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9 week old suddenly hates being held by others

3 replies

AvidDuck · 23/08/2024 11:01

I need some advice and help if possible as I am really struggling mentally with this - my nine week old over the last week or two has decided she hates everyone other than my husband and I. She previously had no issues at all, having been held by other people (even when I’m not in the room) since birth. I am not precious about being the only one to hold her at all - in fact I actively encouraged others to hold her in the hopes of preventing a situation like this. This includes my mum, her grandma who she has spent nearly every day with her whole life as we lived with my parents when we had her as we were in the process of moving house. She will just cry inconsolably the second she is passed over to someone and it’s starting to get me down and not want to take her out. On the odd occasion we’ve persevered with my mum with me being next to them both when she’s being held, but it only works to get her to sleep on the odd occasion. Surely she’s too young for separation anxiety? And if it’s to do with me (I am exclusively bf’d her), why is she ok with my husband as well?

She is also a very sleep needs heavy baby, getting overtired very quickly when again will become inconsolable if left even a minute too long - her wake windows are between 30mins - 1.5 hours at an absolute push. She will now only nap in her wrap on either me or my husband (once on my mum after much protesting), and I am now getting incredible touched out and starting to resent the whole situation which I really don’t want to do.

Anyone been through anything similar? Any advice? I appreciate that I may not be able to do anything for the next few weeks as she’s still in the fourth trimester, but any light at the end of the tunnel stories would be appreciated. Thank you.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mrsttcno1 · 23/08/2024 13:33

Sadly no advice but solidarity! My little girl is 4.5 months now and from maybe 6/7 weeks has been the same, won’t settle for anybody other than me, even my husband is hit & miss now. It is so hard and a bit overwhelming because it’s just impossible to get a break but I keep telling myself it won’t last and eventually I’ll miss these days! X

AvidDuck · 23/08/2024 16:19

Mrsttcno1 · 23/08/2024 13:33

Sadly no advice but solidarity! My little girl is 4.5 months now and from maybe 6/7 weeks has been the same, won’t settle for anybody other than me, even my husband is hit & miss now. It is so hard and a bit overwhelming because it’s just impossible to get a break but I keep telling myself it won’t last and eventually I’ll miss these days! X

Thanks so much for the reply - solidarity really does help doesn’t it, otherwise you end up in a pit thinking you’re the only one going through it! Sorry to hear you’re finding it overwhelming too. The only thing that really is saving me is the wrap at the moment, at least if I’m touched out I can still moved around which helps me mentally a bit. I hope you get some respite soon and your little one gives you a bit of a break! X

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 23/08/2024 17:30

AvidDuck · 23/08/2024 16:19

Thanks so much for the reply - solidarity really does help doesn’t it, otherwise you end up in a pit thinking you’re the only one going through it! Sorry to hear you’re finding it overwhelming too. The only thing that really is saving me is the wrap at the moment, at least if I’m touched out I can still moved around which helps me mentally a bit. I hope you get some respite soon and your little one gives you a bit of a break! X

It does massively help! If you haven’t already I’d really recommend starting to attend even just one baby group, it makes such a huge difference making mum friends who are going through the same things that you are, it stops you feeling so alone! I’m hoping she will settle soon and fingers crossed yours does too! X

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