Gym or rugby. WWYD?

[Jam177]

My 4yo DD started a Saturday morning gym class at the start of the year. She seems to enjoy it but I'm not very keen. She goes off into a room for half an hour and parents wait in the foyer. There is never any interaction or feedback from the teachers. It seems the girls in the group don't really talk to each other during the sessions.

Yesterday, while gym had a summer break, she tried out a rugby tots group. It was a whole different vibe - the teacher was so warm and welcoming, parents are present for the class and encouraged to get involved. We went along as a family, and there was even space for our 1yo to have a run around at the other end of the hall. We all had such a lovely time. DD knew a couple of the other kids there who she also had fun with.

We asked her afterwards which class she wants to do for the forthcoming term, fully expecting her to say rugby after how much she seemed to enjoy it, but she's adamant that she wants to continue with gym. Sounds silly but I'm gutted. She's starting school in September so obviously we'll see less of her in the week and it was so lovely that we could do the rugby class all together. As well as all the other negatives I mentioned about gym, it's also 9.30 start whereas rugby is 10.30 which gives us all a more relaxed start on a Saturday morning after a hectic week of getting up and out.

What would you do? I feel like we have to go with her decision of gym but it would be so much nicer for the whole family if she went with rugby. x

Honestly at this age, I would just have said that the gym class is unfortunately full so until a place frees up, we'll be doing rugby and see if she forgets about it. If she still misses it/asks for it after a few months, I'd go back to gymnastics.

Ps. Are you sure you are up for rugby classes in the cold winter nights though? 😂

I think at that age it's about having fun and enjoying activity, putting the foundations in for a healthy lifestyle. Having had 3 children who have between them done karate, gymnastics, football, rugby, netball, swimming, dancing, golf and athletics, I think go with what she wants. My youngest didn't like the structure and competitiveness of gymnastics and dance but thrives at rugby, being part of a team, and yes they do compete but there is still a camaraderie between them all. But then you say gym, not gymnastics so if it is just a fun class to get them burning off some energy, a bit like school PE rather than the whole earning badges/ sparkly leotard thing. In which case will she be happy with school PE and rugby will be bit different?

Tell her gym is cancelled, go to rugby.

BUT is it something like rugby tots, or proper rugby at a club? I would do the latter not the former at her age.

Thank you for your replies 😊 @PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister it is rugby tots. Why do you say that? Too old for it now? I'm not too familiar, we only went to the one session and all had lots of fun. X

Honestly, at 4 and just starting school, I can’t really imagine going to a 9:30 or even 10:30 class every Saturday. They need downtime to decompress and you need family time, not another morning to pack up and rush out of the house. I’d give it a term off and re-visit later.

Rugby, definitely. One of mine has done it since year one and the eldest from years 6-8, then an enforced break and is just about to re-start as has missed it so much.

Rugby is a brilliant sport for girls, very inclusive, all shapes and sizes and a positive atmosphere. I also find it’s quite sociable on the sidelines too.

@Jam177 yes! You will do one year and be out of it. At a rugby club you will start at the youngest team and then just move through.

All 3 of mine have done it, all 3 started in reception and all have made such friends because they’ve moved through with them (and the big one is now in year 8!).

Also, probably significantly cheaper…

Having spent many cold, wet winters standing on football and hockey touchlines, I would have loved my kids to be doing an indoor sport!

Now you've given your DD the choice, I think you need to stick with gym for another term - you can always start rugby at a later date.

Why do you need feedback from the teachers if gymnastics?? She's 4, they'll just be doing fun exercises working in balance, strength and flexibility, might be working towards forward rolls etc. there's not much to say about it tbh.

The reason in gymnastics they don't want parents hovering is because you're basically in the fucking way and will interfere with the teaching/practice.

I'd go with rugby and say the gym class is full.

In your original post it is clear that this is what you'd prefer, so be the parent and take control.

I’d go with what she wants. It’s her club after all. Ive pushed my daughter to do clubs I thought were great and it was a battle getting her there as she didn’t love it. The one she desperately wanted to carry on with she loves and skips in to each week.

Don’t give up the gym she enjoys to go to rugby tots which she’s borderline too old for. The usual is to ‘graduate’ from rugby tots to a proper rugby club reception year. Now if she’d trailed at a proper rugby club and enjoyed it I’d definitely push that over the gymnastics but definitely not for a preschooler activity that she’s really too old for. Also now that you’ve given her the choice I think it would be harsh not to stick with that at least for this term. Then I would find a rugby club and see if she can try that in the spring term, they’re usually very keen to have girls and hopefully she’ll love it!

so you dont even get to see the gymnastics?

if she is adamant she wants to do gym then go with it,
things might change once she starts school

Go for rugby tots - it’s a great club. A real rugby club will be cold and wet for a 4 year old over the winter. I’d make the decision for her and do the best thing for the whole family .

Rugby tots is usually for pre-schoolers.

If she is happy at gym and you can afford it let her continue.