Seeking reassurance re teen DD

[Tiredofthewhirring]

Apologies it's another health anxiety thread.,

My DH died suddenly of bowel cancer, everyone missed it. 3 weeks from diagnosis to death. Kids were 3 and a newborn,

Hence I'm extremely anxious about their health and missing something,

DD 14 gets stomach ache about 1-2 times per week. Generally I ascribe this to the fact she eats 90 percent of her calories in the evening (she's not a breakfast person and hates eating at school)

We're on holiday and she's had more stomach aches than usual. Again, it's not surprising, she's eating lots of fatty food and having more fizzy drinks. Lots of acidic food etc. She sometimes feels a bit nauseous along with the ache.

My rational brain tells me she's a bit sensitive of stomach and needs to balance her diet to avoid flare ups. Eat vege etc.

My irrational brain is doom googling and convinced something awful will happen to her.

Can I have some reassurance that teens eating different diets, holidays etc can all lead to stomach aches? Stories of other teens? A grip handed to me pls?

I've had therapy in the past for this problem and will be seeking more. It's exhausting. I want to be able to have normal reactions to my kids minor illnesses!!!

My dd who is a bit younger but has started her periods gets a lot of stomach aches. I think some of it may be hormonal and there seem some weeks when she regularly complains of them and then not at all.
i don’t think it is uncommon at all. Don’t let it spoil your holiday. It’s completely understandable why you have anxiety in this area, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about.

My 15 year old has had this recently-mainly on holiday too. She’s just done a stool sample and has a blood test tomorrow. I’m sure all will be fine but we felt it was worth checking it out.

@Thelondonone sorry to hear this, can I ask what prompted you to seek investigation?

@Rumplestiltz

She's pretty good at identifying period pain, did your DD get actual stomach cramps in addition to?

ok I think you need to balance spiralling out to it being something awful like cancer and the fact that it is something that needs to be investigated as a potential food intolerance including gluten. I would get a blood and stool sample done too so the diet can be tweaked

mine with similar symptoms was lactose intolerant - turned out to be not to be a problem as she was on the verge on veganism and this made her become one

Mainly to stop her moaning on! I think, like you, that is was the change in diet on holiday. Might be a slight dairy allergy when we looked at her food diary. Even at home she eats little and often so big meals on holiday made her a bit sick. However, I never really thought bowel cancer and neither did the doc. Checking for infections and allergies really-she’s not losing weight so I’m not concerned.

@Tiswa

I did wonder about gluten. Could get her to keep a food diary I guess?

Just not sure what the threshold for investigation is for these things.

@Thelondonone

See, this is the kind of rational reaction I would like to have, rather than blanket fear!

My partner died of a heart attack out of nowhere when our daughter was small, so I totally understand your feelings, it never goes away does it :(

Have you seen this article about bowel changes when we travel? It's specifically about constipation but it's likely to also be what is going on with your daughter:
https://www.theguardian.com/wellness/article/2024/aug/16/travel-constipation-health#:~:text=%E2%80%9CPeople%20tend%20to%20consume%20more,dehydrating%20and%20thus%20exacerbate%20constipation.

I am sorry for the devastating loss of your husband. I think you may be overcompensating for what are actually valid concerns because I don’t think stomach aches several times a week every week are normal. Yes a bit of cramping in the days leading up to your period is normal, but her stomach aches don’t follow her cycle so can’t be caused by that imho.

If it’s diet related, then it is likely to be a food intolerance of some kind. I’d have her keep a food diary that logs everything she eats, when and then the start and stop of every tummy ache. I did this with my DS and lo and behold, he is intolerant to raw bananas.

It might be something else so I would take her to GP for stool sample and to be tested for h. pylori (it’s a virus you can catch that causes stomach ulcers)

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

I don't think it's several times a week at home. More like once a week when she's forgotten to eat all day and then overeats. Which isn't great but she's a teen and there's only so much I can do to force breakfast in, many of her peers don't eat lunch at school.

Raw bananas? I have never heard of that one!

She's going to hate the idea of a food diary..will try and persuade her

If you have a decent GP they should look at it - mine has Raynauds so some of it was from that as blood tests had to rule out stuff and managing diet is part of it

look at a food diet as well and work out if she is eating anything different

too much fatty food as well certainly can cause issues!

I would start looking into it being diet related

What does she overeat - always the same stuff it could be as minor as a slight intolerance or she overloads her system with one tjing

forgettinf to eat doesn’t help either and can cause issues - it does look to be diet based

Yeah, apparently bananas have a protein that mimics the protein in rubber latex, and so just as often as latex, some people are intolerant and others have a straight up allergy to bananas. Also if you are intolerant or allergic to one, you are likely intolerant or allergic to the other.

