I have two dds, dd1 is almost 3 and dd2 is 7 months.
When dd2 arrived, my husband and I made sure we did all the right things regarding dd1. We each spent one on one time with her, we continued taking her to her usual activities and play dates and we praised her for being such a good big sister. She seemed to take it in her stride and was mostly unbothered by the baby.
However, over the past couple of weeks her behaviour has completely changed and I am struggling to know how to handle it. I have never had problems with her behaviour before and she hardly ever had a tantrum whereas now she has them all the time. She has always been very vivacious, chatty, funny and happy but she has become so emotional, crying and whining from the minute she wakes up (5am every day) to the minute she goes to bed. She has also become really clingy and often sleeps in our bed which is completely unheard of. Often when she is screaming and crying she asks me to cuddle her and I always make sure I do. She has also started hitting and pushing her friends which is so embarrassing and I don't know how to get her to stop. I have tried telling her to use gentle hands, tried putting her in time out until she calms down, tried explaining why hitting is wrong, tried giving her a firmer telling off, tried taking her straight home but she just does it again.
I suspect she is jealous of her baby sister as she has recently started crawling and pulling herself up on furniture and I think she seems like much more of a little person now than a helpless baby, so maybe she is more of a threat to dd1 now? I don't know.
We have always had a lovely bond and I am very affectionate towards her. I always tell her I love her and how special she is to me. I try to handle her tricky behaviour as calmly as possible but there has been a few times where I have lost my temper as she has pushed me to the limit. I get hardly any sleep because both of the children are rubbish sleepers and share a room so they wake each other up constantly so I am exhausted and feel unable to stay as calm as I'd like sometimes. I am a stay at home mum and I get no break from the children as my husband works long hours all week. I am at the end of my tether as the constant crying and whining is wearing me down and nothing I do helps. I understand that her behaviour is her way of communicating and something is clearly wrong, but I don't know how to help her. I also feel dreadful for dd2 who is always in the background while I tackle violent tantrums all day.
Any tips on how to tackle this would be so appreciated as I really miss my happy girl.