreetly packaged) in her bag. And talk through the practical stuff, like how often do you need to change them, how do you dispose of them etc.

Original poster

ForeverBlowingBubbles · 18/04/2008 13:59

Thanks for all the lovely, helpful replies. My daughter is actually home educated so is with me most of the time anyway. So, fortunately for her, she will not begin her periods at breaktime just before a PE lesson as I did and have to endure a hideous 'chat' with the PE teacher!!

I will buy her some pads and put them away for when the time comes and have a bit more of a reassuring chat with her. She has plenty of girl friends that she plays with frequently, but I'm not sure she would feel comfortable talking to them about this. I can't understand why she seems so embarrassed and worried about it all because we've always had a very open and honest relationship and she has always told me everything before. All part of growing up I suppose At least this explains where all the mood swings have been coming from lately!!

Any book recommendations anyone has would be gratefully received, she loves books so I have no doubt that a good one would help her understand it all better than I could.

OP posts:

belgo · 18/04/2008 14:06

I started to get pubic hair at age 9 but never got my periods until I was 12 and a half. No need to worry just yet.

hanaflower · 18/04/2008 14:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Meeely2 · 18/04/2008 14:09

here there are loads!

KITTENSOCKS · 18/04/2008 15:28

Definitely get a book or books, your DD will probably dip into them time and time again for reassurance. I think not knowing what is likely to happen is much worse. I would buy a few packs of different types of pads for her to try and see which suit her best. Apparently, Wilkinson stores do some small pads for young girls, a better size for smaller bodies. But it may be a good idea to get some more absorbent ones for night time use as they are likely to be worn for longer. DD doesn't need to know you have them, but you'll be prepared. Apparently, the average age to start menstruating is now 11, but it seems to be weight dependent, over 7 stones I think. It was certainly true that, when I was at school, the skinny girls were always the last to start! I think I grew pubic hair two years before my first period.

I think it is normal to be apprehensive about the unknown, will it hurt, etc, but you can let her know that it can all be coped with, and she will wonder why she was so concerned!!

Laugs · 18/04/2008 18:10

Like Belgo said, I had pubic hair at 9

I remember because I was in the toilet with another girl who pinted out I had loads, don't think I'd even noticed before that! -

but didn't start my period til 12ish. I wouldn't panic. She may well have a long time to go.

Alambil · 19/04/2008 11:41

What's wrong with celebrating this huge step in a child's life? My dad got me a ring to mark the occasion; nothing to hide or shameful about growing up.

Usborne usually do good books on puberty - not too graphic but are accurate etc.

barnstaple · 19/04/2008 12:00

My dd(8) started growing pubic hair about 6m ago. She was worried too. I looked up early puberty on google and wasn't hugely reassured but did realise that she wouldn't be the only one in her class. I went on mumsnet too to ask about it. People said more or less what they're saying to you - it could be a long time before periods etc start. I told her that it was normal, and that there will lots of other girls in her class who are the same; could she tell which ones? No she couldn't. So they wouldn't be able to tell about her either. Chat continued that probably not much else would happen for a long time.

She's not worried about it now, and nothing else has happened.

Good luck.

SoupKitchen · 19/04/2008 12:05

I must have been a freak of nature got pubic hair at 9 boobs of a sort at 11 but didnt start periods til 16.5

barnstaple · 19/04/2008 12:09

Here's a good Usborne book

TsarChasm · 19/04/2008 12:10

An endocinologist (sp?) told me that periods are the very last thing to kick in as a rule.

They grow up so fast don't they? I want to wrap mine up until they're old enough to cope with all that...35 maybe?

pleaseletmesleep · 19/04/2008 14:46

The Let's Talk About... range of books are really good, we have the Let's talk about where babies come from and Let's talk about sex (which also covers growing up, periods, changing bodies etc) books for dsd (10).

Here - Let's Talk About Sex

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