HELP Witching hour(s!!!!)

[PinkPepper95]

Help!!
I don’t know how much longer I can cope with this. 😭😭
Baby boy currently is 14 weeks old (8 weeks corrected). exclusively breast feeding. We are having such a hard time with sleep.
Come 7pm we have witching hours from hell, we have tried earlier bedtime, rocking/ swaddling in a dark room with white noise, walks in baby carrier, baths, feeding. Nothing works or if it does only for a few minutes. We don’t know what to do 😥
He has 5 hours worth of daytime sleep- will only nap if in the baby carrier which is fine, but I am exhausted as he doesn’t want me to sit down and my back is in agony!
Do we need a routine? Earlier bedtime? Later bedtime?

Been there. I think all of us, or at least most of us have, at some point. Bless you, it's so hard and feels like it will go on forever although it really won't, I promise.

I don't have experience of premature babies so I don't fully know how the age adjustment thing goes. But he's pretty tiny, so I wouldn't spend hours focusing on the 7pm bedtime.

You need to tag team so everyone is at least getting some sleep.

I also wonder if you have considered if he has colic? If he's screaming a lot particularly in the evenings.

I think it peaks around 6 weeks or so, so I can imagine that being 8 weeks corrected sounds like that's where you might be? Are you having regular visits to/from HCPs?

I agree with PP, don't worry about early bedtimes at this age. I'm sure DD was going to bed at like 10pm...I remember in desperation wearing a sling, us both naked and breastfeeding! It's such a hard time.

I'd probably prioritise keeping yourself calm, if baby screams either way, can you get some headphones and listen to some music or a podcast? Reach out for help from family/friends and healthcare professionals aswell x

Another one who didn't have bedtimes at that age. BF babies like to "tank up" in the early evening so I kept them downstairs with me and just watched TV with DH being my snack supplier.

If the cluster feeding got too much DH would take them out for a walk or drive.

Have a read of this on Kellymom

Yes we had this too. Nothing we tried really worked except at about 3 months old it did just stop!

That sounds really tough. My advice would be to ditch the bed time routine completely. I don't think I started it until about 9 months. At the stage you are at, baby cluster fed in the evenings and went to bed with me. I had a next to me for her and we both snuggled in in my bed before I moved her over. Taking the pressure off doing the ' right thing' and doing what feels right for you will ease your stress and, as a result, your baby's stress. I know by his age it feels like he's getting bigger but he's still tiny. He'll want to be in contact with you at all times. Stress will also up his want to feed as bf brings comfort as well as food. Will he snuggle in to feed while you watch tv on the sofa? I watched so many box sets during those times. Even when my daughter went to sleep I kept her snuggled with me until my bed time as she would wake every time I put her down.

She's three now btw and is the easiest of all three year olds I know to put to bed these days so it didn't 'spoil' her in any way.

This makes me feel better, I keep seeing everyone saying there 3 month old goes to bed 7-7 and have been thinking what am I doing wrong!!
cluster feeding used to settle him but this week he’s been having a feed and then carrying on crying straight after he comes off? We did manage to get him to have a nap 7-9ish last night by just putting him back in the baby carrier.. that’s almost 7 hours he spent yesterday in the carrier, surely can’t be good for them?!

That’s good to hear that your 3 year old is doing well with sleep now! He will feed, but he’s now stopped falling to sleep after a feed too. Eyes just ping open as soon as he’s finished feeding @whoknowswhattodonow

that’s almost 7 hours he spent yesterday in the carrier, surely can’t be good for them?!

Depends on what type of carrier it is. I think that some are not recommended as they place the hips too far apart but a normal sling will be fine and actually the closeness of you/DH will help him to regulate his breathing and hormone levels.

And as for those 3 month olds sleeping 7 till 7, I've never met one!

