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Hope (or just solidarity) - sibling rivalry 12 &15

4 replies

parrotonmyshoulder · 24/08/2024 17:43

I know there will be many tales of siblings who get on wonderfully and for whom family life is a dream. I need to hear from other parents who, despite their best efforts in bringing up their offspring to this point, with adequate attention, understanding of their needs, acceptance of their different personalities etc etc, have ended up with two (or more!) children who cannot tolerate each other’s presence.
Any advice, horror stories, or reassurance that it might actually end up okay? Both think the other is the devil incarnate. Divide and rule works well. Is that the only answer?
Both have additional needs, not well understood by each other, so this may add to the tension, although is neither an excuse nor the only cause. They feel they have nothing in common any more and both remember fondly the days when they played happily together.
I think going back to school will help, although the younger one hates school so is more miserable and prone to outbursts at home. Older one needs down time away from him but manages this better on school days.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
PolaroidPrincess · 24/08/2024 18:32

Could the additional needs include ADHD by any chance? Just wondering if they're Dopamine seeking?

parrotonmyshoulder · 24/08/2024 19:08

Yes, one of them might be dopamine seeking actually. Looks like provocation. He does it to us (parents) too - provokes until we explode. Very good and helpful point, thank you. We will try some redirection.

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PolaroidPrincess · 24/08/2024 19:13

I have two with ADHD. You have my sympathy OP!

Come on over to the SN Teens section and join us over there Flowers

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parrotonmyshoulder · 24/08/2024 19:31

Thanks, I will!

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