Your tips for looking after a newborn and 2 year old?

[Givemepickles]

DS1 has just turned two. He's full of energy and is now in nursery full time, which he loves. However I'd like to have him home more and used to have him 2 days a week and work part time. I miss him.

I'm on mat leave with DC2 who's 11 weeks. So far I've not been on my own with them much because of ds1 being in nursery and I'm lacking in confidence about looking after them both alone.

I've got a day next week where I'll have them both by myself. What should I plan? Should I try and take them out? Organise a play date? Stay home? Any ideas for how to entertain DS1? He's mostly into cars and transport toys and physical activity. Not interested in colouring or crafts and is only just 2 so short attention span. I'm breastfeeding DS2 so that takes time and he's also now napping badly in his buggy. He's preferring peace and quiet in his moses basket. Do I sacrifice DS2 naps to keep DS1 happy?

Really appreciate advice of those who've had this age gap.

There's a book called "coping with two" by two female authors. One of them is Simone someone. I found it very helpful with practicalities

Are you taking DS2 to any playgroups? Maybe see what's on locally and take them both?

If you don't fancy that I'd at least take them both to the Park for a time in the morning. Is DC1 still napping after lunch?

I used to do an activity like playgroup on the morning and usually the park after nap time and a snack.

Can you read to DS1 whilst you feed or maybe let him watch CBeebies for a show or two?

Sorry just thought of something else, try breast compressions to spied uo the feeds. My DC2 actually started doing these themselves at one point as they didn't seem to want to miss what DC1 was upto

You won't regret having him home even though it's hard.

I had both mine home until age 3. Then they went to nursery for 3 hours a day.

There are 22 months between them.

I’ve got the same gap and both home with me all week. It’s not that bad really, feels daunting but once you get into the swing of it it’s great (not easy but looking after children never is easy!).

Id normally go to a playgroup in the morning - baby nap in the sling on the way there/ once we got there. Then home and get them to sleep at the same time for lunchtime nap - got the baby to sleep first (mine is very quick to go to sleep after the excitement of playgroup) whilst toddler watches numberblocks. Then time to either nap with them or read a book with a cup of tea!

Afternoon would be a quick lunch and then out on a walk in the forest/ down to the playground. Baby naps in the sling again. Back home around 5. Husband back from work to do the dinner around 5:30.

The thought is worse than the reality of dealing with both. There are 16 months between mine and DC2 just had to adapt to sleeping in the pram/sling whilst I entertained DC1. I breastfed on the go.

I'd take DC1 to a playgroup/soft play/the park and DC2 will cope.

And yes, as pp said, go out first thing, home for lunchtime (or just after if you have lunch out) and chilled afternoon, a little TV, playing with cats etc.

A sling really helps too. I used to pop DC2 in whilst we were at playgroup or the park so I could walk around and had my hands free.

I have a 21 months gap. A dummy was a game changer - the 2nd got used to take his feeds quickly rather than being constantly on my breast. (He did initially spat it out however I persevered). I found the only way to keep peace at home was to wear my boy out outdoors. Still it was tough. If I had a choice I would have gladly kept him in the nursery

Thanks foe replies. If I take the boys out how do I keep DS1 safe? I should mention my boys are very big so DS1 is the size of a 3 year old and runs fast. I can only catch him if I don't have baby in a sling. He also can refuse to get back in the buggy. When he does, I can't get him in even without a baby strapped to me. Those of you with this age gap how did you manage that?

Although my boys are big I'm not, they take after my husband. My 2 year old is over 16kg already so if I have to wrestle/carry him plus my baby I'd really struggle and he may accidentally injure the baby. But I agree getting out and tiring him is best!

I had a tandem double buggy that the oldest could climb and and out by himself and the baby slept in very well. I got for a fraction of the cost off Ebay, just paid £15 to be collected by courier (with prior agreement by the seller). You still won't be able to get your toddler in without his agreement. If you plan really well with sandwiches, a flask of hot water and a change of clothing you can easily spend the whole day outdoors. The buggy would have a big holding tray. I would also recommend New Toddler Taming book written by a paediatrician with a great sense of humour

One thing that worked for me was setting something up before I fed younger DC. The favourite was hiding teddies round the room to be found, and I could sit on the sofa saying warm and cold, so still interacting. Other things would be starting a puzzle or Duplo and they'd then finish it or she'd do little shows for me, that kind of thing. I found if I tried to have her entertain herself while DC was fed, she'd normally harass the dog!

Out as much as possible in the fresh air as well. Also, swimming is hard the first few times but gets easier the more you do it.

Get some reins for the big one