2yo refusing bath

[MrsMumster]

DD (nearly age 3) seems genuinely scared of getting in the bath (or shower) and so I've just been sponge washing her at the sink. One bath attempt a couple of weeks ago was horrible- she was shaking/screaming. Talk about failure in teaching a child consent.

Anyone experienced this? How to progress from here? I desperately need to wash her hair.

It seems that her fear stems from the worry of peeing without a nappy, thinking that the water trickling down her leg (she won't sit) is an 'accident'. I've reassured without success. Also tried nappy/swimmers on in the bath.

Do they like the swimming pool? Could you get in with them? Ds took a wee notion of being extremely upset about bath time and I'm not totally sure what started it off but a few things that helped were taking his tea set which he really liked into the bath so he could serve me tea and we used colourful bath bombs to change the water colour and I got him to help me do the bubbles. We also did bath in the dark and used glow sticks to light it up and those distractions seemed to help? I would have got in with him at the start when he was really upset and just sat on the edge with my feet in the water?

my ds has just gone through it and come out the other side! Not sure any of this will help but we transitioned slowly, so we did the sponge/flannel wash, but he would be stood/sat in the empty bath (with the water in the sink) whilst we washed him
He also liked holding a sponge/flannel so he could wash himself at the same time.

when he was comfortable with that we did a super shallow bath of the tiniest bit of water, and he could sit or stand, with still washing him with the sponge/flannel.
Then after a while of that we got him to sit down in the tiny bit of water, and still sponge wash. And then gradually over time increased the amount of water.

new fun bath toys are also amazing (his current favourite is a tiny elephant watering can thing)

and we also built up play with water outside the bath, so a paddling pool (but didn’t force him to get in, he played at the side for a few days splashing his hand in it, and then him putting his toys in it, eventually he did get in but wouldn’t sit down but it was huge progress!
also water pistols, and filling the washing up bowl with water and putting his toys in it and setting it up on the patio. Basically just trying to build his confidence around water in general.

Thank you so much both.

I've tried getting in (3inches of water maybe?) and "counting to 5 together and then get out" scenarios (with the view to counting a bit further next time)... but it takes about 20 minutes for her to agree to sit on my knee, barely get wet and to cry most of the 5 seconds anyway.

She hates getting wet when her older sibling splashes her at the paddling pool, even if it's just a few drops on her tummy. Sounds logical to just work at the confidence around water (though bathing was never an issue until a couple of months ago).

I do think it's the fear of peeing that's the issue. Maybe we need to crack potty training first.

It's interesting putting thoughts down and reading your suggestions. Already I think I'm starting to figure out what I need to do, to take tiny steps.

There was a similar thread recently and almost everyone said their toddler had been through a similar phase! (I know that's not helpful but you're not alone!)

I bought those bath crayons to try to distract DD and eventually she sat down in the water without the thinking to do the drawing.

3 inches isn't a shallow bath.
As suggested above - try a sponge wash with her standing in the bath with no water - and no plug.
Move to a plug in, so a tiny bit of water pools. Then have enough water in the bath do do the sponge wash - like a sink full - not enough to even cover the bottom of the bath.

If she's worried about wee running down her leg, it definitely might be worth giving potty training a shot. She could well be ready, and even if it turns out she's not ready for the full thing, she might be ready to sit and do a wee just before bathtime.

I'd try @DoublePeonies approach for the bath itself. For her hair, could she lie down in a dry bath with her head nearest the plug hole so you can do her hair and it doesn't run down her body. You could put a handtowel or something under her head to make it more comfortable and control the water a bit more.

One of my DD went through a phase like this. I bought some bath crayons and it solved the issue. Makes a bit of a mess to clean up but it worked!

Poor thing - I wonder why peeing is so frightening lots of people including my toddler pee in the shower - is she scared of germs or of getting in trouble?

Use dry hair shampoo for a bit, take the pressure off.