2 year old - extremely fussy eater

[CornflowerSky]

My 2 year old DD has gradually become more and more fussy with her eating. Breakfast is usually fine and involves yoghurt or toast and butter, all of which she eats. Until a few months ago, she would try a good portion of a cooked meal in the evening, and for vegetables ate broccoli, green beans, peas, carrots and sweetcorn. She also used to like grains, while weaning.

As she's advanced into toddlerhood, she's gradually dropped more and more foods. There are now NO vegetables that she will eat and the only meat she'll eat is sausages. She refuses all grains/potatoes etc. She even hates lots of foods toddlers usually enjoy, such as pasta and pizza.

I do not give her packaged snacky foods (except sometimes on picnics) so it's not that she thinks these are an option. I don't give her unhealthy alternatives when she refuses a meal. At mealtimes, I follow the advice to just place the meal in front of her and make no comment, then take it away at the end. But she simply doesn't try ANYTHING on her plate.

As for what she does eat, it's extremely limited but she basically eats fruit, eggs, baked beans, yoghurt, toast, cheese, sausages, butter, bread. (Obviously if offered she would gladly eat uhealthy things like cakes, biscuits, chips, chicken nuggets... but I very rarely give her these, only at parties or social occasions etc).

I don't know what to do anymore. Literally every dinner time she just sits there. If I ever (very rarely) gently suggest she tries something or point out what's on her plate, she throws her head back and shouts NO, but I'm not even being particularly pushy. Most of the time I say nothing. She hasn't eaten a single vegetable or piece of meat (that isn't sausage) in months. She has a cup of milk a day which we put vitamins in, I'm guessing that's why she doesn't look like she's seriously deficient in anything. She's a healthy weight.

She is generally a very cautious child. She isn't one of these toddlers that charges around and is "into everything", she's wary of anything new. But it's not like I'm even giving her new foods - these were all things she gladly ate when she was weaning. She was never a super eater (I've seen babies/toddlers devour their food - she was never like that, but she used to gladly munch away at a few vegetables and have a few spoonfuls of her meal).

There hasn't been any big event that could have triggered this, it's just been a gradual thing. I'm a SAHM so she isn't eating anything in a childcare setting.

Can anyone give me any advice or hope? I'm feeling so guilty, like I'm failing her as she just isn't eating a balanced diet at all. It doesn't help to "look atw what she eats over a week not a day", because in general she's just NEVER eating outside the very limited list I gave.

Also have a selective eater toddler so I feel your pain! I've tried cooking with him, we eat together, being strict on no replacement meals, etc. and he still just loves his beige food. From what I can tell this is super common for this age.

When I have time to bake (rarely) I make oat bread or mini apple oat muffins that he will eat as a healthier alternative to regular bread. Or he loves making juice in the morning so when we have time I sneak beetroot and carrot into his apple juice for healthy ABC juice.

Other less time consuming things that help:

• Chopping teeny pieces of spinach into his egg.
• Picking multigrain cereals with added iron like Cheerios for snacks
• Anything in sausage form - I try get the ones from the butchers that are 90% pork or have added veggies. Or turkey / chicken sausages too.
• Sweet potato fries are a win for most toddlers as long as they're crispy - we get the strong roots brand of those.

Plus anything breaded - I try get breaded chicken or haddock from the butchers because it feels just a little healthier than Aldi! I've tried breading my own but I just don't have time for that to be regular.

Also, if she's more of a cautious child and not running round and climbing everything in sight, her calorie needs will be much lower than her peers who are running around a lot. Try not to compare to others

My DD is strange as she wont touch sweet potato in any form- it literally makes her gag. Normal potato fine.
I have come to accept that it seems to be a genuine dislike and have stopped trying for now.

Just thinking about it being evening meal that's mostly the issue- could you try serving her main meal at lunch time when she is less likely to be tired? Then a quick easy mostly safe meal in the evening

These are good ideas. I feel a bit guilty because I think I've been a bit lazy in some ways - I'm not very creative when it comes to things like making smoothies, disguising stuff in her safe foods, or shopping in the butcher's for better wuality sausages, so maybe I've not been trying hard enough to get good stuff into her. All I can say is I have tried making muffins with things in but she won't eat them.

Sadly that doesn't work. If it's not a safe food, she won't eat it no matter what time of day... I tried :(

Her list sounds fine, in that the food groups are covered. I read somewhere that for babies/ toddlers it's good to try to provide vitamin C, iron and calcium at each meal, and then you'll probably end up hitting all the other necessary nutrients anyway. You've got those well covered by the sound of it.

Fruit and vegetables are one group, so if she's eating a range of fruit she'll be getting all the nutrients present in vegetables.

I'd agree with chicken nuggets being fine if she likes them. Check for ones with fewer ingredients if it bothers you - M&S do some nice kids ones in the shape of bears that don't have sugar etc added.

My understanding of the safe food thing is that (over time) it makes them more likely to try new things because they (a) aren't as hungry and feel more up for trying stuff, (b) feel less stressed about the whole thing.

Try Kids Eat in Color for lots of practical tips (US site, hence spelling).

One tip she has is leaving cut up veg out on the table before the meal, e.g. tomatoes, carrots, red pepper, whatever you are using in the meal anyway. Say nothing. Chat about other stuff, prep the meal, whatever. Veg sticks look really appetising when you are hungry/thirsty, and you never know when a child might randomly take a bite.