@Tiswa

Carbs and fats! Her diet isn't great. But she had some minor eating issues a while ago and stopped eating, so I'm not going to nag her too much on that front.

Diet this holiday has been pastries, pizza, cheese...even I have the odd stomach ache to fair..and cheese dreams!

She's going to hate the idea of a food diary..will try and persuade her

It will give her agency to be a detective to figure out why she has tummy aches and nausea. I’m sure she would rather be able to eat without having tummy aches and nausea. In fact, the fear of being at school in pain or nauseous might be why she is choosing to not risk eating until dinner time.

@SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice

That is interesting!

Well just to completely disagree with the latest comments, I don't think this warrants further investigation just on the basis of 1-2 stomach aches a week. I think that's within the realms of normal based on what you've said about her diet and eating patterns.

This is a fairly easy one to investigate to home, and is more likely diet and routine based.

If she's eating late at night you need to put a limit on that, no food after 7pm and possibly lighter meals that are less carb heavy, a 20 minute walk around the block to get the digestives system going afterwards.

If that doesn't help, a food diary and look for common triggers - presumably you know most of what she is eating so can do so on her behalf.

Then if necessary an allergy test for food allergies and intolerances.

Or, it could be entirely stress related, and some IBS medication or similar might be more appropriate to relieve muscle cramps and a visit to the doctor for that. I think buscopan helps with that

That must have been such an awful shock so it's totally understandable you feel so anxious now
There are absolutely loads of reasons why your DD may have a stomach ache regularly and 99.9% of them are no reason for concern.
At 14 it may be hormonal. It may be due to travelling as many people find their digestion is altered whilst travelling which can cause some pain. It may be she is a little anxious herself which can cause stomach pain. Lack of sleep can cause it. And like you say just eating heavier later in the day closer to when you will lie down to sleep can cause it.
Unless she is on extreme pain and/or has a very high temperature and other markers of illness it's just probably one of those things listed.
I get nausea when I go on holiday and I have done all my life and I'm perfectly healthy.
You could take her to gp when you get home but given her age and that it's just mild discomfort, they are just going to assume it's from those things listed too.
Yes she does have a family history of bowel cancer but even with that it is so so incredibly rare for someone her age to develop it. Perhaps it's something she should be checked for as she reaches a certain age in adulthood. But at 14 and with only mild stomach ache on holiday it's not going to be that.
My dad dropped dead very suddenly last year at the age of 63. There was absolutely no warning at all. He appeared in perfect health, I had been talking to him at his usual cafe in the morning. He was happy and appeared well. And then he just died whilst sat on the sofa in the evening. So quietly and suddenly my mum hadn't noticed and couldn't even say exactly when it had happened. She just thought he had fallen asleep.
So I understand the terror. It's so hard when someone dies out of nowhere like that. And of course it does happen in life to some people sometimes. And that's just really scary. No obvious signs at all. I look back and think 'oh he had a headache a few days before' or 'he felt a bit dizzy whilst doing the gardening' the week before.. and why didn't we do something! But of course absolutely everyone occasionally gets headaches or occasionally gets and it's just nothing.
It's so hard to accept this. And also to then accept that every twinge in your loved ones bodies isnt a warning of imminent death.
Terrible tragedies do happen but they are rare. No one can completely tell you they don't ever happen.
But you have to live your life without being in constant terror over illness.
You know that a mild stomach ache in an otherwise healthy 14 year old girl is one of those things in that list of mundane stuff I put. You wouldn't think twice about it if what had happened to you hadn't happened.
I'm so sorry you are going through this it's so hard. X

Sorry but I think it should be checked out. I have just recalled by DB who had an umbilical hernia from birth, but it wasn’t caught until adulthood. What happened with him is that now and then, his small intestine would be pushed into the hernia (a gap in the muscles of the abdomen) and this would pinch off part of the intestine for several days. His digestive system would then back up and cause him tummy aches and nausea. It was totally random as well, because normal movement would cause the intestine to slip back in, the digestive system would catch up and he’d be fine for a while, until the next time it got caught in the hernia.

My parents ignored it and thought it was normal and he had them due to stress from school or had eaten too many sweets.

All it took was a simple bit of surgery to correct.

Thank you @SugarandSpiceandAllThingsNaice that is interesting to know. Don't think it's anything like that with DD as the pain goes quite quickly. But I think a food diary and a GP app are good next steps

Parents ignored a lot in the 80s and 90s!

Have you thought it might be emotional? My DS feels everything in his stomach. If he is ever the slightest bit worried, anxious, excited etc he gets tummy cramps. It took us a long time to put 2 and 2 together.

@Pookerrod

I don't think so as she seems irritated by it rather than worried in herself.

Youngest DD 100 percent get anxiety stomachs, every morning before school....

Get her to keep a food diary and a BM diary and then bring her to the doctors if there’s anything unusual.