Hey OP, what makes you think you are making it stressful? Comparing with dad? Sometimes kids are just little monsters especially when tired and know how to push our buttons!
For us, with DD almost 4, bedtime routine is something like:
Run bath at set time, get her in when it's ready, let her play for 15 mins or so. Getting her out can be a challenge so often bath is followed by a 'who can get their pyjamas on first!!' race... not very calming but gets the job done!
Then we dim lights, let DD choose two stories which obviously vary in time depending on which ones she chooses... this is the bit where usually(!) she calms down!
Then into bed, cuddles, kisses and goodnight. It's not always the same exact time she's into bed, sometimes tantrums happen if she's overtired, sometimes she picks looong stories and ends up later to bed. But on average, roughly the same routine each night and she gets enough sleep.
I wonder if it would help to identify what exact part you/DD are finding stressful and tackling that? I wonder if she/you are quite rightly also still adjusting to new baby?
It's tough OP, they like to test us but I like to remind myself it's only for a few short years....!