I totally get why you're stressing, I have a nearly five year old who is picky but also not in a medically concerning way. It's definitely irritating beyond belief to cook stuff and have it rejected, or to have to search for a cafe that will make something she'll eat, but it's important to have some perspective if they are getting what they need. That's what I try to tell myself anyway...

Ohh yes kids eat in color is great. Very non judgemental too.

On the food group thing: DD is under a dietician for dairy allergy and we had an appointment at one of her really fussy stages but she wasn't concerned she said provided she is eating something from every food group it's fine. She reiterated the offering a safe food etc but otherwise wasn't bothered. She also said the same vitamins etc in fruit and veg so if she won't eat veg at the moment give her plenty of fruit.

Oh and baked beans count as on of your 5 a day! That fact saved my sanity for a while. 😂

My Dd had a long phase at 18m-2 of only eating cheese, potatoes and broccoli, and tantruming for chocolate. I kept offering her everything we were having and making sure there was something she would eat on her plate.

She now eats lots of stuff (she's nearly 3), but is still quite picky and still tantrums for chocolate.

Its most likely a phase, it has been a very long one for us and hopefully shorter for you, you will get through it.

Well that's an extreme example of something from every food group but she just about has it covered! 😂
Gosh I bet that was stressful.

I have no advice but my ds is exactly the same. Eats an identical list of foods to your dd (minus the beans) and is also a very cautious child. It started around 18 months and he's now 2.5. I was very stressed about it for a long time, followed all the all the picky eating advice which did not help (eating meals together, always serving a 'safe food', involving him in the cooking/prep) and it made no difference. Eventually I just accepted that I'm doing doing everything I can but I can't control what he chooses to put in his mouth so there's no point worrying about it. I'll keeping serving it but if he's picky forever then that's just how he is. However in the last week he's started tasting a few new foods (including vegetables!!!) and even though it's just a tiny bite it feels like huge progress, so maybe it is just a phase and he won't always be picky.

It is really frustrating though, especially when everyone else's kids seem to be great eaters. But they haven't done anything differently, they just got lucky!

If doesn't sound like you have anything to be guilty over - she's getting nutrients & they'll all grow out of it eventually. One day we'll be watching them eat a full Christmas dinner in shock. ❤️

I don't really have advice but I wanted to say my DC1 has always been a poor eater and at 6 they are soooooo much better than they were at 2! Just to give you some hope for the future, because I know one of the things I found hardest at that age was the wondering whether it would ever get better, and it gradually does! We still have plenty of meals that she barely touches but there are also plenty that she eats a decent portion of and her list of "absolutely no way will I touch that" foods/meals is much smaller than it was at 2. Often it's quite hit and miss so one day she will eat a meal and next week declare she doesn't like it and then eat it without fuss a further week later. But that in itself is so much progress!

Also my DC2 is almost 3 and has been a great eater from the get go even in this environment with fussy DC1. He's got a little bit toddler fussy over the past 6 months compared to before but still generally eats pretty well, better than DC1!

She sounds very normal! I think it's extremely typical for this age. My son is 2 years 8 months and we've just been through a mega fussy stage but he's eating a bit better again now.
For about 6 weeks all he ate was shreddies, the odd biscuit and fruit. Refused every meal.
Now he's eating fish pie again and homemade potato chicken pie and loves cauli flower/broccoli cheese with pasta as a meal.
I was a bit stressed with it and we tend to have these phases but like you I just offer the food and don't make a big deal of it. His choice if he eats it or not.
Your daughter's food list are foods that contain a lot of nutrients so I wouldn't worry too much. I guarantee she's getting exactly what she needs.
Toddler appetites are low for the most part. You do get toddlers that are more food orientated and polish off every meal but I think some of this comes down to personality . My little boy is usually too busy to want to eat 😅 and gets distracted easily.

Friends 4yo is fussy in the cliche toddler ways of won't touch a vegetable if he can see it, prefers to eat food off other people's plates etc. When he's being resistant to coming and sitting up at the table to eat food he tends to do better if he can have something like a carpet picnic, or eat sat on the sofa, or in a den built in a bedroom upstairs. Not ideal but if he eats lunch happily in a blanket den versus a screaming fight trying to get him to sit at a table, eg, whatever.

Have you tried any of the also cliche toddler approaches of making food into fun shapes? We used to love mashed potato volcanoes as kids, turn sandwiches into faces, get fun shapes of pasta like dinosaurs or zoo animals. And marketing can do a lot. Presenting the 4yo with a cheese cracker saying here you go here's a cracker, eh, he might eat it. Saying "ooh look what came in the shop today - showing the new packet, wow, we've got these new extra cheesy crispy biscuits! Ooh they look yummy. Would you like one? They're sooo crunchy and delicious." It's ridiculous and makes you sound like you're auditioning to be a second rate Blippi but it can pay off. Same with a lot of things - want a drink of water? Eh. Look I got you a fresh glass of lovely refreshing water, going "mmm, hydrating!" in a jokey way as they sip it, more likely to have a nice big drink from it.

Hi any updates please ? ☺️

My 24 months old eats

1. homemade lasagna
2. Pasta with pesto / homemade ricotta and tomatoes sauce
3. Homemade pork and egg meatballs
4. Beef meatballs
5. Aubergine meatballs
6. Toast with butter / peanut butter : marmite
7. lentil soup with carrots and potatoes
8. Apples and bananas and a watermelon
9. Tuna pasta
10. Carrots
11. Croissant
12. Meringue with hazelnut and chocolate
13. Yogurt
14. Sausages

no egg no rice and not much fruits

Any update? Does your little one eat better now? We are having the same problems