Don't forget to save your reading for evidence based only. Lots of Baby Guru books are not evidence based, and some of those Gurus have never even had a baby of their own

I've just kind of come out of this mine is 11 weeks now and was born at 38 weeks some things I now realise :

I wasn't very in tune with her wake windows now I watch her tired signs (red eye brows , red eyes , rubbing eyes ) I know it's time for a nap then if she gets over tired there is hell to pay come about 7pm and it could take hours to settle her

By the same token sometimes I don't think she was tired enough and I was rushing to get her to sleep to quickly so now I watch her face closely if she isn't starting to close her eyes within 5 minutes of me rocking her I stop go to a bright room and try again in 10-15 minutes

The biggest thing I have discovered very recently is a pitch dark room I mean I can barely see her face , she passes out like nothing else il. And I have spent 5/6 weeks battling every nap and every bedtime to get her to sleep

Also a white noise machine I turn it on and leave it one for every nap and going to bed .

I hope that helps as I really was at the end of my sanity but all the above together have made a big difference it's still not perfect but so much better than it was

Also I'm reading the C.A.L.M approach by Hannah love and I'm going to implement it

Hope you're having a better evening tonight @PinkPepper95

@Snowdrops17 thank you this is so helpful to read! Reading your comment I wonder if I’m being too quick to try and get him down for naps which is resulting in taking much longer and leaving with a stressed mum and baby!

what do your evenings look like now?

so glad things have improved for you!

@PolaroidPrincess thank you, it’s actually been much better! DH put him in the carrier around 7 and took him for a walk, he slept until 9, had a quick feed and has gone back to sleep!!!

That use. To work for my DC2 abd it gave me a break. Glad it's worked for you too

Have you tried gripe water? It was a life saver for us, I had it on Amazon subscribe and save! Any night we didn't have it we really struggled, any other night was so much better.

There no routine as such as In specific times she's too young but baby has 5 naps a day usually . Nap, wakes up , change nappy , bottle & play back to sleep.

I make sure I put her down on her play mat to tire herself out kicking and playing and or tummy time and watch for her tired signs

I do the same things every nap and bedtime so she knows it's sleep time but I will be adding to this as per the C.A.L.M approach I'm reading

Close curtains to make room dark
White noise machine
Need to add sleep bag every time (too hot today didn't want to start changing clothes)
Always putting down to sleep in the same place and room (crib, bed etc)

Once she is tired enough in the evenings I bring her to my bedroom do the same routine make sure it's pitch dark , last few evenings she's been asleep pretty quick and in a deep sleep which she never usually is .

She won't fall asleep anywhere else though if we leave the house her whole day is thrown off as she fights her sleep and wants to see what's going on and this is my next thing to grackle as I'm literally stuck in the house can't go anywhere so definitely not perfect yet but way better than it was even 4 weeks ago. I definitely think maybe your baby isn't tired enough at times I've been there and have spent hours upon hours trying to get her to sleep also make sure your soothing them to sleep the same way each time don't switch things up so if your rocking for one nap time don't say Pat them to sleep the next time keep it consistent

Loud white noise , very dark room, rock / shush / pat bum from side to side
No talking

The only thing that worked for my little girl was a swing, I would put her in that and she would fall asleep. I would then watch her like a hawk because it's obviously not safe as her head could flop. She's now 20 weeks (16 corrected) and I'm pleased to say we haven't dealt with witching since about 14 weeks actual.

Could it be colic or reflex.
Would you consider topping his feeds up with a formula bottle incase he needs it.
My son wouldn't settle just on the breast and I had to do this, he slept a lot better.
I also put the cot next to my bed and would hold his had so he wasn't constantly on me, I also put an item of my clothing in the cot, so it was like as if I was near.

Here for solidarity. My baby (12weeks/7 weeks corrected) is also not the best night time sleeper. She sleeps so easily during the day but when it comes to the night it's a struggle.

I feel your pain.reading this thread helped

When my little one was witching we used to just feed feed feed and wear her. We used to just walk around for about an hour with her in the baby carrier and that kept her fairly calm.
Make sure you tag team your other half in so the load is shared. We found sleeping in shifts very helpful. Perhaps look at expressing a bottle of milk a day so you can get a slightly longer stretch of sleep?